(The camera fades in to a small, rather trashed apartment. The camera searches for its target and eventually finds it. Eddie van Dorn, lying on his back amid the wreckage, and arm crossed over his eyes. The cameraman nudges the young man with his foot. Eddie shivers on the floor as he snorts awake, moving his arm and staring up at the camera through half-lidded eyes.)

EVD: Whaya want?

Cameraman: I was sent to get your views on the upcoming Independence Day Rumble.

EVD: Mmm... fine...

(Eddie pulls himself slowly to his feet, smacking his lips.)

EVD: But first, if you don't mind, I should probably get some water or something. I'll be right back...

(Eddie goes into the next room as the camera looks around the room, taking in the totalled surroundings. Eddie returns, drinking from a bottle of water. He wipes his mouth on his shirt sleeve.)

EVD: There, much better. Now what, exactly, do you expect me to say here today? I suppose you want me to talk about how I actually NEED to be involved in the Rumble since I lost the Bourbon Street Brawl to Chance, don't you?

Cameraman: Well, no... but is that what happened to this place? Have you been having fits about coming up second yet again this year?

EVD: Huh? Nah, I just haven't cleaned up yet since my birthday get-together three weeks ago. Come to think of it, this place doesn't look much worse than it normally does. At least the people I hang around with respect my possessions.

(Eddie sits on a broken-down sofa in the center of the room and takes another drink of water.)

EVD: But I can see how you might think that. I have a history of venting frustration when things don't go my way. However, there are two things you must remember... first, is that I have another chance Sunday night, one I'm going to take extremely seriously. Well, naturally... I am the Extreme Revolutionary, after all. And the second thing you must remember is this... Chance is not an enemy of mine. Nor is he someone I perceive as being beneath me. Rather, he is a very talented part of the roster, someone I have formed an alliance with by way of the Youth United/X-Corp treaty, and the only person here who is smaller than I am. I have to respect that. Especially after what he did Monday. I was hoping I could get the drop on him by appealing to his love of gambling, but he saw through that, and then ended up doing a triple somersault onto me, getting the victory for himself. Good for you, Chance. I'm very happy for you. Me, however...

(Eddie pours a little water into his hand and splashes it under his eyes. He then pretends to be crying.)

EVD: I'm very disappointed in myself... it may have been your time Monday night, but when's my time? *sob* When is MY time, Chance? You've seen me play the part of the bridesmaid at big events for the past two years... all of you have! *sob* When do I get to be the bride? Don't I deserve good things? *sob, sniffle* Runner-up of last year's Bourbon Street Brawl... runner-up of last year's Independence Day Rumble... runner-up of THIS year's Bourbon Street Brawl!

(Eddie sucks his lower lip in and steadies himself, before staring at the camera with those steel-grey eyes.)

EVD: Well I've HAD IT! No more will second-best be good enough for me! Sunday night, I will become the bride!

Cameraman: You sure you don't want to rephrase that?

EVD: Sunday night, I WILL be the best! The title shot at Labor Day Brawl is going to be mine! Mine! For the love of all that is holy, mine! And as God as my witness, I shall never be ignored again!

Cameraman: Yeah, nice speech. Why am I reminded of Wayne's World?

EVD: Because that's where I got the notion that this was a good idea.

Cameraman: Clearly.

EVD: Still, everything I said was meant. Naturally, I'm not REALLY going to get all weepy about it if I get eliminated, but that's beside the point. I really have gotten tired of coming in second so many times. It's going to stop Sunday night. If I have to toss out any of my running mates to make it stop, then so be it. Sunday is going to be my night. And even if it isn't... I'm still going to make a tremendous impact. One way or another, you will all stand up and pay attention to me again.

Cameraman: Any people in particular that you want to serve warning to?

EVD: Not really. Anyone and everyone that gets in my way will be sent out by the end of the match. But if you really think I should...

(Eddie pulls an obviously prepared speech out of his hip pocket.)

EVD: First, to Joey K. How did you like our little altercations in New Orleans? I really hope you caught the message behind that. Honestly, I'll never understand how you were able to carry that persona on for so long without going completely 'round the bend... oh, wait. Never mind.

To Grunge, Nick Adams, Mal and Dave... I want to wish the four of you the best of luck. I'm going to do all I can to make sure that one of us... hopefully me... comes out on top.

Chance... you're a greedy little bitch, you know that? *chuckle* But I suppose that in your favorite pasttime, it's very hard to quite while you're ahead, because you always think you'll be able to get still more. That's going to really bite you in the ass Sunday night, because I guarantee that you're going to be a prime target for almost every other person in that ring. I'd wish you luck, too, but that would be rather redundant in your case.

The Cell and Shaman... if the three of you think your size is going to save you in this match... size is never a match for speed and smarts. You'll discover that real quick.

Psycho, Tweak, Starr, and any other competitor who has only been here a few months... I should wish you luck as well, as you're in the same position I was two years ago. But... well... wishing you luck would indicate that I wasn't intending to throw you out as well. Still, I hope you can do well enough... get yourselves noticed, and whatnot.

Jimmi Zion... my old rival. Hopefully you can prove to the bigger guys as much as Chance and I can just how meaningless size and strength is without talent.

To Wes Sanders, myZery, Se7en, Enigma, and anyone else I'm forgetting... hey, you're in the match, too. Good for you.

(Eddie crumples the paper up and throws it behind him over his shoulder.)

EVD: Anything else, or can I go back to sleep.

Cameraman: Well, you could always...

(Before the cameraman can say anything, Eddie begins splashing him with water from the water bottle.)

Cameraman: What the...? Ack! Pbtthhhh!

EVD: Out! Out! The power of Christ compels you! Leave this place at once!

(The cameraman, rightfully fearing that Eddie has lost his loose grip on sanity, quickly buggers off and fades to black.)