(Today’s episode of Insider begins with a hand holding up a piece of cardboard. It reads:

aN x-cOrp ProDuCtiOn

crudely drawn in red crayon. The splashing of water can be heard in the background. The piece of cardboard is pulled out of view and we can see the scene, a public swimming pool. Dozens of people are seen, diving, swimming, or just catching some rays. Two figures run past and a P.A. announcement is heard.)

P.A: Swimmers are reminded not to run around the poolside area.

(The two figures slow down and eventually stop. We see it is Mal Somers and Dave Harley.)

Harley: Dude, that is like the fifteenth time that announcement has come over the P.A.
Somers: Go figure.
Harley: What’s it got to do with us anyways? They keep saying swimmers should stop running, But we are running, not swimming! We aren’t swimmers, we are too busy running!
Somers: Hey , good point.

(Mal starts running again, he takes a couple of steps but then…)

P.A: Swimmers are reminded not to run around the poolside area.

Somers: Bugger! I guess we better have a swim then.
Harley: Sounds good man, I can show all the Harlettes in attendance my synchronised swimming skills.
Somers: Plus those new swimming trunks I got you!
Harley: Oh yeah thanks for that man, I outgrew my other ones, too many Happy Meals I guess.

(Harley does a little spin, showing off his red and black X-CORP bathers. A couple of wolf whistles are heard. Somers and Harley join a short queue waiting to have a go on the junior diving board.)

Somers: Well, not long til Rage in the Cage hey? Are you scared?
Harley: Of what?
Somers: Me, your biggest challenge yet!
Harley: Dude, you crack me up.
Somers: I was being serious.
Harley: Really, I mean, heck yeah I’m scared!
Somers: Anywhoo, I am really looking forward to it. Wrestling my best buddy in a “no-gimmick” gimmick match, for the Intercontinental Title, it’s a real honor.

(The duo move up a little closer to the board.)

Harley: Yeah, I’m looking forward to it too. We have had our fair share of epic matches and this will be no exception.
Somers: Heck yeah, the Windy City Brawl for the Extreme Title back in the EWA!
Harley: I won that one! And how about our hardcore rules match when we were just starting out in the WWA.
Somers: How could I forget? I won that one, splashing you through a table wrapped in barbed wire!
Harley and Somers: Aahhhhhhh, Good Times.

(The duo get to the front of the queue.)

Harley: Age before beauty…
Somers: No man, you go first, the s*it before the shovel!
Harley: Ladies first, after you.

(The queue behind them gets a bit impatient.)

Somers: Hmmm, how about Champs before challengers?

Harley: (grinning) Now, how can a man argue with that? Look out below!

(Harley runs the length of the board, does a big bounce and lands into the water with a thunderous splash. Water sploshes high up in the air.)

Harley: WOOOOOO! How was that man?

Somers: Not bad dude, you look really ha-pee.

Harley: Say what?

(A couple of sniggers can be heard from poolside, getting louder by the second.)

Somers: Never mind man, you are number one!

Harley: Thanks dude, I….WHAT THE~!

(It appears a yellowish coloured fluid is flowing out of Harley’s new swimming shorts. One can’t help but think that Harley has decided to “go” in the pool. He swims away but it follows him. People exit the pool as the gathering crowd stands and points at a red faced Harley. Somers pulls a bottle of dye out of his pocket and waves it at Harley who splashes the water at the laughing crowd.)

Harley: AARRGGGGHHHHH!!

(We fade out as the friendly competition hits full stride. The cardboard re-emerges and we see the score.)

SomErS = 3
HArLEy = 2