"You are live! With Brother Steve and the Cougar!"
The Cougar's roar shook me from my reverie. It was 7:40 A.M., I forgot my Diet Mountain Dew. And I have to deal with the worst thing that ever happens on morning drive time.
"And in West Valley City on October 10th, it's WWA Meltdown! The Return of the WWA!"
All I want to do is get through this. Go home, and go to sleep. And I'm supposed to smile and get through this. I'm the WWA's only champion.
"The TV Champ? So you can defend your title on Two and a Half Men? What's your opinion on that Ashton Kutcher?"
Drew: What?
Two and a Half Men, that's America's favorite show? You just have to have an opinion on it.
Drew: I'm usually busy Monday nights.
Oh God. They're staring at me. Did I say something off--
[A cacophony of sound effects play.]
That's Right, Drew Rosen's on the show. WWA TV Champion. WWA Moving to Monday Night's The Meltdown Supershow! And are we gonna going to see you with two belts?
Drew: I'm the one nobody's talking about. That's always a good sign.
Brave words.
Drew: Well think about it like this. You've been smacking people around with the style and aplomb as yours truly? You know you're going in strong. And everybody seems to be ignoring or underestimating me.
Are you talking about the American Freebear?
Drew: I am and I'm not. Sure, the Freebear thinks that I can't go toe to toe with him in a brawl. He's a loud moron that makes the fans go yay because he climbs the turnbuckle. The one regret is that I never stomped him back to SEC Country.
Whoa. Drew Rosen's coming out with some fire.
Fiery words from the TV Champ. [A fwoosh sound plays.]
Drew: And some people? Some people say I'm too aggressive. They're gonna say it's my downfall. Like this Dionysus character. He's all like, "He thinks he's a great warrior." I don't think I'm a great warrior. I know I'm a great warrior.
Winning a championship means you are the best in the company. You know that? And I did it in three matches. Three. Belts are useless for anything beyond telling people that you are awesome and they are not.
I take pride in that fact. And maybe I was telling myself that I don't care about the championship more than any of my opponents, but let's be honest. If you're here, you have someone whose face you want to rub your success in. And the fact remains when the time comes? Yours truly is going to be on top.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
CHILLS. I GOT CHILLS.
Drew: Look. It doesn't matter if it's Crazy Jim Black, the ladies of Iconic, Adam Copeland, or some random mystery guest. It's victory or death. And I'm fixing on living forever.
That was your WWA TV Champion, Drew Rosen. Monday Night. West Valley City, the World Championship is going to be decided, and Drew Rosen is coming for it.
Drew, thanks for your time.
Drew: Pleasure's all yours.
It's Ten Before Ten, 61 degrees for the High, and LMFAO's gonna Party Rock You.