Mustang Charlie Strategy

-Various underhanded kicks and punches (mostly "nut shots" as he calls them)

-Back rake

-Headbutt

-Fist drop

-Russian leg sweep

-Leg sweep faceslam

-Sidewalk slam

-Ace Crusher

-Electric chair drop

-Savate kick

-Snap mare

-Snap suplex

-Leg drop

-Neckbreaker

-Running high knee

-Lariat

-Small package

-Knee clip shoulderblock

-Belly-to-belly

-Pulling piledriver

-Belly-to-back suplex

-Drop toe-hold

-Abdominal stretch

-Pumphandle slam

-Biting

-Chinlock

-Sunset flip

-Knee drop

-Big boot

Signature move

Charlie Horse (Bridging single-leg crab)

Top Rope Flying Bulldog

(An acoustic ukelele version of "Unstable" by jim Johnston plays, and the crowd begins to go wild.)

Jack: It the man who won't sell for old age!

Gary Trudeau: On his way to the ring, from South-West Texas, weighing 244 pounds, and just about that many years-old, MUSTAG CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARLE!!

(Charlie walks down to the ring, hitching up his pants and yelling at fans to sit down and mind their own business. For a moment it looks like he's forgotten why he's there, but then he snaps out of it and runs to the ring and slides under the bottom rope.)

Fat Tony: 1975 called, they want their gimmick back.

Charlie is all out, non-stop offense. He isn't much for the ground game, and he isn't very fast, but he's been booting wrestlers' backsides since before a lot of his opponents were born.

What he lacks in skill, finesse, youth, speed, power or common sense, he makes up for in general crazy.

His chief tactic is to focus on one part of his opponent, and pound and grind on it until he can hits either his finisher or signature submission hold.

(Charlie sends his opponent to the ropes, and on the rebound Charlie drops him throat-first across the bottom rope with a drop toe-hold.)

Fat Tony: Uh-oh...

(Mustang Charlie grabs the top rope, slingshots over and lands a leg across his opponent's neck on the outside ring apron.)

Fat Tony: Yeah, that'll sting tomorrow.

Jack: If he isn't paralyzed...

(Mustang Charlie stands beside his opponent and hits him with a quick leg sweep facebuster.)

Fat Tony: No! Look out!

(Charlie rolls with the momentum of the move, grabbing his opponent's left leg as he does so.)

Jack: Charlie Horse! CHARLIE HORSE!

(Mustang Charlie still hangs onto the leg, and with his opponent facedown, he flips over into a bridged single-leg crab.)

Jack: He's crippled God-knows how many people with this!

(Charlie pokes his opponent in the eye. He then scolds the ref for not warning him not to do that.)

Fat Tony: What's the senile idiot doing?

(the ref looks confused, so Charlie punches his blinded opponent with closed fist. The ref still doesn't react, so Charlie really starts yelling at him to "Do yer goddamned job, zebra!")

Jack: I guess Charlie's a stickler for tradition.

(Finally Mustang Charlie kicks his opponent in the crotch, and falls over in crumpled heap. Finally the ref warns Charlie that this continued behaviour will get him DQ'd. Charlie nods approvingly.)

Fat Tony: Idiot.

When getting beat upon, Charlie tends to comically over-sell, acting punch drunk and the like.

When getting second, he tends to hop around a lot.