(A low humming can be heard as the camera fades in to the black ashphalt of a city street. The X-Mobile enters the scene for the first time in a while, putting down the road in its own unique way. The black golf cart with dumpster attached to the front draws some looks, but perhaps the scene creating the most attention is its driver.

Mal Somers, recently dethroned WWA World Champion is in control of the vehicle, but only just. His long red hair has not seen a comb for several weeks and he is long beyond the need for a shave. His eyes have more bags than the conveyor belt at an airline terminal, and as a result, he is hunched over the wheel, straining to keep his eyes open, yawning.

The camera catches a tall, leggy blonde walking along the sidewalk. Her cornsilk hair shines in the light which also illuminates her curves, that just happen to be in all the right places. Mal notices this and looks to his right, admiring her form, his tongue hanging out. The bags in his eyes seem to have been packed and disappear at the very sight of her.)

Somers: Whoa, what a babe! Hey baby, if you were in the army you’d be Major Hottie! Woo-h~!

CRASH!

(The camera cuts to the X-Mobile which has been halted by a small tree. The blonde shakes her head and walks away hurridly, as Somers bangs his head on the steering wheel repeatedly.)

Somers: Damn! TOOT! Story of my TOOT! life. Paying all my TOOT! attention to one thing, only to take my attention from what is right in front of me. How bloody TOOT! typical!

(Somers alights the vehicle to inspect the damage.)

Somers: Kind of like the Birthday Brawl I guess. I was so wrapped up with thinking about the next trick Dick Tracy was going to pull out of his hat, I neglected to see what was right in front of me.

(Somers shakes his head, stroking his red beard.)

Somers: I mean, the past few months all that has been on my mind has been Tracer Bullet this…Tracer Bullet that. But in the end, it was down to me and the man who has betrayed me…Dave Harley!

(A sneer crosses the face of Mal.)

Somers: All along I was convinced it would come down to me and Tracer, even after I pinned him I kept thinking he would weasel his way in and try and mess things up for me. But in the end, it was Dave Harley, a guy I had put to the back of my mind because we cannot come into contact with one another.

(Somers notes a dent in the dumpster and kicks the tree in anger.)

Somers: He used that restraining order against me, to get the win! To win the WWA World Title!

(He kicks the tree again, it wobbles.)

Somers: Now, I’m not saying that Tracer Bullet is a hot blonde, and Dave is a small tree, but sometimes, you just have to be more aware of your surroundings, more aware of what is around the corner. Next time, I am going to be more prepared. Next time, I wont allow myself to be distracted like I was at the Birthday Brawl. I wont allow myself to be shafted by conniving monkey boys!

(Somers kicks the tree again. He starts talking to himself some more.)

Somers: And I know just the place to begin. This Monday, at Meltdown! I’ll be teaming up with my pal Craven Moore, against the guy I have pinned one, two, three times, Tracer Bullet, and the guy I made pass out at Global Warfare, The Muppet Man. It should be a good match. All of us want a shot, or another shot at that Title, and I think whoever impresses is going to be going one step closer to facing Dave Harley for the strap.

(Somers smirks.)

Somers: Oh yeah, one other thing…

(He reaches over into his dumpster and fumbles around, before pulling out a silver fold up steel chair wrapped in barbed wire and holding up high. A few shrill screams are heard.)

Somers: I’m back baby! WOOO!

(Somers spins around and like a pro baseballer, he smacks the tree with his weapon of choice. It topples over. Somers grins and hops back into the X-Mobile with a renewed vigour. The X-Mobile putts away, over the tree, and into the distance, as we fade to black.)