(Fade in to a quiet hotel room. Obviously, the man sitting in the chair with very dim lighting over it is somewhat security-minded. Of course, it seems like the man is paranoid. The absence of all other people in the room, as well as the non-presence of all but the lighting emanating from the bathroom, gives to the sense that the man in this current video is very secretive. Then again, appearances are deceiving.)

Man: No, I'm not James Curzon.

(So much for the theory of paranoia. The camera takes a simple rotation around the room, revealing pretty much nothing except for the curtains, since the lighting from outside reveals them. Other than that, nothing shows. Except for that man in the chair. For some reason, he is making the scene show that he is present. That fact in itself reveals very little about the man, and yet reveals quite possibly too much for the man's intents.)

Man: And though the camera will never discover my location from this, I might as well say it. I'm in New Orleans. Not at Bourbon Street, specifically, but close enough. So many people come out here to scout the towns. I came early because Thursday tickets just cost less than Friday and weekend tickets. Just because I'm a wrestler doesn't mean I can't be frugal.

(The camera suddenly begins to jiggle around. Of course, the camera man is obviously tired, seeing as it's about 2000 hours, or 10 PM, New Orleans time, and he's still at work when he would normally be relaxing. Then again, the man in the chair is technically working and wide awake when he could be sleeping. His speech is quite cogent, and therefore he is either talking in his sleep, dreaming this entire interview, or he's wide awake. Either way, it obviously works for the World Wrestling Alliance.)

Man: I like to reflect about certain topics at night. You see, during the day, there's too much to worry about. Jobs, matches, how you'll get to certain places, family members, keeping in touch with friends...trying to get back together with ex-girlfriends. While you do get time to think between the lapses in activity, you never really get to think without getting another person's inquiries or opinions. It's one of the reasons I like the nighttime. Nothing interferes with your thoughts. It's just yourself, thinking about things which you consider to be important.

(The man sighs. Well, now that he's explained himself, we might as well destroy the mystery of who the hell is talking. So we cue the camera man to speak, even though it's quite unusual for us to do so.)

CM: Hey, Nick, did this have a point, or are you wasting my time?

(That's right. We're watching "The Rainmaker" Nicholas Adams, an old hand in wrestling, but a relative rookie in the WWA. So far, he's captured the Television title twice, competed for the WWA US title, and is participating in the Bourbon Street Brawl. In the Brawl, the winner gets a title shot for the WWA World title. Of course, this information is only for newcomers to the WWA. Otherwise, we're sorry to have bored you with this background information.)

Adams: Yes, there's a point. I was just getting to it when you so bluntly interrupted me. You see, tonight, when I was reveling in the silence that the night provides, I came to a couple revalations that I felt that I should state, since they pertain to the competition known as the Bourbon Street Brawl.

(And now the production crew are slapping their collective heads for putting the needless information in the above online transcript. Of course, being lazy, we're not going to delete it. That's just how it goes sometimes. But it seems that we're finally getting down to business.)

Adams: All this time, I've been chasing goals. First, it was just to get noticed in the WWA. I wanted to become huge. I wanted to become known to every WWA fan that ever existed. The TV title seemed to be a step in the right direction, but after I won it, it became more like an onus that I had to bear. The entire time I held it, I knew that when I lost it, I was just going to leave it at that and go on to bigger and better things.

(Adams chuckles slightly. Does anybody get the humor? Anybody? Did we miss a sentence that he mumbled? Yes, we know Nick is going to complain, should he ever take a look at this transcript. Who cares? He can't exactly fire us. Only Matt Warr or Mark Harrington can do that, and why would they do it so late at night?)

Adams: Ironically, that belt was more like a leash. After Christyan Payne took it, I fought tooth and nail for that title. And then Grunge took it, and I fought even harder. I defeated him, and it was great. He then took it from me, but I couldn't just leave it there. For some reason, I was driven to re-gain my pride. The stakes got higher and higher, and at March Madness, I accidentally hit his wife with a chair.

(Nick shakes his head.)

Adams: Of course, from then on, we were one another's arch-enemy, the foil to the other's protagonist. It was like we couldn't get away from one another. Eventually, it got all the way to a US title match at Revolution, a match which Grunge won fairly. I don't begrudge him of that title. In fact, it's the lack of that very title that gives me the opportunity that I now have. I now have the chance to become one of the biggest stars in the WWA.

(Adams is probably smiling, but the light isn't bright enough to show that much detail.)

Adams: You see, at the Bourbon Street Brawl, I could earn a title shot against Kash. Or maybe Tracer Bullet. Whoever wins at the Independence Day Rumble WWA World title match, really. I don't care, either way. I just want the title. I have my eyes set upon it, and quite honestly, I know I can win it. I don't care if the crazy morons want to try and take away my victory. Let me just run down the list of competitors.

(Nick pulls out a list from his pocket.)

Adams: Firstly, Showtime and James Curzon. It might just be me, but Showtime seems to be a loser in this match. He doesn't seem like a threat. I mean, come on. He's never managed to defend any titles that he has won. I got in a TV title defense, at least. Plus, he has better odds of tripping and slamming into a wall than winning the match. As for James Curzon, he's probably too paranoid to risk wandering Bourbon Street looking for a fight. I'd bet three to one that Curzon winds up hiding in a trash can.

(Nick pauses, and then continues.)

Adams: Secondly, Se7en and Joey K. Well, with a level playing field, there's no doubt in my mind that his hide is going to be seriously whipped. I mean, come on. A man that's too scared to show his face deserves to be treated like the coward that he is. And Joey K only won the TV title because I was out to give Grunge a beating the night of his TV title match. Besides, Enigma deserves to be shown what happens to people who don't know their place.

(Nick stands up from the chair.)

Adams: Then there's the four members of Devil's Own entering into the Bourbon Street Brawl. You see, normally, I would say bring it on. This time, I'm going to say they'd better not bring it, because if they even try, I vow that I will rip them limb from limb. That includes all four of them. Yes, I'm talking to all four of you, Tommy "Can You Hear Me" Starr, the "Big Salmon" Leviathan, the "Insanely Stupid Inmate" Lockdown, and the "Biggest Loser EVER" Ian Tense. Devil's Own should feel right at home when I attack them, since they will be put through HELL.

(Nick begins to walk forward.)

Adams: And then there's Shaman and Jimmi Zion. You two have suddenly become rather friendly with one another, haven't you? Zion, I still have to say that you're obverly arrogant, even for an English man that married a rich daddy's girl. So you beat Shaman in a Himilayan Pit match. That means nothing. That doesn't mean that I can't take you to school and prove that you still have a lot to learn. You think that you are the new king of extreme? Well, let me tell you something. In the Bible, it says that Zion, and Jerusalem specifically, will fall before the end. And so, like that great city, you will fall. And that will be at my hands, whether the true king of extreme, Shaman, decides to help you just a little bit.

(Nick looks around.)

Adams: As for X-Corp and EVD...well, I just have to say that I'll try not to fight you, but if it comes down to such a confrontation, where we can't just go and find two other opponents, I will fight you, and I have very little doubt that the ministers of extreme and the god of extreme will have to do a little re-discovery. They'll have to discover how much havoc I can wreak with my hands and feet.

(Nick walks into the moonlight, and the Moon casts an eerie glow upon his face, making him seem sort of holy...or maybe just dead.)

Adams: And the two mystery men...stay out of my way, or you'll find your way into a hospital. In fact, if you mess with me, you might just discover why they call me...

(Nick smiles, breathes in through clenched teeth, and then smiles sardonically.)

Adams: The Rainmaker.

(Fade out from this very weird segment.)