(The Carnage Express is cruising towards a Walt Disney World parking lot. A portion of the lot has been cordoned off as a press area. A camera crew and a huge number of screaming WWA fans greet the bus, which plays ‘Rock You Like A Hurricane’ at fever pitch as it travels. Disney’s Spokesman stands on a podium awaiting his guest with Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck dancing next to him.)

Spokesman: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome…JACK GRIFFITHS!

(The door of the Carnage Express opens and Carnage’s new image consultant – Jacques Primault waltzes out. Scotty Carnage then steps out, dressed as Uncle Sam. He looks distinctly uncomfortable.)

Spokesman: Jack Griffiths, everyone!

Carnage: Wha~?

(The applause immediately stop.)

Carnage: Uh…hey…

(Primault coughs, prompting Scotty. He has a routine memorised.)

Carnage: No, Jacques.

Jacques: For your brother?

(Carnage groans and climbs on to the podium.)

Carnage: (Half-heartedly) Greetings America. I’m Uncle Scotty and I’m here to insure you are part of the biggest Independence Day celebration ever. That’s right kids, Uncle Scotty wants YOU (Points) to be a part of Independence Day Rumble this Sunday…

(OK. Half heartedly may have been an overstatement. Scotty isn’t so much going through the motions as he is passing them through his mouth.)

Spokesman: Psst. Who are you? Your boss said we were getting Jack Griffiths!

Carnage: Yeah? Well Jack’s not here, pal. I’m Scotty Carnage. I’m not here to promote your stupid resort – I’m here to kick ass on Sunday Night. That’s all.

Spokesman: In an Uncle Sam outfit?

Carnage: This is someone’s idea of a practical joke. See that French guy down there? He made me do this! Look, let’s make a deal. You tell Walt that I turned up and entertained the kids…

Spokesman: Walt is dead.

Carnage: Well, whoever. Tell him I fulfilled my end of the contract. My guys will be happy, I can get out of your hair and we can forget this whole sad scenario, yeah? Do we have a deal?

(A kid in the audience chimes in.)

Kid: Scotty Carnage sucks!

Carnage: What?

Kid: Scotty Carnage sucks. You’re a poopy head.

Carnage: Don’t you call me that! Do you think I want to stand here looking like a moron? How would you like to ride around in a bus with your face plastered on it, huh? This is like one long nightmare!

(Mickey Mouse approaches Scotty and whispers something through the mask.)

Mickey: Hey, lay off the kid.

Carnage: Excuse me?

Mickey: I said lay off the kid, asshole.

Carnage: Right, that’s it!

(Carnage punches Mickey across the nose and wrestles him to the floor. Donald sees the commotion and runs over, pouncing on Carnage as the WWA fans cheer in delight. We cut from this scene of chaos to a recording of these events played on the local news station. Carnage is sat in a hotel room with Jacques watching events as they unfolded.)

Reporter: Wrestling fans were delighted today when WWA superstar Scotty Carnage took part in a fun brawl with Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. The publicity stunt, organised to promote the WWA’s Independence Day Brawl on Sunday, took place at Walt Disney World this afternoon. Let’s hope Scotty Carnage has better luck in his match! (Laughs)

(Carnage turns the TV off.)

Carnage: Great.

Jacques: Iz good publicity! Will make you top babyface.

Carnage: But that’s just it. I don’t want to be the babyface. I can’t do the moral thing week in and week out. Where’s the fun in that? I’m going to win the Rumble and move in to the Title picture. Nothing can stand in my way.

Jacques: Except a giant Mouse et Duck…

Carnage: Are you sure Harley didn’t hire you to ruin me?

Jacques: Besides, it make me ‘appy to see ze smiles on ze children’s faces today.

Carnage: Oh, well in that case it was all worth it, wasn’t it? Gimme a break! If you ever put me in to a Uncle Sam costume again, we’re gonna have some serious problems. You got that?

Jacques: Monsieur Scotty, you ‘ave perfomed admirably. I ‘ave a reward for you.

(There is a knock at the door.)

Jacques: Ah! Zey are ‘ere now!

(Jacques opens the door, admitting two ladies – one dressed as Snow White, the other as Cinderella.)

Carnage: (Smiles) You’re alright, Jacques.

Jacques: I try, monsieur. I shall call for you tomorrow.

(Jacques turns to leave.)

Carnage: When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true!