[We open in the Chicago residence of one Extreme Machine Dave Harley. We hear a few pots and pans clattering, so the camera heads towards the kitchen. For those of you lucky (or unlucky) enough to have Smellivision, you’d smell the sweet scent of baking. If you don’t have Smellivision, just burn a piece of toast – same thing. As we enter the spacious kitchen, we see that Dave Harley has his head in the oven. Dear God! Has he done the unthinkable? He has! He’s cooked something!]

Harley: Wha~! Wazza~?!

[Dave pulls his head out of the oven. He is wearing a chef’s hat. It would appear that the top corner is on fire. We won’t tell him if you won’t…]

Harley: Oh, hey there! Welcome to the kitchen of Dave Harley!

[Dave looks a bit awkward.]

Harley: …

[He looks off camera.]

Harley: Umm…Jill? Why are they here?

[We hear the whispering of Dave’s personal assistant.]

Harley: What? Oh, right…I believe you’re here for this ‘I want Gold’ thingy. Well, the truth of the matter is…I don’t. No siree. Why would I want something like the WWA World Title? Pfft.

[Dave starts emptying a shopping bag on the table. He pulls out a DVD called ‘Greatest World Title Matches’ and puts it to one side.]

Harley: I mean, come on! Why would I want the hassle of a World Title belt?

[He pulls out a book entitled ‘World Title Wearing For Dummies’ and puts it to one side.]

Harley: You’ve got all these Fiesta guys going on and on about how they want the Gold, listing all the reasons they deserve their shot. Not me. No way!

[He pulls out some polish.]

Harley: I mean, you really think I’d be that desperate for the World Title that I’d call you guys around here and beg for it on national television like all the other guys? I don’t think so! I’m the Extreme Machine! I don’t need to resort to things like that!

[He puts a leaflet to one side – ‘So You’re Thinking of Winning The Gold’.]

Harley: So all the other Fiesta stars can tell you they want the Gold. Let Ian Tense and Enigma plead their cases. I’m not buying in to it.

[The timer beeps on the oven. Dave puts on a pair of oven gloves.]

Harley: So, I’m sorry to disappoint all the loyal HARLettes out there. But you see…

[Dave takes a baking tray out of the oven and places it on the counter.]

Harley: I don’t want Gold!

[He walks off and the camera zooms in on the baking tray. We fade out to the sight of little World Title cookies.]