Vic Vicious is sitting alone in a modest living room. A dark blue sofa, love seat and recliner are set up along the walls. A fourty-two inch flat screen television is hanging from the wall across from the sofa and recliner. A painting and several framed photos are neatly hung about the room. Vic is sitting on the sofa, holding the t.v. remote in his hand and the screen is blank, yet Vic stares intently into the gray void. A phone begins to ring on an end table next to Vic. Vic lets it ring a few times before picking up the receiver.

“Hello... Oh hey Lance... no, not a God damned thing yet. ... You haven’t heard anythin’ from them either huh? ... Typical. Tag team champs, my a$$! ... No, we’re ready. We’re goin’ to take these punks to school. ... We know what has to be done. We’re goin’ to show the world just how pathetic these retards are. The Pain Syndicate, pfft! A couple of nobodies. ... Yeah, I’m still waitin’ to hear from Mick.”

The door to the penthouse apartment opens and Mick Vain strides in.

“Mick just arrived. ... Yeah, I’ll fill you in if we hear anythin’. Yep, later.”

Vic hangs up the phone. Mick hangs his leather jacket in the closet near the entrance to the apartment. He walks into the living room with a big smile on his face.

“What are you smilin’ about?” Vic asks, looking annoyed as he often does.

Mick says nothing and keeps smiling. He plops down in the recliner and kicks his feet back.

Vic raises an eyebrow to show his impatience. Mick, fully aware of his tag team partner’s habits, knows that Vic is close to snapping. He waits a few seconds.

“Well!” Vic growls. This only amuses Mick even more. Vic sighs deeply.

“All right man, chill, would ya’? You asked me to find The Pain Syndicate and I have done so.” Mick looks very proud of this accomplishment. Vic presses for more information.

“And?!”

“And, here they are!” Mick pulls out an empty milk carton.

Vic stares at it dubiously. “ A milk carton... The Pain Syndicate are in a milk carton.”

“Nah man, don’t be silly,” Mick says as he turns the milk carton around to show what is on the back. There is a picture of Agony and Desolation with dumbfounded looks on their faces. A message stating that these individuals are missing and a 1-800 number is given to call in case these individuals are seen.

“Maybe this will help find those two goofs.” Mick suggests, still smiling.

“Well, it can’t hurt.”

A knock disturbs their conversation. Vic gets up from his chair to answer the door. He opens it to reveal the presence of WWA reporter, Wallace Coleman. Wallace is dressed in a WWA dress shirt and some dark slacks. A pair of thin wire glasses rests on his nose. With a cameraman in tow, he invites himself in.

“Hello Vic, mind if I come in?” Wallace asks. Not waiting for a response, Wallace enters the suite. Vic allows him to enter and closes the door behind him. Wallace makes his way to the living room where Mick is still relaxing on the recliner.

“Well hello there, I’m Wallace Coleman.”

Wallace extends his right hand.

“Who?” Mick makes no attempt to shake Wallace’s hand. Wallace looks awkward for a moment, but he regains whatever cool he had by doing what he does best, ask questions. Vic sits back down on the sofa while Wallace makes himself comfortable on the love seat.

“Hey guys, let me start by saying congratulations on winning the Way to Greatness. You guys are on an impressive run.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Vic snaps impatiently, “get on with it.”

Wallace smiles weakly at the tag team. Vic looks ready to pounce at any moment and Mick looks relaxed to the point where he could doze off. He tries a simple but usually effective way to start his interviews.

“How do you feel about facing the tag team champions Agony and Desolation at Birthday Bash?”

Mick covers his mouth with his right hand to suppress a snicker. Vic looks intently at the young WWA reporter.

“Holy cr*p Walter! Are you the best the WWA has to run interviews?”

“Um, my name is Wallace actually...”

Vic continues as if Wallace had never attempted to interrupt him.

“How about this? We’re excited. We’re stoked. We’re jacked up. We are goin’ to decimate those clowns Agony and Desolation! Blah! Blah! Blah! Who the hell cares about how we feel?! You should ask the two stooges how they feel about havin’ to face Vain and Vicious at Birthday Bash. If you can find those yellow-bellied cowards!”

Wallace tries to speak, but the words get all tripped up on his tongue and never pass his lips. Mick tries to calm Vic down and relax Wallace.

“Come on Vic, give the guy a break. He was probably asked by the WWA bigwigs to find Vain and Vicious and get a few words of wisdom. Hell, who else would they even bother with?”

Vic continues to glare at Wallace. Mick goes on.

“Now you have to understand Wally why my friend Vic is a bit upset. You see, he had his heart set on facing The Pain Syndicate for the WWA tag team titles. Not just face them, but face them at their best. Unfortunately, while we’re chomping at the bit to get at TPS, Agony and Desolation have gone and pulled a David Copperfield on us and the rest of the WWA.”

Wallace listens attentively, taking notes on a small notepad. “Yes, I’ve noticed that they haven’t been around much lately.”

Vic cuts in. “Around much?! Those buffoons have not been seen period! They are showin’ the world their true color, yellow!”

“Now, now Vic,” Mick speaks in a soothing voice. “I’m sure there is a perfectly good reason why The Pain Syndicate have not been seen since we ran them out of the last Meltdown. Maybe they left the country knowing the hellacious trouble they are most definitely in, but I doubt this is the case. They are The Pain Syndicate, afterall. Nope, what more than likely happened is in their attempt to leave the country out of the sheer terror they are feeling, they hopped into their little car. They drove and arrived at a traffic circle and were majorly confused. They couldn’t understand why they kept going around in a circle. Feeling this would still take them to either Canada or Mexico, Agony and Desolation kept going round and round and round. After several hours of this, they were determined that they had driven a sufficient amount of time so they stopped on the side of the road. They got out and convinced each other that they had indeed arrived in another country.”

Vic cannot help but crack a smile at Mick’s ridiculous explanation for their opponents’ apparent disappearance.

“And they’re probably still waiting there wondering why the sun keeps going up and down.” Mick smiles broadly.

“Wallace looks skeptical. “I doubt that is the case Mick.”

Mick’s smile disappears as he stares directly at Wallace.

“You’re right Wally, that is ridiculous. But it may be better than the truth. And that is these guys want no part of Vain and Vicious. They want nothing to do with this match. They may not be the sharpest tools in the shed, but they know well enough that they have as much chance of walking out of Birthday Bash with their titles as a one legged man has of winning an a$$ kicking contest. They are going to be embarrassed and they are going to get hurt.”

Out in the hallway, the sound of someone running can be heard. The individual stops at the penthouse door and begins to pound on it vigorously.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

“Who the hell?!” Vic’s upper lip curls in anger as he stomps towards the door. He swings the door open. A young man, out of breath, is standing there with a video tape in his hands.

“Mr. Vici... Vicious... Here... is... a tape of ... T... P... S...”

Vic grabs the tape and slams the door in the guy’s face. He walks back to the living room. Mick looks at him curiously.

“No, don’t tell me. It isn’t. TPS have surfaced.”

Vic says nothing. He opens a cabinet filled with entertainment equipment. A stereo, DVD player, surround sound controller and a VHS player are all neatly placed on their individual shelves. Vic slips the video tape in the machine and presses play. The Pain Syndicate’s promo is playing. The scene fades out.

...

The scene fades in once again. Mick and Vic stare at the television and then at each other. Even without saying a word, they are in complete agreement. They shake their heads and look very disappointed. Wallace Coleman has waited patiently to this point.

“Well, there you have it guys, TPS have finally made an appearance. That must make you happy.” Wallace forces a smile that no one would believe.

Vic looks disgusted and goes to the kitchen for some refreshments. Mick sits back in the recliner and places his hands behind his head.

“To be honest there Wally, the only thing that will make us happy is getting our hands around their scrawny necks. Let’s be honest here. The only people who would be happy by what we just watched is the medical community.” Mick states with conviction.

Wallace looks a bit puzzled, “the medical community?”

Looking as sincere as possibly, Mick elaborates. “Of course, because clearly The Pain Syndicate have found a cure for insomnia! I mean, forget valuums for crying out loud. Watch these guys talk about, whatever, and blam! No more sleepless nights.”

Wallace nods his head and jots down a few more notes in his trusty notepad. “So you guys are not overly concerned with The Pain Syndicate?”

Vic reenters the room as Wallace asks this.

“Please. These tag team champs are a joke! Vain and Vicious will expose them as such at the Birthday Bash. I don’t expect this to be a walk in the park, but they had better come to grips with the fact that they have never faced a more talented, tougher and devastatin’ tag team in their careers. I, for one, can’t wait!” Vic smiles wickedly.

“What about the rest of Devil’s Own? They might want to ensure that the tag titles stay in the fold, if you know what I mean,” presses Wallace Coleman.

“If anyone else from Devil’s Own sticks their nose in Vain and Vicious’ business, they will have those noses shoved to the deep recesses of their skull! Mick and I are walkin’ out of the Bash with those titles. Make no mistake, this is goin’ to be a war and Vain and Vicious are goin’ to lay waste to a pair of dumba$$es, Agony and Desolation.”

“What about...” Wallace tries to get another question in but Vic cuts him off.

“Hey! This is over. We are done talkin’! We’ll finish this ‘conversation’ in the ring and believe me, when it’s all said and done, Vain and Vicious will have the last word! Bye!”

Vic grabs Wallace by the arm and escorts him to the door, with his cameraman in tow. He is shoved out into the hallway. Vic slams the door behind them. With only days left until the Birthday Bash, final preparations are being made, strategies are being finalized, anticipation for the biggest event of the year is sky high. Vain and Vicious are ready for the Bash. Are you? ... fade to black.