(We open up in the middle of the night, on a long, long road. It appears to begin at the top of a very big hill, and ends where we appear to lie. As we lie here, we can see a figure, very faint, backlit by the crescent moon. From this distance, we can only guess as to who it is, but the glint of gold around his waist, and the crop of spiky hair, we can take a pretty good guess.)

Kash: Walking at this time of night certainly helps clear the brain, gets oxygen flowing. Even though the air in this part of the world is terrible, even at night, somehow the air at night tastes fresher.

(The figure begins to slowly walk down the hill, slowly ambling, like a man with too much time on his hand.)

Kash: I am a fan of the night, in case you hadn’t guessed. The night has so much more energy, so much more vibrancy that the daytime. Now for those of you who think I am mad, try taking a walk in the middle of the night, when the fresh air permeates you and the darkness envelops you, you will agree.

(There is a slightly distorted feel to the voice, as the visuals and audio appear to be coming from two different sources. The figure is strolling towards us, and appears to have a laxid … lacksi … casual look about him.)

Kash: There’s something calming about the night, and whilst most people would be very uneasy walking through the sort of neighbourhoods I walk through, but I prefer walking here, now, than during the daytime, call me a fool, call me strange, I don’t really care.

(The figure slowly, very slowly indeed, gets closer to us.)

Kash: Some people call me weird, some people call me a freak … actually, everyone calls me a freak, even my friends, and I take it as a compliment really.

(What?)

Kash: You see, I have a real issue with label culture. I see it all the time, groups of people walking around with exactly the same clothes, exactly the same brands, hanging as a group. Some of these little assholes think they belong to another race, all because of the clothes they wear!

(A point well taken. The figure is walking closer to us, taking a piece of twig from a tree and playing with it.)

Kash: Anyway, my point, these kids claim to be something they aren’t. They think they are something hip, something cool, something “phat”. Anyway, these guys get on my nerves, people who claim to be something they aren’t and act as though their world is only the right way. Which brings us so nicely to the subject of my little diatribe.

(As if we can’t guess who he is talking about. The man who is his opponent at Independence Day Rumble … )

Kash: Tracer Bullet. The man of a thousand errors. Lets take a quick look at one of your recent Insiders. Firstly, really shitty facial hair? Its called a beard, nothing more, just because it blends into blond hair, doesn’t make it crappy. Id like to see your reports as a private detective … the man was tall, ugly, and he had some shitty facial hair. Wow, that would have been good.

(The figure walks further down the hill, pausing to allow a man walking his dog to pass him, and then continues. Surprisingly, the man walking his dog doesn’t bat an eyelid at the strange man walking down the road, which must be the effect of the night.)

Kash: Now let me take a look at your analysis of my faith. Now, you seem to think that Wicca and Voodoo are total polar opposites. That one cannot possibly co-exist with the other. Well, Bullet, you are wrong. For one, I have never claimed to practice voodoo. I use figures, yes, but I never claim to be a voodoo practitioner. I use those figures for the very simple reason, that an effigy of a real person is a good, symbolic gesture. For your information, if you want to discuss voodoo and the black arts, I can travel that road as well. I am a Wiccan, first and foremost, but I believe in, and practice, more forms of the occult than you can ever imagine. Just test me one of these days Bullet, Ill make you bleed from another continent.

(The figure stops, pauses and walks on, with a more serious lilt to his step.)

Kash: Now lets take a look at the Kashmission. Now, you claim that you didn’t tap out. Well, I have one word to say to you. Crap. You have never submitted in your career? You have, to me. You claim that you weren’t tapping? There is not a person in the WWA who can break the Kashmission, once locked in, even yours and Denrol’s antiquated asses combined couldn’t break the Kashmission. It was banned from judo for a specific reason, its dangerous, as am I.

(The figure comes closer to us down the hill, almost within reaching distance now.)

Kash: You claim that I am mired in the past, you claim that I am obsessed with your past, well, I should be. A man is shaped by his past, a man is shaped by what has gone before. My life was shaped by the events of my life, as were yours. Also, my career was shaped by the events that have gone before. I only entered the Birthday Brawl as the number one contender to the TV title. I was only in that position because I had a mini hatred going against Steve Edmunds … good lord, what was I doing. I only had a hatred with him going because he assaulted Wallace Coleman, and Coleman was scouting me. Ok, no all those events put me in the match, and made me the WWA wrestler I am now. And now, we look at you. You see, by learning about your past, I learn about you, and I have learned a great deal. I have learned enough to beat you, pure and simple., so maybe my anal obsession with your history is worth it, yes?

(The figure reaches the camera, and under the glow of the moonlight, we see the glint of psychological glee in the mans eye.)

Kash: IDR is coming, and you had better watch out. You are not as smart as you think you are and I aim to show the world what an idiot you are. Prepare to lose Tracer, because you have no idea how to win.