"ARGH! Damnit Tim!!!"

(Alex Knight pulls his hand back fast, as a virtual fountain of boiling water cascades over the side of the hot pan and onto the floor, as Tim Davies*Mr.Ineptitude* drops releases it from his flimsy grasp. Alex goes straight into autopilot, throwing his hand straight under the cold tap and let’s it steam as the cold water rushes over his skin. With the hand getting a cooling off, Alex draws his attention back to Tim, who is curled up on his kitchen floor, trying to mop up the spilt water with a hanky. His eyes roll upwards in a puppy dog style, as Alex’s roll downwards in a ‘goddamnityouburntmyhand’ style.)

AK: "What kind of an IDIOT pours boiling water out of a pan, into the sink, whilst someone else i.e. ME! is busy washing up, in said sink?!?!?!"

TD: *Takes a deep gulp of air* Erm…someone who is very sorry?

AK: "Gah, honestly Tim."

TD: "I’m sorry, Alex, i just can’t concentrate since Fuel threatened to burn you."

AK: "What?!"

(Alex instinctively brings his right hand forward to emphasise his disbelief but as the burning sensation kicks in, he quickly puts it back under the cold tap.)

AK: "Tim, don’t even worry about it. The only thing that is and HAS burnt me, is you and your clumsiness. Despite his denial he is just another pyromaniac, just as i am ‘just’ another devilishly skilful and technical wrestler. It’s no bad thing that he has a hobby just so long as no-one gets hurt. I’d much rather have him playing with fire than you, Tim. Now hand me that tea-towel and get me some of those peas from your freezer."

(He pulls his hand from under the tap and shakes it dry, running his fingers over the burnt area just to make sure there is no scarring, of which there is not. As Tim hands Alex the frozen peas, wrapped inside the tea-towel, he holds them over the burnt hand. Tim turns the cooker hob off and the two ‘chums’ head into the front room.)

TD: "It’s a damn shame *Clicking his fingers* my boiled eggs go down a treat."

AK: "Well forget it, i’m having you handle a pan of boiling water ever again."

TD: "Meh. They would have been EGGcellent, nevertheless."

AK: *Glare*

TD: "EGGceptional?"

AK: *Raised eyebrow*

TD: "I was gonna serve you up some of my special alEGG’s?!"

AK: "If there is one thing you should have picked up whilst watching Fuel vocally vomit all over the airwaves, is that a joke ceases to become a joke when it is repeated over and over and over again."

TD: "You mean EGGcessiveness?"

AK: "Yes. *Double taking on the pun* Shush, Tim. Just shush, i’m talking to Fuel now."

(Leaning back on the couch, nudging Tim out of shot and inadvertently crashing to the wood finished floor. As Tim’s flaying hand is swatted from the couch arm, Alex looks straight down the camera lens…that has always been there…of course.)

AK: "Alex Wright. Ha……ha……ha. How humorous, how original and how intellectual you truly are Fuel. Surely you must be the first to associate me with that man i have never meet in my life?! Surely you must be the sharpest of all the comedians in WWA?! Surely you must realise the idiosyncrasy when you mock my name? Surely but doubtful.

Doubtful because you clearly haven’t got enough time to think before you speak, thanks to your life consuming hobby/obsession that accompanies your fascination with all things fiery. If you had taken a second to think, you might have come to the conclusion that intimidation doesn’t affect me. Lighting crap whilst threatening me doesn’t work, it doesn’t scare me and my boots certainly do not shake. You could have saved yourself a lot of time and you could have avoided revealing little tiny bits of your strategy to me.

But i am a giving man, fuel, so in turn i will unravel my strategy to you…i will win and i will win but countering and continuing to attack your limbs until you have no choice but to admit defeat. Sure, its not exactly sophisticated but as you will soon see err feel, it will be effective."

(The frozen peas start to drop from Alex’s hand, so he takes them out of the tea-towel, puts them on his lap and then places his burnt hand atop of it. Tim flicks through the DVD full of Insider highlights, that he had one of his geeky techie mates set-up.)

TD: "Alex. You seen Matt Keith’s latest promo yet?"

AK: "Yeah, yeah, i checked it out last night. Your mate Scotty? dropped a copy round my place.

TD: "Oh." *Trying to think of another opener* "So, what do you make of it? People are starting to suggest he has the upper hand over you."

AK: "Meh, let the ‘people’ think what they want, I couldn’t care less. One day Matt Keith is the future the next day it’s Chuckster and the next day it’s Rev. Tweak.

TD: "Tweak was sacked."

AK: "Case and point. Aside from the fact that Matt is just jealous that i got through to the second round of the IC tournament, he is just trying to start something, a feud perhaps, for his own personal gain. I have nothing to gain by associating myself with the "innovator of coolness" but HE has something to gain by associating himself with "the cynical clinical and over-critical bastard" Alex Knight.

TD: "That’s catchy. Not as catchy as ‘NAI’ but catchy nevertheless"

AK: "Speaking of, what the hell is up with Nick Adams? Barely five minutes had past after my identity crisis was over and all of a sudden he thinks he too needs a identity makeover."

TD: "You’re a leader, Alex. Simple as."

AK: "Be that as it may, it’s pretty weak of Nick. He’s just lucky, just as Shaman is, that he is on the inferior promotion - Meltdown. Despite Fuel’s accusations i wouldn’t hesitate to take him and Shaman on, just as i will not hesitate to take on AND defeat Fuel, Monday."

TD: "True *Bing*, True *Bing.*"

AK: "Ah, i feel a lot better for that."

TD: "Does that mean?"

(Alex picks up the frozen peas from his lap, with his now chilled hand and makes his way into the kitchen, with Tim Davies in tow.)

AK: "Yes it does. Bring on those alEGG’s, i’m hungry."

TD: "SupercalifragilisticEGGpialidocious!"

AK: *Sigh* "I’ll be in the front room."

(As Tim jumps around the kitchen, pulling pans down from all directions and kitchen utensils from every cupboard, Alex heads into the front room and back to reading some old school WWA magazine’s, notably an Ian Tense cover edition. As i quote a certain Meltdown superstars ‘grungy’ narrator we begin to…)

FADE OUT