Singing voice: One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong...

(The voice stops as the camera fades in to reveal four pictures of Native American pop culture figures, all standing side by side. From left to right we see Tonto, Tatanka [BUFFALO!!!], Chief Illiniwek, and Shaman.)

Voice: Are there even any more words to that song?

(The camera pans out to reveal Tracer Bullet standing next to the pictures, holding a file folder in his hands.)

Tyler: I don’t recall ever hearing any.

TB: Either way, the sentiment still stands. One of these things is quite different from the other three. Oh sure, if you wanted to argue semantics, you could say that they’re ALL different. But I’m not here to nitpick, I’m here to make a point. Now, each one of the subjects of these pictures are offensive in one way or another. Their own special way. Take Tonto, for instance. Speaks in broken English, serves as the Lone Ranger’s “Listen Bitch.” Tatanka...

Tyler: BUFFALO!!!

TB: Yes, buffalo indeed. Well... he was just plain offensive to fans of good quality wrestling. I don’t think I even need to go into the problems with Chief Illiniwek... but Shaman... Shaman here is a very special case. As opposed to Tonto, Tatanka...

Tyler: BUFFALO!!!

TB: *sigh* ... and the Chief, Shaman actually has redeeming qualities. Not a whole lot of them, but some, and that’s much more than I can say for those other three. Especially Tat...

(Tracer looks at the camera, half expecting Tyler to jump the gun and scream BUFFALO!!!)

TB: ... Chris Chavis. You see, Shaman is a Franchise Player. He’s one of my associates. He’s the WWA’s longest-standing superstar. And he really believes in himself. These are all very admirable qualities... especially being one of my associates. In fact, that’s Tyler’s only saving grace.

Tyler: Hey!

TB: Be that as it may, just believing in yourself will not lead you to success. You have to have some level of talent, as well. And while my opponent does, well... the hell with the modesty, I have more. I always have, and I’m not at all ashamed to admit it. I have more confidence in my abilities than most do, and that doesn’t mean I’m overconfident... it just means I have more ability. That isn’t to say that I’m underestimating you, big guy. But when you look at the facts, you’d have to admit the same thing. In the two matches we have had, I won clean, and you didn’t. And that’s not the only major difference between that short time we bandied the belt between us, either. While we have both climbed the mountain to the top of the WWA, just how long did you stay there, Shaman?

Tyler: How long did YOU?

TB: Longer than he did, you can’t deny that. Which brings me to an important question I have in my own mind... whether or not I can get past Shaman, and if either of us can win the second round and go on to face the champ... and we win... how long would we hold it this time? Granted, with the fact that there wouldn’t be either a Meltdown or Fiesta within six days of Rage in the Cage, Shaman would no doubt be able to hold it longer than he did last time. But what about me? None of my three reigns are more than a blip on the radar in terms of longevity. Those three times combined don’t add up to how long Ian Tense’s ONE reign lasted. On one hand, that’s ridiculous. On the other, I probably defended that title twice as often as Tense did. Regardless, my match against Shaman Monday night should really be one that will be remembered for quite some time. There’s a lot of history that is going to be in that ring, and I can guarantee that history will repeat itself.

Tyler: How so?

TB: In the past, Shaman and I have each held a victory over the other. It’s only natural to assume that one of us will come away the winner. I’d like to think that winner will be me, but you can never take into account EVERY variable that could enter into a match. Like, I could come down with food poisoning earlier that day or something. And I’d end up taking another loss among many. It’s getting kind of hard to argue that every single victory other people hold over me are flukes, you know? I’m sure you can relate. You start to question your real value when you have that many marks in the “L” column, don’t you? I know the feeling. It’s maddening to think that we, two of the Franchise Players of the WWA, have two of the most abysmal win percentages. The interesting thing is that the other of us three, Denrol, has an even worse one. That should tell you one of two things... either the lot of us are big dumbasses for sticking around through loss after loss, or we are fiercely loyal to the company. Frankly, I don’t care which it is. I intend to start turning things around fairly soon. And that’s all going to start with a win over you on Monday. My return to dominance, as you so put it, will leave you on the sidelines wondering what happened. Will I step up my game? You’re damn skippy I will. But will the old me come to the forefront of things?

(Tracer shakes his head.)

TB: Not a chance. I am unashamed in my tactics. Any shortcut I can take, I will take. It is a personal belief I have that hard work can get you only so far. At that point, you have to stop working harder, and start working smarter. That may be cliche of me to say, but I know you won’t mind. I know just how familiar you are with overused, “inspiring” altruisms. And you also seem to be quite the contradictory fellow, as well. Saying that you’re planning everything out, and then immediately saying that no plan will work. That’s not only paradoxical, it’s a downright lie. I know that plans work. I’ve seen many of mine go exactly as I had wanted them to. I’ve seen just as many go completely awry thanks to variables I hadn’t taken into the equation, but that’s not the point. The point is that my plan, MY training... is all mental. What you perceive as silence is really calculation. You question whether I have already accepted defeat, or whether I will fight? I will answer that by saying this... while it may appear that I have been doing nothing this past week to prepare for our match, I have been watching you. Waiting for you to slip up, just as you expected. You claim it’s not going to happen. I have to tell you that it already has. How, exactly?

(Tracer waves a finger in the air in a chiding gesture.)

TB: Tsk, tsk, Shaman. That would be telling. You should never tell your opponents what their weaknesses are, because then they’ll just find a way to cover them. As much as we have come to respect each other over the past...

(Tracer checks his watch.)

TB: ... oh, five years or so... I still can’t see fit to let you cover your ass at the expense of my certain victory. You’ll see that when I come to fulfill my aspect of life... you know as well as I do that my rightful place in this business... is at the top. I’ve been there thrice in the past, and have been denied it ever since. It’s really only a matter of time before I reach the apex again. The first step on that ladder is a man who admittedly treats the ring like a playground. Well, Shaman, you can play all you want. I’ll be working.

(Tracer begins to collect the pictures up. He picks up the pictures of Tonto, Tatanka...)

Tyler: BUFFALO!!!

TB: A running gag can only run so long before it gets stupid, Tyler.

Tyler: Yeah, I know.

(... the offensive mascot... when he comes to Shaman’s picture, he stops and looks at it for a moment.)

TB: Oh, and one more thing, Shaman... do you recall the last question you posed to me recently? Well, in case you haven’t noticed...

(Tracer looks into the camera, an aura of sheer melancholia about him.)

TB: I was a broken down hero for quite some time. I left all of that behind me. Or rather, I was FORCED to leave all of that behind me. I had no other choice... when so many people turn their back on you in unison, you can’t help but return the favor. I’m sure you’ve felt similar to this in your own career. And you’ll feel it again. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. The people are fickle, they’re not going to cheer for you forever. At one time, I didn’t want to believe that. But whatever... I’ll see you Monday. And maybe we can get a few drinks afterward. I have a feeling we’ll both need them.

(Tracer picks Shaman’s picture up, and places it, along with the three others...)

Tyler: BUFFALO!!!

TB: *audible sigh*

(... in a file folder and tosses it onto a nearby table. Tracer leaves the room, and Tyler fades to black. But not before he says it one last time.)

Tyler: BUFFALO!!!

(Fade to black.)