(We begin on a crowded beach. Scores of people frolic in the sun, a couple of babes sunbathe in their skimpy bikinis, a group of college boys drink beer and a group of people play beach volleyball. We pan across to a nerdy looking fellow who is reading poetry to his girlfriend.)

Nerd: Shall I compare thee to a summers day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Strong…

(Suddenly a pile of sand is kicked in the mans face by none other than Tommy Starr who is walking by in a black Devils Own muscle shirt and a pair of blue Speedo briefs. The camera zooms in on him as the nerd coughs and splutters in the background.)

Starr: What a couplet idiots! Hah! It occurred to me during my beauty sleep the other night that summer is officially over! What a shame. Tommy Starr loves nothing more than showing off his hot and totally bodacious bod on the beach for all the hot mamas out there.

(Starr stops for a moment to remove his custom silver tinted sunglasses and admire himself in their reflection.)

Starr: Good lordy I am looking like a SuperSTARR! So I thought I better get some of the last good rays of sun on my flesh, you know, so I can look good this Sunday. When I stand atop the ramp, holding the WWA TV Title aloft, all you peons boo me, and all the camera flashes illuminate my skin, I want it to be as bronzed as possible.

(Starr puts his sunglasses back on and runs his hands over his close cropped bleach blonde hair.)

Starr: You know, when you think about it, Sniper is a bit like summertime. Stinky, sweaty, and most importantly, over with. Just like your TV Title reign will be this Sunday when I hit my Shooting STARR Press on you from the top of the steel cage.

(Starr smiles at the point he has made and begins to strut along the beach, stepping in a few sandcastles along the way.)

Starr: So that brings me to you, Shame-man, the Native American dumb-a$$. You run your mouth about how you are going to make me famous. That doesn’t even make sense. First of all...

(Starr squats down next to a couple of ladies who are sunbathing in their bikinis. They look up at him, more annoyed than anything.)

Starr: I’m freaking Tommy Starr! I’m already famous! I’m already a superSTARR! Heck, even these broads have a bit of a superSTARR in them!

Ladies: No we don’t!

Starr: Well do you want to? (flashes a grin as he stands back up) Secondly, Shaman, for you to make me famous, you’d have to be famous yourself.

But you’re not. You suck! Just how much, everyone will find out this Sunday when I lock you in the Stage Fright Texas Cloverleaf! If you were a season, you would have to be the Fall. That is the fall of someone who was once interesting, but is now a shell of his former crappy self.

I only wish you stayed in that cabin you burned down last week. Oh well, your loss.

Speaking of loss, that leaves me to Liam Jenson. I don’t have as much of a problem with this guy as I do with Cold Brain Enterprises, but still, he better watch out. If he gets in between me and the TV Title, he will go down.

He will be Starr Struck. When I am done, his body will be so cold, you will think it was Winter!

(The camera zooms in on Starrs face as he smiles his smug smile.)

Starr: WWA, you are looking at the next TV Champion. Because Tommy Starr is four seasons in one day!

Jensen…

Shaman…

Sniper…

This Sunday – Get Ready For The STARR Treatment!

WWA TV TITLE
FOUR WAY CAGE MATCH

DEVILS OWN
DEAL WITH IT!