“The King of Rock and Roll. The Chosen One. Elvi…er…John Hitchin! The WWA’s newest superstar, and the man that is going to win the battle royal for the number one contender spot, for Shaman’s Extreme Title. For some reason…I just get the feeling that no one else thinks I will be able to pull this off but myself. And for some reason, those tattoos that I got in my cereal…are coming off. Damnit…I knew I should’ve bought the jumbo pack of Shreddies.

After my training session yesterday, I had to go to my meeting with Dr. Powers, who still insists that I call him Dr. Strangelove…and he keeps telling me to love some bomb. He told me I was having some delusions.

Later on in our session, we started to do some name association. You know, he says a name, and I tell him the first thing that comes to my mind. Well I thought this was gonna be something that could help me, as it turns out, he just likes seeing me get worked up…perhaps this has something to do with the leather mask he has in his office. So it went a little something like this.”

(Hitchin is sitting on the couch, and the doctor in the chair across from him.)

Doctor: Are you ready, John?

Hitchin: I guess…let’s do this…

Doctor: Scottywood…

Hitchin: Ex-owner of NGW.

Doctor: Good…now…

Hitchin: He is also winless when he has been in the same ring as me. For 3 years, my company, HitchBomb Industries, had been trying to purchase NGW right out from under his nose…and almost did it too. NGW had its highest ratings when I was in charge…and look what happened when they took the World Title off of me…they had to close down…sad really.

Doctor: …are you done yet?

Hitchin: Actually no…because that son of a bitch stripped me of not one…not two…but 3 titles that I never lost! THREE! Setting records for each title. Of course there was a title I was stripped of rightfully, but hey, not much you can do in an automotive accident now is there?

Doctor: I guess not…that was a tough time. Next…Rodney Phoenix.

Hitchin: For some reason, I am getting a Dennis Rodman image in my head. He doesn’t wrestle in a wedding dress does he? Because if he does, maybe I will be rethinking this whole WWA thing, because that is just too wacky for me.

Doctor: I don’t think he does. That has got to be against the rules somewhere…let’s just never mind this name association, ok?

Hitchin: No, no, no! You wanted to do this. You thought that it would help me out some, so we are going to keep at it…capeche?

(The doctor rolls his eyes as he puts his books away. Looking up at the clock, he throws a book at it, destroying it.)

Doctor: Oh look, time is up.

Hitchin: What? I swear I just looked at that clock, that you for no reason destroyed, it said I had about 45 minutes left.

Doctor: Nope! Nope! Let’s go, get outta here!

“And just like that, my session was over. Just flew right over my head…man, what the hell was I thinking. Doctors…UH…what are they good for? Absolutely nothing, but taking my damn money. Actually, I can’t believe that I just said that…my words are becoming lamer and lamer…but people don’t really pay attention to that. After all, I AM John “Aron” Hitchin…the mutha eff’n King of Rock and Roll. And no matter what anyone says…I’m the King, and always will be.

No King would be complete without his band of troops…Elvis had his Memphis Mafia…perhaps I will need my own little posse. To do that…I would need a leader…someone to lead these people, and to keep their morale up. I think I know just the person…he’ll say yes…I know it!”

Dallas Reeves: No.

Hitchin: WHAT?!

Reeves: I am not changing my name to Diamond Joe…no, it ain’t happening. You’ve convinced me to do some pretty crazy things during our friendship, but now I think you really do need some help. Professional help at that too, my friend.

Hitchin: I went and saw Strangelove already. He broke some clock, and told me that I was crazy. I saw a leather mask, something about loving a bomb, and black basketball players wrestling in wedding dresses.

Reeves: John…what the hell are you talking about? Have you been drinking?

Hitchin: A little…come on, why won’t you do it? You don’t even have to take the name Joe…just be “Diamond” Dallas Reeves…come on, what do you say? I need someone that I can trust, to gather some troops and roll into Meltdown with me, and help me win the battle royal.

Reeves: No.

“And just like that…I was told how it was going to be. I am going to have to look elsewhere for the leader of my band of…uh…my band of posse…no…just…my…nevermind. Meltdown…I’m the biggest guy in that damn ring, and I’ll be damned if some skinny punk that weighs half my weight is going to be the driving force for the fans in this damn thing. John Hitchin is in WWA to stay, and this is just the beginning. If you think you can truly…honestly stop this freight train…then just get in the way, and see what happens. First the battle royal…then the Extreme title…Shaman…start your healing, because I am coming for you next.”