'The trouble with referees is......they just ain't excellent!'

**December 25th.....the birth of Christ......one of 2 days in a persons year where they get to open presents...the food....by God the food at Christmas is wonderful, unbutton your pants and let it all hang out after swallowing down that wonderful lushious Christmas dinner with all the trimmings......Our scene advents upon number 95 Hampden Close, in Los Angeles. Mansion to the WWA US Champion 'Pure Excellence' Andy McMirra. Pretty Christmas lights give the outside of the home a lovely seasonal of Goodwill feeling. Venturing inside the house, we can see a Thomas the Tank Engine train set travelling around the living room floor, going through tunnels and stopping at Stations, it looks really exciting, for an 8 year old and indeed an 8 year old is present, Lily McMirra can be seen, sitting in one of the black leather arms chairs, tapping away at her brand new Nintendo DS Lite in pink. As the Thomas train set continues its journey around the living room, Lily pauses her game and looks up.

"UNCLE TAXI! Thomas is doing my head in! Either take it somewhere else or switch it off!"

**Oh what a f***ing surprise. McMirra's weirdo sidekick Taxi is the one who wanted Thomas for Christmas. Taxi comes running through from the kitchen, dressed in a knitted Father Christmas jumper and Mince Pie leftovers around his chops.

"That's not very nice Lily, Thomas is just trying to go places."

**Taxi reaches down and turns Thomas off, turning around to Lily.

"Ok there, he's off, can I have a go on Mario now?"

**Lily shakes her head without looking up from her screen.

"Nope, I'm nearly past King Kooper"

**Taxi puts his hands on his hips looking majorly pi**ed off.

"BOSS!!!! BOSS!!!! TELL HER!"

**As Taxi shouts like a 10 year old, his Boss comes walking calmly into the room, dressed in a black and white all silk robe having just got out of the shower, he has a towel around his neck and his black hair is as always slicked back neatly.

"What's all the shouting about, hey nice jumper Tax, you look nearly as manly as Paul Sterling."

**Lily laughs as Taxi looks down at his jumper.

"Hey, my Mom made me this. Anyways Boss I just had a call from the office, apparantly your gonna be refereeing at Total Meltdown."

**McMirra stops and has a puzzled look on his face for a bit, before smiling and taking a seat on the arm of the chair Lily is sitting on.

"Referee eh? The people will be pleased with that, it means they get to see more of the US Champ, they are going to absolutely love my celebration party you know."

"I know Boss, I can't wait either."

**McMirra stands up and walks towards the coal fire, burning gracefully, warming the house right through. If he had a pipe he would look like Scrooge but his good looks, charm and wit make him so, so far from that....

"At the end of the day Taxi my man, being a referee doesn't really bother me, you see I knew it was coming, it's Mighty Joe vs Azrael with the winner being the number one contender for my US Championship. I got a lot of respect for Joe, you know? He's been through a lot and he deserves his shot. Azrael? Yeah he's a bad cat and yeah it ain't no lie that we don't like each other but that don't mean I'm gonna be biased when refereeing the match, it will be what it always is with 'Pure Excellence' Andy McMirra, pure entertainment!"

"I know what your saying Boss, I'm a bit confused though, this group, The Damned , they bother you?"

**McMirra looks at Taxi like he has just had sex with a pitbull.

"What is this Taxi? An interview? You looking for Wally Coleman's job? Ha Ha, I'm not quite sure who The Damned are...who are they?"

**As McMirra obviously spits out utter sarcasm, he reaches for the TV remote and turns on the 50 Inch Plasma screen sitting neatly in the corner of the room, as the picture sharpens The Village Peoples classic 'YMCA' can be seen on one of the old Music Channels. McMirra smiles as Taxi looks at his Boss as if he has lost the plot.

"Ah The Damned, there they are, look at them, lovely aren't they."

**Taxi again looks puzzled, Lily continues playing on her DS.

"That's the Village People Boss"

**McMirra rolls his eyes.

"I know Taxi I know, but does 4 queers dressed up not remind you of The Damned? I mean c'mon. Who do these guys think they are? No one scares 'Pure Excellence' Andy McMirra, and after what The Damned did to Dave Harley I'm beginning to wonder if I should step in and lend a hand? It's the right thing to do yeh?"

**Lily looks up from her DS.

"Yeah! Kick their asses Dad!"

**Taxi has an upset look on his face.

"But Boss, you have enough on your plate, you're going to have to defend the US title at some point. You really think you can handle The Damned as well?"

**McMirra walks over to Taxi and puts his hand on his shoulder in a consoling manor.

"Taxi, I'm 'Pure Excellence' Andy McMirra, hero to wrestling masses worldwide and I might add, one helluva showman to boot. I can handle, absolutely anything."

**As McMirra turns and faces the window, snow begins to fall outside, gently settling on the large open garden, beautifully surrounding the McMirra mansion. As McMirra stares outside, suddenly the door to the living room bursts open and Taxi's younger cousin Loretta barges into the room, she is around 200lbs, make up is splattered all over her face and she looks like the back end of a Dogs ass.

"Lee! Lee! Where are you Merry Christmas to my big cousin, oh......"

**Loretta suddenly stops at the sight of the US Champ.

"Oh.....Andy.....how you doing..."

**Loretta winks at Andy, she has leftover Christmas lunch on one of her many chins as she eyes McMirra up and down, McMirra looks a bit puzzled, confused and at the most a bit scared! Taxi gets up and walks over to Loretta.

"Loretta, cuz, how are....."

**Loretta is fixated on McMirra and slams her black handbag into Taxi's chest, making her way slowly and seductively (if you can call it that) towards McMirra.

"You know I have misteltoe in my pocket Andy, maybe I should get it out and hold it up..."

**McMirra begins edging away cautiously, Taxi begins sniggering.

"Thought you could handle everything Boss!?"

**McMirra turns around with a nervous look on his face.

"Now Can You....Justify That!?"