(We are in a plush office. A large window gives us a marvellous view of the Thames, winter sun streams in and lights up a stylish room. The walls are lined with weighty tomes, the large space is filled by a huge oak desk. Behind this is sat an elderly man with half-moon glasses on, his name is Docter Jacob Hoch, one of the foremost European psycho-analysts. The Doctor sits back in his chair and peers over his spectacles at James Curzon, sat across the desk from him.)

Hoch: So you say I am your seventeenth doctor in 3 months? Why is this?

(Curzon squints around the room and replies in a whisper.)

Curzon: They couldn’t be trusted, I was unable to continue my association with them. They were all abusing their positions and supplying information about me to the conspiracy!
Hoch: Interesting.

(He notes something down and then turns to the object taking up a large proportion of the desk. It his a huge brown folder, full to bursting.)

Curzon: Is that my file?
Hoch: Part of it, yes.

(Hoch opens the file and takes our a sheet from the top.)

Hoch: I have studied this file, all 800 pages of it. Plus the notes I received from Professor Ratner-Pfeiffenbergstrom, Doctor Vensteinerwarden and Ms Lopez. I also investigated the 20gb file emailed to me from your workplace, the WWA and furthered my own research at the British Library and www.findalltheinfo.com
Curzon: And…?
Hoch: And, I have come to some interesting conclusions.
Curzon: Really?!

(Bonafide leans forward excitedly. Dr Hoch leans back on his chair and sighs. Bonafide waits for him to speak. And then waits some more. And then a little more. Finally he sits back in his chair. Dr Hoch leans forward again.)

Hoch: My conclusions, as I said, are very interesting.
Curzon: They are?
Hoch: Yes, the conclusions I have found, and you will also find, very intersesting.
Curzon: So what are they?
Hoch: They are interesting, very interesting.

(Curzon frowns in confusion.)

Curzon: Please, just tell me the details!

(Dr Hoch reads from the sheet of paper)

Hoch: Patient 136, James Augustus Curzon, age 24, suffers from acute paranoia.
Curzon: Well that’s obvious!
Hoch: Until recently traces of psychotic schizophrenia were noted although these have faded in recent months.
Curzon: So I am clear?
Hoch: Of that condition, yes. However you have also developed some further social problems.
Curzon: I have?

(Dr Hoch takes another sheet.)

Hoch: You seem to have compulsive tendencies, you are a compulsive liar,..
Curzon: No I’m not.
Hoch: …A compulsive thief…

(Curzon slips a silver ashtray out of his sleeve and back onto the table.)

Hoch: You are a cheater, a coward and are arrogant beyond belief. However these are not mental problems. However they will cause you to act rather unsociable a lot of the time.
Curzon: But I have no mental problems?
Hoch: No, but…

(Curzon leaps to his feet.)

Curzon: Woohoo! I’m not a nutter! Im not insane!

(He dances around the table, singing.)

Curzon: I am able to wrestle against Grunge on Monday then! Woohoo!
Hoch: Not just Grunge! Ember and Ace too.

(Curzon stops singing and dancing.)

Curzon: I have to wrestle 3 guys?! Oh no, I don’t think I can do it. Maybe I’ll ring in sick…
Hoch: Hey, you paid me, it’s your problem now.
Curzon: Oh dear god, what have I done!
Hoch: Goodbye james, stay sane. Or at least less mad…

(Hoch turns back to his books. Curzon quickly re-pockets the ashtray and swipes a couple of candlesticks.)

Curzon: The future starts now!

(He turns and runs out of the room.)