We see a long black limo pull up outside the arena. As the driver opens the door we see plumes of smoke rising from inside

Fat Tony: Whooa! The limo is on fire!
Jimmy: Erm, looks kinda like cigarette smoke to me Tony

Out of the open door, the two huge frames of Deimos and Phobos appear, both dressed in smart black suits, ray bans and both smoking a fine cuban cigar each. Finally, comes Damian Thorne, also clad in black, also smoking. The four bump knuckles before heading off towards the arena. As the leave, a coughing Lady Stephanie sticks her head out of the door. The clearly peverted cameraman tries to get an upskirty shot of something, but gets busted by her

Lady Steph: Get lost pervert! (shouting after Damian) Damian, don't forget you have an urgent meeting with Mr Warr......Damian? Sh*t!
Fat Tony: HoP in the house, and looking like they mean business
Jimmy: I feel sorry for that woman, I really do
Fat Tony: I'll tell Damian you said that
Jimmy: (mimicking Tony in a high voice) I'll tell Damian you said that

A full-figure shot of WWA President Matthew Warr, standing center ring, appears on the screen. A smile drifts across his face as the inimitable sounds of AC/DC’s Back in Black begin.

The scene changes suddenly to the determined glare of Ian Tense, holding his World Title belt. Just as suddenly, Denrol gives Jackson Kraven a Stunner on the top of the WWATron.

Tracer Bullet delivers his famous move, Pounding the Pavement, on Ian Tense. Chance nails Enigma in the corner with his Fortune’s Favored finisher. Ekosyde gives Grunge the Eko-Lizer onto the Cruiserweight Champion belt.

Grunge, Rick Venom, and Eddie Van Dorn stand in a half-circle, and raise their hands to the center in the symbol of Youth United. Grunge drives Tracer Bullet to the mat with the Lawbreaker. Rick Venom puts Ekosyde down with a Tombstone Piledriver onto the concrete floor of Alcatraz. Eddie Van Dorn mercilessly batters Damian Thorne with a snow shovel, over and over again.

The members of Havoc, Phobos and Deimos, deliver the War Machine to Mighty Joe on the steel ramp. Dave Harley smacks Mal Somers in the face with a steel chair. Wes Sanders leaps from the stage into a beautiful 450 Splash on Justin Bourne.

Kash locks in the Kashmission on Jim Black. Mighty Joe Keane jumps over the ropes and slams Kash down hard with a modified sunset flip. Jackson Kraven sends Denrol over the top rope with a massive running powerbomb, bouncing the Canadian’s head and neck from the concrete. As Deimos holds a chair, Venny LeTrav hits his trademarked Lowering the Boom. Mac “Truck” Maloy hits a Double Underhook Powerbomb on Mal Somers.

Michael Stryfe drops Wes Sanders with a big boot to the face. Simon Mackinaw and Kenneth Tenn, the team called Mack Tenn, simultaneously kick Ace Murdoch in the midsection. Ian Tense uses a ladder to spear Jackson Kraven off of the WWATron and to the tables far below.

Damian Thorne stands menacingly, flanked by the members of his House of Pain, Shane Dorian, Axel Brundage, and Aaron Alongi.
Shane Dorian: drops Nick Adams to the mat with the Pretty Noose. Damian Thorne destroys a bloodied and battered Randy Cross with the vicious Legend Killer. Aaron Alongi and Axel Brundage, The Human Condition, tear apart the Minnesota Wrecking Crew.

Enigma slams a baseball bat into the back of Chance’s head on Alcatraz. Troy Walcott lands the high-flying Walcottastrophe finisher on Jim Black. Commissioner Cruz struts to the ring with a cigar.

The American Luchadores, Venny LeTrav and Justin Bourne, double-suplex Deimos onto a prone Aaron Alongi. Mal Somers hits the Hostile Takeover from the top rope onto Dave Harley. Christyan Payne Bulldogs Venny LeTrav.

The Texas Longhorns lock in the Lonestar Stretch on Simon Mackinaw. Nicholas Adams hits his finisher, The Rainfall, on Shane Dorian. Shaman breaks a concrete block over the head of Magician. Again, the screen shows us Ian Tense, with his World Title. Then Kash, the sun tattoo on his right shoulder clearly visible, with his US Title. The American Luchadores, smiling broadly, with the Tag Team Titles. Chance, with his ever-present coin toss, holds the Extreme Title. Ekosyde stands with his Cruiserweight Title. Mal Somers, chair in one hand, holds his Rookie Title smugly.

WWA

Out of the sight

WWA Monday Night Meltdown
LIVE! From The Target Center
Minneapolis, MN
Monday, 17th March 2003

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

As the camera pans around the arena, the fans are electric. A short March madness promo video plays on the Tron. The standing ovation is deafening as we cut to the announcers for the evening, Jimmy Rose, and Anthony Valentino

Fat Tony: WELCOME TO MELTDOWN!
Jimmy: WE ARE LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AWAY FROM MARCH MADNESS, THE SIXTH EDITION, AND WITH SUCH A HOT LINEUP FOR IT, YOU CAN BE SURE THAT TONIGHT WILL BE A MASSIVE WARM UP TO THE SHOW!

Fat Tony picks at his ears as the noise dies down

Fat Tony: Think you can stop shouting now?
Jimmy: We have Venny vs Grunge, Non Title, Somers vs the returning EDDIE VAN DORN. Shrapnel against Deimos, Vik Ventressa vs Denrol, and a Main Event yet to be determined, and to top it all off, We have Jackson kraven, kash, Ian Tense and Damian Thorne, ALL booked to be in attendance!
Fat Tony: But Kraven was arrested last week? Last I heard he was still banged up!
Jimmy: Who knows Tony, who knows.

We cut backstage to the X-Corp Locker room.

Harley: Not long to go now Chairboy! Our chance to make the big time. Win this match, and we are part of Youth United. A force to be reckoned with. Feared by all who cross us. If you lose, we are back on our own. Not that Im putting any pressure on you!
Somers: I appreciate that Dave. I know what I have to do.
Harley: Thats good. Altough I do feel you cheated in our Hungry Hungry Hippo tiebreaker. Next time I'm going to get a referee to adjudicate.
Somers: (pointing to the belt over his shoulder) What about Rookie? He's pretty unbiased.
Harley: He's a FREAKING belt! I mean ITS! Its a FREAKING belt.
Somers: What about Jill then?
Harley: Uh Mal...she's not a belt. She is a Human Being. Are you sure you are OK?
Somers: (rolling eyes) You idiot. I know that. I meant why dont we get her to adjudicate.
Harley: What would she know about Hungry Hippos. Its a serious business, buddy.
Somers: Well so's winning this match. Its about time for us to warm up the Extreme Mobile.
Harley: Well what are we waiting for!

Cut back to announcers

Fat Tony: Somers and harley as... colourful..... as ever....
Jimmy: Are you kidding? They are great! Check this out!

Jimmy starts unbuttoning his shirt...

Fat Tony: For the love of god, no....

...To reveal an X-Corp shirt

Jimmy: I'm an X-Corp mark!
Fat Tony: (Shudders) Oh please...

The lights go dead for a few seconds and soon a pulsating techno beat begins to erupt from the PA orange and white lights illuminate the ring area. The lights turn into pulsating strobes as a fast guitar blazes into life with synth drums slowly following. The drums pound into a steadier beat, joining the synth as a figure steps out onto the stage, looking out around the arena. As the voice of KMFDM's very own Sascha K. fills the arena

Shockwave!
Massive attack!

Atomic Blast, The Son of a Gun is back!

Apocalypse Now! Walls Aflame.

The lyrics continue as The "Ragin Cajun" Venny LeTrav walks down to the ramp in his shiny orange, black and silver tights, flashing the Doublehorn and yelling out at the audience as he yells out with the lyrics. He strolls down to the ring, looking in and hops up onto the apron, Lesnar-style.

Forged from steel, iron will.
Sh*t for brains, born to kill.

Watch now! Son of a Gun!
Superhero, Number one!

Watch now! Son of a Gun!
Superhero, Number one!

Venny mounts the buckle, both arms up and flashing the Doublehorn as the crowd screams out "Son of a Gun! Son of a Gun!" He perches high atop the turnbuckle and backflips off, landing artfully and standing up to pace around the ring, test the ropes and such. He then goes back to his corner and rubs his chin, every now and then smiling out at the fans.

Gary Trudeau: Now in the ring, weighing in at 210 pounds, The "Ragin Cajun" Venny LeTrav!

Venny pops his neck, moving it from side to side as he tests the ropes. He then sits across the turnbuckle, leaning on one set of ropes with his elbows while his legs sit crossed on the other set.

Jimmy: Venny doesn't look too concerned about Grunge.
Fat Tony: He's too stupid to know any better, Jimmy!
V/O: I can hear the music fading out. My dreams fading in.

The lights begin to strobe red and white as the voice of Jack White begins to hit the speakers.

Fell in love with a girl
I fell in love once and almost completely

The White Stripes "Fell in Love with a Girl" is playing as Grunge steps out from the back. He's wearing his wrestling gear and motions to the back for his wife.

Can't think of anything to do
my left brain knows that all love is fleeting
she's just looking for something new
and I said it once before but it bears repeating

Julie walks up behind her husband, the TV title draped over her shoulder. She smiles towards the crowd wearing a red business suit. As they walk past the ramp red pyro erupts from the stage. Grunge stops at the ring and smirks at Venny. He enters the ring after giving a kiss to his wife and stands in the ring and mounts the turnbuckle. The fans give a huge pop in support of the TV champion. He flips off and takes off his red flackjacket. He goes over to the center of the ring and smirks.

DING DING DING

Venny and Grunge revolve in the ring as the bell is rung. Grunge and Venny both have their arms up, expecting to lock up at any time. Grunge holds his hand out over his head and Venny takes it. Venny holds out his hand lower and Grunge takes it as well. Suddenly, both men are locked up in what looks to be a show of strength. Grunge and Venny are pushing their shoulders and chests into the others along with the pressure being put on both sets of arms.

Jimmy: Looks like Grunge and Venny are gonna try to power each other down!
Fat Tony: No kidding! Look at em!

Grunge and Venny push and struggle hard for a bit and slowly, Venny starts to bend over backwards, yelling out from his pained back. Slowly, his head touches the ground and Venny looks like a strange three-legged coffee table. Grunge keeps applying the pressure and suddenly, Venny kicks head over heels, using his head as a balancing base as he seems to handspring backwards. As Venny lands, Grunge stares at him with amused eyes. He then shakes his head and starts to circle around the ring with Venny again.

Jimmy: Great competition between these two men.
Fat Tony: I wish that they would stop screwing around and just get to the match!

The two finally lock up. Grunge gets the advantage, placing Venny in a side headlock. The submission lasts all of two seconds before LeTrav pushes Grunge back into the ropes and uses the leverage to whip the Television champion away!

Jimmy: Great strategy by LeTrav!

Unfortunately for Venny, on Grunge's return, when LeTrav goes for a spinning heel kick, Grunge ducks under the Ragin' Cajun's leg, rebounds off the opposite ropes, leaps up, extends his arm, and smacks Venny down to the mat with a stiff clothesline! Venny is down on the mat.

Fat Tony: (mockingly) Bad defense by LeTrav!

Grunge quickly rolls LeTrav into a schoolboy pin!

Ref: ONE!
TWO!

Right after the referee yells out two, LeTrav powers out of the pin. Both men stand up quickly, and LeTrav hits a quick arm drag. Grunge rolls out and runs back at LeTrav, who hits an over-the-shoulder hip toss. Grunge slams to the mat and rolls onto his feet more slowly.

Jimmy: Venny is going for some easy moves.
Fat Tony: What a wimp!

As Grunge turns and faces Venny, he looks as if he's setting up the Television champion for a quick suplex, but instead, he turns it into a small package pin. The referee drops to the mat again and starts the count.

Ref: ONE!
TWO!

Grunge kicks out.

Jimmy: Two pins in a span of thirty seconds, and neither gets the count.
Fat Tony: Did you really expect one to?

As Venny rolls away and begins to push off the mat, Grunge nips up off the ground. The Oklahoma native hits the mat with his feet, then motions for LeTrav to just bring it. Venny shakes his head, then stands up fully before waiting for Grunge to do something. Of course, Grunge takes the bait.

Jimmy: Grunge is running right at LeTrav!

Just as Grunge is about to reach Venny, the Ragin' Cajun jumps high off the ground, wraps his legs around Grunge's head, and falls back, slamming Grunge down to the mat with a hurricanrana!

Fat Tony: Maybe Grunge's judgement is just a bit off...
Jimmy: Well, that attack from Venny was great.

Venny immediately lifts Grunge off the mat. He gives Grunge a kick straight to the abdomen, doubling Grunge over. He then looks to set the Television champion in a powerbomb setup. The fans cheer wildly as LeTrav lifts Grunge onto his shoulders. He then lowers Grunge down so that it looks like he's setting him up for a crucifix powerbomb!

Jimmy: LeTrav is going for the early win!
Fat Tony: NO! GRUNGE, GET OUT OF IT!

Tony's hopes are squashed as Venny slams Grunge down to the mat in what definitely looks like a crucifix, but it doesn't have the same power behind it. In fact, it seems that the only purpose was to plant Grunge's shoulders into the ground with high velocity and keep them in a backslide pin. The referee drops to the mat for the count.

Ref: ONE!
TWO!

Just as the referee is about to finish the three-count, Grunge kicks out and rolls his shoulders so that he lands on his face. The fans are going wild at LeTrav's near victory.

Jimmy: The match has barely been through two minutes, and the fans are going wild!
Fat Tony: It's almost like an abridged main event!

Venny stands up and grips his back in pain. Obviously, he has been more injured by his recent matches than he admits. Of course, he ignores it and lifts Grunge off the mat. He tries to lock Grunge up for some sort of suplex, but Grunge pushes away and drop kicks Venny right in the mouth. He then crosses his eyes and looks right at Venny.

Grunge: What do I look like, the stupidest man alive to you?

Venny gets up and charges Grunge. Grunge quickly move and Venny crashes right into the corner post to which Grunge just laughs along with the fans, Fat Tony and even the other wrestlers. Even Jimmy chuckles.

Jimmy: This new attitude is disturbing, but it's funny as hell!
Fat Tony: Oh, most definitely!
Jimmy: For all you fans who have mentally disabled relatives, we apologize.
Fat Tony: Jimmy, get off your high horse!

Venny turns around and drops into the turnbuckle in a sitting position. Grunge shakes his head and walks over to his fallen opponent. Grunge buries his boot into Venny sternum. After a few seconds, the ref comes over and starts pulling Grunge off of The Cajun. As Grunge backs off with the ref in tow, Venny gets up slowly.

Jimmy: Grunge is taking control of this match!
Fat Tony: Hello, and welcome to the Grunge show!
Jimmy: What are you talking about?
Fat Tony: Forget it, Rose.

When Venny gets to his feet, he dashes towards Grunge and whips him hard into the corner. As Grunge hits, Venny is already at the opposite turnbuckle. LeTrav runs back, then leaps into the air looking like he's flying into a mat-mounted Shooting Star Press, but he instead lands an upside-down mid-air thump on Grunge! Venny backflips from the impact landing on his feet as Grunge topples to the ground.

Jimmy: What was that about the Grunge show?
Fat Tony: It's on a temporary hiatus.

LeTrav immediately grabs Grunge, flips him over, and wraps his arm around Grunge's neck. He locks up his hands and cranks back, putting stress on Grunge's neck while draining oxygen from his brain!

Jimmy: LeTrav has Grunge down, draining the champion's energy by putting him in a headlock!
Fat Tony: C'mon Grunge, kick that Cajun to the curb!
Jimmy: What?
Fat Tony: Assonance Jimmy, don't you know the English language?

In the ring, Grunge starts to fight out of the headlock, elbowing Letrav mid-section, each blow making the Rajin Cajun grip loosen. Finally, when both men are on their feet, Grunge turns, and whips LeTrav into the ropes. On the rebound, Venny ducks and Grunge jumps over him. Venny carries on, bounces off the other ropes, and ducks again, unfortunately, Grunge also ducks, and with a groan from the crowd, the bang heads.

Jimmy: OW! That must've hurt, both men are down!
Fat Tony: The ref's counting!
Ref: ONE!

The crowd has begun to cheer for both Venny and Grunge, but neither is even stirring. In fact, they seem as if they're both asleep.

Ref: TWO!
Jimmy: It can't end like this!
Ref: THREE!
Fat Tony: But it probably will!
Ref: FOUR!

The ref continues to count, and neither man looks like they are going to get up. Suddenly, the crowd begins to stir.

Jimmy: What in the hell?
Fat Tony: Who's that?

From the crowd jumps Joey K! He sprints into the ring, sliding under the bottom rope. The crowd scream, but the ref doesn't see him, as he clatters the official with a huge clothesline!

Jimmy: What the hell does he think he's doing?!
Fat Tony: He's taking matters into his own hands! He DID tell us all to make way!

Joey smiles as he looks upon the unconscious ref, who hangs halfway out of the ring. The crowd boos violently, and Joey walks over to Grunge, he drags him to his feet, and pushes him towards the ropes. Then K steps back, with his arm in the air, kisses his fist and punches Grunge! Grunge flies over the top rope and rolls into the announcers' table!

Jimmy: My god, what the hell is this? There is no reason in Joey being here!
Fat Tony: Sure there is, the fans want to see him!

Joey now picks up LeTrav, who is only now regaining consciousness. He slowly lifts Venny's arm above his shoulder, putting him in the 'Making Way' position, a huge smirk across his face. He lifts him up, and slams the helpless LeTrav back down again, the crowd booing louder with every second!

Jimmy: There's the Making Way, and LeTrav is done for!
Fat Tony: Joey K is unstoppable!

With a huge grin across his face, he picks up Venny once again, and ties him up in the ropes. Then, he climbs out of the ring and makes his way to the announcers' desk.

Jimmy: What does he want now?
Fat Tony: Respect!

Joey makes his way to Gary Trudeau, who is holding Grunge's TV title. He snatches it angrily, and before climbing into the ring, bends over Grunge, shouting.

Joey K: This is gonna be MY belt!
Jimmy: Did you hear the Tony? I think that was a challenge.
Fat Tony: And I think Grunge is too scared to accept!
Jimmy: He's out cold Tony.
Fat Tony: Excuses, excuses.

Back in the ring, Joey stands, posing with the TV title, on the other side of the ring, LeTrav dazedly tries to get out of the ropes. Suddenly, Joey rushes forward, hitting Letrav square in the head with the belt!

Jimmy: OH MY!

Just as the fans "Ooh" in pain for Venny, they suddenly see a man rushing out onto the ramp headed towards the ring. The man is carrying a Singapore cane, and as the cameras zoom in and show his face on the JumboTron, they go wild!

Jimmy: It's Nicholas Adams! Nicholas Adams is on Meltdown!
Fat Tony: Why the hell is he here? He shouldn't be here!

Joey thinks that the fans are cheering because he hit LeTrav with the belt and out of a subconscious instinct, he turns around and celebrates to the crowd. But too late he sees Nicholas Adams slide into the ring with the shenai. Just as he sees Adams raise the weapon out of the corner of his eye, he raises the belt and turns towards the Rainmaker. Unfortunately, it isn't fast enough. Adams swings the Singapore cane and smacks LeTrav over the head!

CRACK!

Jimmy: Adams just saved LeTrav from a serious beating!
Fat Tony: Damn! I wanted to watch it!

Adams drinks in the cheers of the fans and raises the broken weapon. Adams looks to be the only wrestler awake in the arena...until Grunge suddenly slides into the ring and stares down the former Television champion.

Jimmy: Oh my God! Grunge is wide-awake, and he's got murder in his eyes!
Fat Tony: Well, you don't call a man's wife a b****. It just isn't nice.

Nick stares back at Grunge, nods, and then discards the Singapore cane over the top rope. Before Grunge can even mount an offense, Adams runs behind him towards the ropes, bounces off, and hits a highly motivated drop kick!

Jimmy: Adams is attacking Grunge!
Fat Tony: He's not even in the match!
Jimmy: This is close to being complete mayhem!
Fat Tony: Come on, ref, wake up!

Adams jumps on top of Grunge and begins to smack his forearm right into the Television champion's head. The fans are going wild at Adams' fury, but just as he raises his arm for the tenth time, he suddenly realizes what he's doing, and refrains. But instead of completely pulling back, he picks Grunge up off the ground. The fans go even wilder!

Jimmy: Adams is going to continue the punishment!
Fat Tony: He's stealing Joey K's spotlight!

Adams gives Grunge a quick toe kick before smacking the Television champion with a DDT! The force of the move flips Grunge over. He grips his head in pain as Adams nips up and looks back down at Grunge. Meanwhile, The referee is beginning to stir in the corner!

Jimmy: Whoa! The ref is awakening!
Fat Tony: From a dismal dream to a great morning!
Jimmy: What are you talking about?
Fat Tony: Christian song reference. Just smile and nod.

Nick yet again lifts Grunge off of the ground. The referee is getting up out of the corner, but he's still a bit groggy. Grunge stumbles backwards a bit, which allows Adams to fully extend his arm and grip the Oklahoman by the throat. At this grip, the fans cheer.

Jimmy: Contract Breaker!
Adams: I AM THE RAINMAKER!

Nick pulls his arm in, dragging a suddenly awakened Grunge along with it. Grunge is desperately trying to pull Adams' hand off of his throat, but to no avail. Meanwhile, the referee is completely conscious of the entire scene due to Nick's war cry, and gets ready to call for the bell due to interference. Adams lifts Grunge off the ground with ease, and stalls the slam, letting Grunge desperately struggle. He then smacks Grunge's lower back with his left hand and slams Grunge to the mat!

BAM!

The referee calls for the bell, which sounds out loudly. "Fell In Love With a Girl" by the White Stripes plays loudly over the PA system, as Adams looks down at Grunge in rage. He then shakes his head and stares at the referee.

Gary Trudeau: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by disqualification, GRUNGE!

Some fans cheer and some fans boo as Adams shakes his head...only to be met by a title belt shot from Joey K! The fans immediately boo at the former superhero, but Joey K takes no notice. Instead he just spits on the fallen Nicholas Adams, who has been busted wide open! Venny LeTrav finally stands up, and is met with a title shot so furious that he tumbles over the top rope and into the barrier. The crowd continues to boo as Joey poses with the belt.

Fat Tony: Joey has cleared the ring!
Jimmy: No wonder, what a blood thirsty attack form K tonight! After everything he said about other people running into his matches, this just shows what a coward he is!
Fat Tony: Whatever.

The scene fades to commercial, as Joey stares menacingly around the arena, veins popping, with LeTrav outside the ring, blood all over his face.

We cut to Mr Warr's office. He is seated at his desk, "doing paperwork" but not actually hiding his flip top gameboy very well. As the door slams, he abrubtly snaps it shut and sits up

Warr: I...er, I was just..(sees Damian)..Oh,it's you. What the hell do you want?
Damian: I could ask you the same thing. Why the hell did you call me here tonight? I got sh*t I need to take care of
Warr: I bet you do Damian, I bet you do. As you know, you good lady has been bombarding my offices with calls this week, petitioning on your behalf to secure a title shot against current WWA champion Ian Tense at March Madness.
Damian: (tuts) Yeah, what of it?
Warr: Well, for one, you're not the big f**king fish around here "sunshine". That honour belongs to me. I say what goes, not you. You want a title shot so bad? Then if you want it, you really, REALLY want it, you'll comply with my wishes. Effective immediately, you are hereby stripped of the WWA US title
Damian: What? Thats f**king bullsh*t! Why the hell...what the....

Warr sits and smirks to himself as he watches Damian raging and tugging at his hair. The crowd pop continueosly during all of this

Warr: Well, you wanted to have a title shot, and we don't allow dual champions here in the WWA. You want World Title gold...then you give me back the US gold, it's just that simple numbnuts
Damian: You got some f**king nerve pulling a stunt like this Warr. Fine, take your f**king title (tosses it over the desk at Matt) Put it somewhere safe before I ram the f**king thing down your throat!
Warr: I have one word for you Damian.......SECURITY!

With that, four burly security staff pile into Warr's office an drag Thorne out of the room. He has just enough time to hiss one final warning

Thorne: You'll pay f**ker...you and the WWA will pay!
Warr: I'm so scared Damian. But hey, keep on smiling huh?

Warr laughs out loud to himself as the door closes

Fat Tony: Wha?? Thorne just got stripped?
Jimmy: Yeah, I know. Isn't it great?
Fat Tony: Thats the worst thing that's happened to the WWA since Ventressa returning!
Jimmy: OH PLEASE!

Commercial Break

Voice: Spam. Food of the gods!

End Commercial

As we return the arena is filled with a hushed anticipation as the lights suddenly go out and darkness fills the huge auditorium. Not a sound can be heard from the assembled throng as the WWATron springs into life.

Viva La Revolution!

Suddenly a line of huge orange pyros explode all over the stage. "Danger, High Voltage" by The Electric 6 blasts out across the arena and the crowd get to their feet in anticipation. The roar is deafening as the greatest tag team in WWA history run out onto the stage. The crowd go wild as Johnny Shrapnel and Harley Trapper walk down to the ring.

Jimmy: The Veteranz look in somber mood today. No smiles or high-fives for the crowd!
Fat Tony: Good! I hate their comedy routine!

The Vetz climb into the ring and Trapper picks up a mic.

Fat Tony: Damnit! I hate it when Trapper speaks! Shut up!
Trapper: Today there will be no comedy antics, no off-beat shenanigans, tonight we are all-business.
Jimmy: A change in style for Trapper here tonight!

Trapper pauses to take a breath before he continues.

Trapper: As you know I retired from wrestling 2 months ago but I came back. I couldn't keep away, I love it too much! Since I was a little kid it's been my passion and being part of the WWA has been my dream. I did join the WWA and for the years that followed I lived my dream. I retired on a high. I spent more time with my family and it was great but then I was asked to return, to live my dream again. The Veteranz came back at Rage In The Cage.

The crowd pops at the mention of the greatest PPV of all time.

Trapper: We came back to have fun, to enjoy wrestling, to enjoy doing the greatest job in the world! However this was not to be.

Trapper walks around the ring as he speaks.

Trapper: We just wanted to have a good time but in the weeks since our return, we have been assaulted, we have been bloodied, I have been kidnapped and tortured. This has not been a happy time for us! Our lives have been made miseries by two men, Havoc!

The crowd boo at the name of the hated tag team.

Trapper: Havoc have destroyed our dreams, they have taken our passion from us. We can no longer love wrestling because Havoc have debased everything that we loved about it. No matter whether we lose to them or beat them we always come out worse. Havoc don't care about the outcome, they are cruel, evil bastards. They just want to hurt us. They want to destroy us because they can't stand being second best!

The crowd cheer in appreciation of Trapper's spirited outburst.

Trapper: Phobos and Deimos have attacked us mercilessly, this I can survive but there is one thing I can no longer live with.

On the tron 2 pictures appear. One is of Trapper with his arm around a pretty brunette and with 3 children sat at his feet. The other is of Johnny playing frisbee with 2 small kids.

Trapper: These are our families, yes, we do have families! These are the things that really matter to us. We don't want our kids watching us get kicked s**tless every week, we don't want our wives to worry about us whenever we leave the house. I am not really an ex-marine and Johnny isn't really insane, we are just average guys trying to do our jobs. We are professional wrestlers not part of some kind of underground fight club. We don't come here to get injured, we come here to put on a good show for the fans.

The crowd cheer again, purely because Trapper mentioned them. Idiots!

Trapper: We cannot continue merely surviving from day to day, we are putting our lives, and our families health, at risk. However if we don't stop Havoc, no-one will! Someone needs to show Havoc they can't just roll over everyone, someone need to show them that they cannot treat every other person like a lump of meat, those someones are The Veteranz!

The crowd cheer wildly because they've got nothing better to do.

Trapper: We are going to stop them, we are going to defeat them but it will take all our energy and strength to do it. In this match we will defeat Havoc but I feel we will also defeat ourselves. At March Madness the Veteranz will fight their last ever match.

The crowd react to this with a stunned silence, which makes a change.

Fat Tony: Trapper's retiring again! Yes!
Trapper: We know from past-experience that Havoc aren't good losers, they will seek retribution, they will come after us like a pack of wolves. We do not want to face this, it would be more than our families could bear. Therefore after the PPV we will be gone. Havoc will be defeated but we will be gone!

The lights of the arena go dark. For several still moments, the crowd murmurs in anticipation of what the darkness foretells. The first dark beats of "The Dogs of War" by Pink Floyd begin insinuating their way out of the arena PA as a blood red spotlight pierces the darkness, illuminating Tiffani Andrews at the top of the ramp. In a black, leather and chain corset and tight leather pants, coupled with her devilish grin and the riding crop in her hand, she exudes an air of luscious deviousness. The WWATron heralds the affiliation of the sons of Ares.

Jimmy: Just what we were expecting, here come Havoc!
Fat Tony: As always, Tiffani is looking hot tonight!

As the opening of the song reaches its crescendo, and the lyrics begin, a burst of flame from both sides of the entryway presages the arrival of the team known as Havoc. They stalk toward the ring amid the fires erupting along the sides of the ramp. The assembled fans roar their venomous disapproval.

Dogs of war and men of hate
With no cause, we don't discriminate

As the music continues, Phobos looks into the crowd with a sneer of disdain. They stop at the top of the ramp. Deimos looks arrogantly down to the ring.

Deimos: Once again, Trapper, you intend to retire, to run away. You are so afraid of the sons of Ares, of what we can, and will, do to you, that you’re going to run away, leave the company to avoid us. That’s pitiful, Trapper.
Trapper: Not pitiful, realistic. You are such an arrogant s**t! We are not leaving because of you, but because we have more important things to worry about, our lives and our families!

Phobos and Deimos grin callously. Tiffani laughs aloud.

Deimos: That's always been your problem, Trapper. That’s why you and your partner will always be no more than second best. Your priorities are all wrong. Nothing is more important than victory, not family, not friends, and not your worthless lives. There is no greater honor than defeating a worthy opponent.

Deimos pauses and looks away for a moment, as though an important detail had occurred to him. When he returns his attention to the Veteranz, his callous grin returns.

Deimos: Of course, you’re not worthy opponents, but we'll be happy to destroy you anyway.

The crowd boo.

Trapper: The Veteranz vs Havoc, the first time we've been alone in the ring together and the only time this match will ever happen. This is about more than honour, this is about more than glory, this match decides who is the Greatest Tag Team of All-Time. This match is for our family and our sanity. We will beat you, we will come out victorious!
Deimos: Be honest, Trapper, you will come out bloodied, beaten and defeated. The Veteranz will leave the WWA in an ambulance, to be remembered as an embarrassing disgrace.
Trapper: We'll see you in Buffalo.
Deimos: We'll see you in Hades!

Havoc turn and stalk out of the arena. Trapper looks at Johnny and smiles.

Trapper: How about one last time on Meltdown?

Johnny smiles his goofy smile and takes the microphone.

Johnny: Join in, VIVA LA REVOLUTION!
Crowd: VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

Danger! High Voltage by Electric Sux plays as The Veteranz leave Meltdown for the final time.

Jimmy: Havoc vs The Veteranz at March Madness! It'll be huge!
Fat Tony: Havoc are going to destroy them, good riddance to The Vetz!

Cut to commercial.

Commercial Break

Voice: WWAs Funniest Home Videos, see all the moments those WWA Wrestlers "Maant to do"

End Comemrcial

We now cut to a panning shot of the arena, as a graphic appears on-screen. "HARDCORE RULES" it reads, and is swiftly replaced by pictures of Eddie Van Dorn and Mal Somers.

Jimmy: Folks, we have one hell of a match lined up for you now.
Fat Tony: Hell of a match? It involves Mal Somers! How can you call it that?
Jimmy: Quite easily, Tony. Both Somers and Van Dorn are excellent athletes and a credit to this federation. That's how I-
Fat Tony: (cutting him off) Mal Somers is about as good an athlete as Grandmamma Valentino! He headlines Fiesta! What the Hell is Eddie Van Dorn doing in a match like this?
Jimmy: Well, I can see you're going to need some convincing. Folks, let's see how this match came about...

We now see a little graphic proclaiming that the footage we can see is from "FIESTA!" As we watch, we see EVD and the Extreme Corporation in a backstage corridor. EVD speaks.

EVD: All right, here's the deal. We need more members. I've been looking at guys who fit the bill of what our group is all about. You two are among the guys that I've been watching a little bit. But to tell you the truth, I'm not entirely impressed with what you've been doing lately. If you'd like to merge up with us, I need to run one of you through a little test.
Harley: (looking interested) What sort of test? If its a Scrabble Tournament, I'm all for it.
Somers: Settle down Harley, I think the man means business. What sort of test?
EVD: You see, I'm a bit out of practice. With the exception of Global Warfare, I've been rather inactive these past few months. What we can do is provide a service for each other. You give me a match... hardcore rules... on Meltdown this Monday. If you win the match... you're more than welcome into the fold. And I'm sure that you're interested in the offer, as I know that in this line of work, any intelligent person is always on the lookout for people to watch his back.

We watch as Eddie pauses and looks the two men up and down, then stands up from the crate. Somers and Harley smile and nod their heads, seriously entertaining the offer

EVD: Keep in mind that you don't have to decide which of you it will be right away. You don't even have to accept the offer at all. Take until the end of the night to think it over. I'll be back in the same place at the end of the show waiting for your response. As for me? I'll be preparing to reintroduce myself to the Meltdown crowd this Monday.

Eddie walks away shaking his head and we cut back to Jimmy and Tony at the desk.

Fat Tony: That still doesn't explain why we have this match.
Jimmy: Patience is a virtue, Tony. Fiesta continued, until...

We get another little "FIESTA!" graphic and the footage cuts to later on in that fateful night. We watch as Somers and Harley exit their dressing room, only to be greeted once again by EVD.

EVD: Hello again.
Somers: Ah Eddie, punctual as always.
Harley: Hey Eddie my man, good to see you.
EVD: Now that those formalities are out of the way... your decision, gentlemen?

We get a brief flicker of static, accompanied by a "FIESTA!" logo. When the screen clears, it is obvious that time has passed.

Somers: I won Hungry Hippos 3-2 and as a result, I'll be representing X-Corp at Meltdown.
EVD: Very well. All right, Mr. Somers...

Eddie jumps off of the crate and offers a handshake.

EVD: I'll be looking forward to Monday night.

Eddie and Mal shake hands, all but guaranteeing that the match will take place.

Somers: (smirking) Oh, me too Eddie... me too.

We now cut back to Jimmy and Tony.

Fat Tony: So we now get to watch EVD take Somers apart... because of a children's game?
Jimmy: That's the basic jist of it, yet.
Fat Tony: Well, I guess it makes more sense than "Spin The Wheel, Make The"-

Suddenly all the lights in the arena go out and the arena is left in eery pitch blackness.

Gary Trudeau: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is now time for the next match... which will be fought according to Hardcore Rules!

The crowd roars and then quietens down in anticipation of what will happen next. The opening chords of "Damage Inc." by Metallica blast over the P.A.

Dealing out the agony within
Charging hard and no one's gonna give in
Living on your knees, conformity
Or dying on your feet for honesty
Inbred our bodies work as one
Bloody, but never cry submission!

Pyro explodes and the words "EXTREME CORPORATION" form in blood on the WWATron before trickling away...

Gary Trudeau: Now making his way to the ring, accompanied by Dave "The Extreme Machine" Harley, hailing from Long Island, New York, and weighing in at 250 pounds... it's Mal Sommmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeerrrrrrssssssss!!

The WWATron shows various images of Mal Somers' escapades thus far in the WWA- winning the Rookie Title at Birthday Bash 2002, hitting the Somers Assault on Lockdown, playing Scrabble with Dave Harley, talking to "Rookie" and brawling with Leviathan at Rage in the Cage 2003... it's all good clean fun.

Following our instinct not a trend
Go against the grain until the end
Blood will follow blood
Dying time is here
Damage Incorporated!!!

From behind the curtain appears the Extreme Mobile, driven by Dave Harley and carrying Mal Somers who is standing in the dumpster attached to the front of the vehicle. Somers appears to be pumped up for his upcoming match, shaking his fists and pointing to random people in the crowd. He is dressed for action, his shock of long wavy red hair messed up, dressed in his customary black boots and black tights and "Extreme Corporation" T-Shirt. The now retired WWA Rookie Title, complete with macaroni and wool facial features is draped over his shoulder.

Fat Tony: Look at this loser. What a goon.
Jimmy: Oh, come on, Tony! He's only having a little fun!
Fat Tony: Bah. Waste of good macaroni, I say.

The vehicle rolls down the ramp as Mal Somers makes hand signals from the dumpster, indicating in the direction the Extreme Mobile will turn. As Dave pulls up at ringside, Somers alights the vehicle, jumping onto the apron and then vaulting over the top rope into the ring, where he does a spin for the crowd who cheers in response.

Jimmy: Mal Somers is back on Meltdown! And he looks happy to be here!
Fat Tony: I would be too if I was out of Fiesta!

Mal grins happily as the fans cheer, and he talks to the ref a little.

Fat Tony: Actually, that makes me wonder... why bother having a referee in a HardCore match?
Jimmy: You still need someone to count the pin.
Fat Tony: I guess. EVD can't make his own three-count, right?
Jimmy: You're incor-

The house lights dim as "Another Brick in the Wall, Part Two" by Pink Floyd begins to play, cutting Jimmy off quite effectively. It seems as if the only illumination in the arena is provided by the lighters that have been flicked on by the more musically inclined members of the audience. Suddenly, another flicker of light appears at the top of the ramp, lighting up Eddie's deviously grinning face.

We don't need no education...

Eddie walks slowly down the ramp as his highly appropos entrance theme continues to play.

We don't need no thought control...

He climbs the steps to the ring, then lights a fuse on one of the ringposts.

No dark sarcasms in the classroom...

The fuse burns slowly toward a powder load in one ringpost...

Teachers, leave them kids alone...

The powder load goes off just as the first forced note comes in the song, and each successive ringpost goes off with other stressed notes.

*boom* *boom* *boom* *boom*
HEY! TEACHER! LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE!

Eddie stands on the fourth turnbuckle to go off and raises his arms into a fixed Y position, casting his eyes skyward.

All in all you're just a... another brick in the wall.

EVD hops down off the turnbuckle as the arena lights come back up and his music fades away.

Fat Tony: A great theme song for a great talent. Somers has no hope of winning this. He should just quit now.
Jimmy: Why are you so negative? Somers is a great talent and a great guy.
Fat Tony: He's a lunatic. EVD is gonna pulverise him.

Somers and EVD now face off centre ring. It is quite obvious that EVD is the smaller man, and the four-inch, seventy-six pound size difference is quite blatant as the two stare each other out.

Jimmy: EVD giving up a lot of size here.
Fat Tony: Hey, David gave up a lot of size on Goliath, and look what happened.
Jimmy: True.
Fat Tony: Hey... has anyone checked EVD for a slingshot?
Jimmy: What?
Fat Tony: EVD's gonna go Biblical on Somers! Whooo!

The ref signals to the timekeeper, who nods.

DING, DING!

Somers and EVD circle one another and Somers stops and extends his hand. Eddie grins and grabs Somers' hand and the two shake.

Jimmy: Nice display of sportsmanship by EVD and Somers
Fat Tony: Wont last for long.

True to Tony's word, Van Dorn keeps a hold of Somers' hand, and runs to the corner, bouncing off the ropes before walking the tope rope and dropkicking Somers to the mat!

Fat Tony: Boom! EVD strikes fast and first!
Jimmy: Shades of Essa Rios there. EVD's quickness quite incredible.
Fat Tony: That's not quickness. It's just 'cuz Somers is so slow! Hah!

Eddie capitalises on his momentum, dropping consecutive elbows onto the larger Somers before picking him up.

Jimmy: EVD not allowing Mal Somers any time to breathe here.

Eddie now nails Somers with a brainbuster DDT!

Fat Tony: Yowch! Somers' neck just folded like an accordion!
Jimmy: EVD pulling out the big guns already.
Fat Tony: You said it. Dave Harley doesn't look too thrilled about it.

Seated in the Extreme Mobile, Dave indeed looks quite unhappy as EVD picks Mal up. The man from Truth Or Consequences goes for the Irish Whip, but the much larger Somers reverses the move. As EVD comes back, Somers goes to back-bodydrop him over the top rope, but EVD twists in mid-air and lands on the ring apron. As we watch, EVD taps Somers on the shoulder. He turns, only for EVD to grab him by the back of the head and hop off the ring apron, dropping the larger man neck-first across the top rope!

Fat Tony: Unorthodox offence by EVD.
Jimmy: Somers is down!

Indeed he is. As we watch, EVD grabs him by the ankle and pulls him from the ring.

Fat Tony: EVD *IS* Hardcore!

Somers is swaying on his feet and Eddie goes for a dropkick. Unfortunately, Somers was merely playing possum and catches his foe mid-air before driving him to the ringside matting with a sloppy-looking powerbomb-type maneuver.

Jimmy: Somers with the reversal!
Fat Tony: It's nothing! Just a blip! Come on, EVD!

Somers plays to the crowd before picking up EVD and signalling for a Russian Legsweep. EVD counters with an elbow to his foe's nose, breaking the hold, before nailing him with a Russian Legsweep of his own!

Fat Tony: Told you.

As we watch, EVD goes for an Irish Whip into the ringside barrier. Unfortunately, that size difference comes into play again and EVD finds his Irish Whip reversed, crashing into the barrier with such force that he ends up over it!

Jimmy: This is chaos!
Fat Tony: I know! These fans need to give EVD some room! He needs air!

Somers climbs over the barrier and picks up Eddie, slugging him in the face. We can see blood running down Somers' face from where Eddie elbowed him in the nose, and his grin is gone.

Jimmy: Look at the grim glare of Mal Somers!
Fat Tony: I think he may finally have realised that this isn't a joke.

Somers goes for another punch, but EVD blocks it, before hauling off a field-goal kick right between Somers' legs! The male half of the audience winces, and Somers goes down as if pole-axed.

Fat Tony: Yowch! Right in the calzones!
Jimmy: That's cojones, Tony...
Fat Tony: Hey, it's all food, right?

As we watch, EVD picks up Somers and heads back over the barrier. Still holding onto Somers' head, EVD mockingly salutes Dave Harley... before dropping Somers neck-first across the barrier with a reverse neckbreaker!

Jimmy: Holy- EVD could have literally broken Somers' neck with that!
Fat Tony: Do you think EVD cares?

A sadistic grin on his face, EVD reaches back over the barrier and drags Somers to his feet before dragging him back over to the ringside area.

Jimmy: Mal looks dead on his feet.

Eddie now signals for a Mexican Stretch Bomb, but Somers is just too big for him to lift! A frustrated expression crosses the former Extreme champion's face, before he spins Somers around and goes for a martial-arts kick!

Jimmy: Somers catches the leg!

EVD hops around, looking a little worried. Somers grins sadistically and spins EVD around, catching his leg again as he spins for a second kick.

Jimmy: This doesn't look good for-

EVD doesn't allow Jimmy to finish his sentence, instead nailing Somers with an Enziguri!

Fat Tony: Whooo! The comeback starts here, baby!

EVD gets back up and wipes some imaginary dust off himself.

Jimmy: Somers looks like he just got hit by a truck!

We see a split-screen replay as EVD turns and rummages under the ring. The Enziguri looks even more painful as we watch it a second time, as it connects right across the bridge of Somers' nose. As we come back to full-screen, we see that Eddie has brought a folding table out from under the ring!

Fat Tony: Whooo! EVD is getting wood!
Jimmy: You know, that sounds weirder and weirder every time I hear it, not to mention a little-

Eddie drops the unfolded table onto Somers.

Jimmy: That has to hurt.

Dave Harley looks less than happy as Eddie signals that he wants to fly.

Fat Tony: And this is gonna hurt even move!

Eddie heads up to the top rope. Mal remains prone under the table.

Fat Tony: Someone call the FAA!

Eddie flies, before dropping onto Somers with a double-footed stomp! The crowd begin to cheer.

Crowd: E-V-D! E-V-D!

Eddie grins mischievously before pointing to his chest with his thumbs.

Fat Tony: Now, where've we seen that before?

Eddie now pulls the table off the fallen Somers and shakes his head looking at his foe.

Jimmy: Somers got pancaked by that move.
Fat Tony: Unorthodox offence, like I said. It's what EVD's all about!

Eddie now picks up Somers by the hair and rolls him into the ring. We see that Somers' nose is bleeding even more than it had been as EVD picks him up again. That mischievous look crosses EVD's face again, and he yells at Somers.

Jimmy: Now what?
Fat Tony: He's toying with him. Toying with him, I say!

In desperation, Somers lunges at EVD, who drops to one knee and flips Somers over his shoulder to escape. Somers crashes back-first to the mat, and Eddie now cinches in a rear-chinlock.

Jimmy: EVD really working on Somers' neck here.
Fat Tony: Well, Eddie's "Detention" does work primarily on the neck, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Did you just pass an intelligent comment?
Fat Tony: I dunno. My head hurts from having to put up with Mal Somers so long!

As we watch, the larger Somers powers to his feet, driving elbows to EVD's gut and forcing him to break the hold. As we watch, Somers now goes for a rear-chinloc of his own. Eddie struggles, but then grabs Somers by the hair!

Jimmy: Ace Cru-

Somers pushes EVD away. The two circle each other, Somers wipping away some blood from his nose, which bubbles almost merrily with each breath.

Jimmy: A feeling out process here by both men.

Somers grins, and lifts his arms in the air, challenging Eddie to a test of strength. Van Dorn shrugs, and obliges!

Jimmy: EVD must be feeling very confident if he feels he can beat Somers in a test of strength.
Fat Tony: Why? Grandmamma Valentino could beat Somers in a test of strength! Hell, Great-Grandmamma Valentino probably could, and she's been dead since 1975!

The two men lock fingers, jockeying for position as the crowd cheers them on. Somers predictably wins the exchange and rolls through with a surfboard, but Van Dorn jams his head backwards into Somers' face almost immediately, breaking the hold!

Jimmy: Somers and Van Dorn both rising to their feet...
Fat Tony: *Another* test of strength by Somers?

Eddie locks fingers but this time kicks Somers in the gut and follows through with a double arm DDT.

Fat Tony: That's more like it, EVD. Kick his ass!

As we watch, Eddie puts Somers' head between his legs.

Jimmy: What are we gonna see now?

Somers counters by driving his head upwards into Eddie's crotch. Eddie staggers backwards in pain, before turning back, furious. Somers is back up and charges, but Eddie hits him with a back-bodydrop! As we watch, Somers lands on his feet, but staggers on landing and gets hung up in the ropes by his arms! Eddie grins sadistically and advances on Somers.

Jimmy: This doesn't look good for Mal.

Van Dorn slaps Somers across the face and berates him. The ref tries to extricate Somers, but Van Dorn pushes him away.

Fat Tony: You're only here to count the one-two-three, ref! Siddown and shuddup!

Eddie grins as the ref steps back. We watch as the former Extreme Champion rolls out of the ring, before heading over to the announcers' desk.

Fat Tony: Wonder what he wants?

Eddie grabs a spare chair.

Fat Tony: Ah. Stupid of me to wonder, really.

Eddie now slides back into the ring with the chair. He holds it up and...

THWACK
THWACK
THWACK
THWACK
THWACK
THWACK
THWACK
THWACK
THWACK

Eddie parades mockingly around the ring, chair held high, before charging in for the...

CRAXXXT!!!

Eddie throws the chair down and Somers sags like a ragdoll, still trapped in the ropes. Dave Harley looks as though he'd really like to go to help his friend, but honour won't permit it. Instead he just has to watch as the ref finally extricates Somers from his predicament. The Extreme Corporation member falls face-first to the mat, and Eddie grins.

Jimmy: I think we can safely say this is all over.
Fat Tony: Yeah, like Somers' nose is all over his face! Hah!

Eddie drops onto Somers with a lateral press. The ref drops to make the cover.

1!

2!

3!

DING, DING, DING!!!

Eddie grins and stands up.

Gary Trudeau: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner... Eddie Van Dorn!

The crowd cheer, but it's a little muted. They seem a little upset about the way Eddie has just beaten the Extreme Corporation member. Eddie calls for a mic, and is promptly tossed one.

Jimmy: Let's see how he defends his actions here...

Eddie drops down to a crouching position next to the semi-conscious Somers and shakes his head.

EVD: That's just sad. Really, it is. And you thought this was a legitimate offer. Though to tell the truth, it might have happened if you had ever had a chance in hell of winning the match. But let me tell you something... I made that offer knowing full well what I was going to do to you tonight. Right now, you're probably asking yourself why...

Eddie nudges Mal slightly to make sure he's still awake.

EVD: ...why did I go as far as I did? It's really very simple... you're a disgrace to the word "Extreme," my good man. You run it through the mud every week you go out there on Fiesta. You and your chum Harley. Would someone who is truly worthy of bearing the mantle of "extreme" have to wrestle on Fiesta every week? The only reason you had a match on Meltdown tonight was because it was a specific request from me. Would someone who is as "extreme" as you claim to be have the kind of record you do? And most of all, the question on my mind is this...

Eddie looks down into Mal's face with contempt.

EVD: Would someone fitting the mould of "extreme" really have allowed their valet to be kidnapped? Just keep asking yourself those questions, Malcolm. Because when you find the answers, you'll realize that you've been living a lie all this time. But until then... good luck at March Madness. And remember... the only reason I didn't give you even more of a beating was BECAUSE you have a match coming up, and I'd like to see you do well.

Eddie stands up from his crouching position.

EVD: Yes, you heard me right, I'd like to see you do well. You and Dave would make fine tag champions. Just stop lying to yourselves and everyone watching. Stop encroaching on my territory. Stop smudging a word that I helped make great. Stop... calling yourselves... extreme.

Eddie turns Mal's head away from him with his foot and drops the microphone on the mat, then leaves the ring as "Another Brick in the Wall, Part II" plays.

Jimmy: Well, that was turn-up for the books!
Fat Tony: You said it! But look what's happening now!

As EVD heads away from the ring, he is confronted by a very angry and baseball-bat wielding Dave Harley.

Jimmy: This could go off right here.

Words pass unheard between the two men, and Harley responds with a disgusted expression. Eddie grins and heads off back up the ramp. There are a few boos from a few sections of the crowd as we see that the ref and Dave Harley are tending to the fallen Somers.

Fat Tony: Folks, if you just missed it... where the Hell were you? EVD just clobbered Mal Somers!
Jimmy: This is definitely not the end of this story, but we have to take a commercial break now. We'll back with more WWA action after these messages.
Fat Tony: Don't touch that remote!

We fade to commercials as we see Dave Harley trying to revive his partner.

When we return from commercial, Tracer Bullet is backstage talking with a WWA Road Agent. Around a corner comes Enigma who bumps into to Tracer Bullet. Tracer turns around and Enigma looks straight at Tracer Bullet.

Enigma: Ah Tracer, long time no see huh? What brings you to Meltdown this week, maybe to pick a fight with say Tense? I mean you seemed to have picked a fight with everyone in the past few weeks like Thorne and Kash, but all the while you are forgetting the one man who you should be focusing on.

Tracer shooes the road agent away with a motion of his hand that seems to convey the message of, "This could get ugly." The road agent nods and walks off, and Tracer turns to Enigma.

Tracer Bullet: To the untrained, unintelligent eye... namely, yours... it may seem that way, yes. But if you pay close attention, you'll notice that I have yet to lay a hand on either Thorne or Kash. The point of an I.O.U. is exactly what it sounds like... deferring payment for a certain length of time. I'm just making sure they remember that I owe them something. Trust me, you have my full attention.
Enigma: Are you sure? Are you sure that your judgment is not clouded? My eyes are just fine Tracer. Look into my eyes and you know that I am right. You think that you are able to do what you want, when you want to. But you are wrong. You have I.O.U's and they will be imbedded in the back of your mind at all times and that's where I will defeat you. Mind games Tracer, a game you just can't beat me at.

Tracer smirks nonchalantly at this notion.

Tracer Bullet: Oh, but I already have.

Enigma gets closer to Tracer.

Enigma: (taking off his glasses) Oh really?
Tracer Bullet: Indeed. Need I remind you of last Monday?
Enigma: I was there, I remember, you lost your focus, you snapped.

Tracer stops smirking and openly chuckles.

Tracer Bullet: You think I lost focus, do you? I see things a bit differently, my little myoptic chum. After all, just think about it this way... you've already accused me of losing focus by doling out I.O.U.s to those other two men. What I see last week as, was proving that notion to be incorrect. For you see...

Tracer stares right into Enigma's eyes.

Tracer Bullet: ... I did not "snap" last week. That was a calculated attack to prove numerous things. Not the least of which is that you DO have my full attention. Aside from that, it was also intended to prove that, had I chosen to, I could have broken you right then and there. Don't deny it. I can have your career ended whenever I so choose. But I held off last week. At the risk of sounding like one Chris Irvine, I want to break you on a bigger stage.
Enigma: Tracer, you talk a big game, sometimes which gets you in trouble. As for breaking me last week, don't make me laugh, you had me in a surfboard and the way I see it you would have broken me if you could have. You may be getting a little dim, but you I know that you would not hesitate to take someone out that you claim has your full attention. If you could have done it (snaps fingers) you would have. However if the off chance that you could have done it and chose not to, then you just made the biggest mistake you have made in a long time because you only get one chance to do something like that and you better take it or it will bite you right in your ass.
Tracer Bullet: I find your logic highly circumspect, but here's what I'm going to do... I'm sure you remember the beginning of my problem with you right down to the very second, yes?
Enigma: I don't forget these things.

Tracer nods purposefully.

Tracer Bullet: Right. Well then... how would you like to try a bit of a replay of that night at March Madness?

Enigma smirks.

Enigma: It's on
Tracer Bullet: Let me just make sure we have this 100% clear... by "a bit" of a replay I do mean that there will be no cage, and Shane Dorian will be replaced by you. Tracer Bullet vs. Enigma, I Quit match, March Madness. I know that you're all for it...

Tracer looks into the camera.

Tracer Bullet: I'm just making sure management isn't going to screw up the stipulations.

Enigma chuckles a bit at Tracer's comment.

Enigma: Well, I have made you say those words before and I will do it again. I will beat you at March Madness, you can trust me on that.

Enigma extends a hand

Enigma: Shake like real men and we have a deal.
Tracer Bullet: Not that anyone's ever accused you of being a real man, but fine.

Tracer accepts the handshake.

Tracer Bullet: Just know that I'm going to finally be FULLY living up to the credo that I adopted last autumn.
Enigma: Which is?

Tracer grins, and before responding to the question laces into Enigma with a lightning-quick sucker punch to the face, sending Enigma sprawling to the floor. Tracer looks down at him, a look of severe derision upon his face.

Tracer Bullet: No... regrets.

Tracer then walks down the hall and disappears around a corner. Enigma lies on the ground holding the side of his face and you can see a smirk come over his face.

Enigma: I wouldn't expect anything less.

Jimmy: Enigma vs Tracer Bullet! I QUIT!
Fat Tony: its the first ever rematch where its not a rematch! Incredible!

Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots by Flaming Lips starts to play as the arena is bathed in yellow light. Suddenly several red pyros explode and Johnny Shrapnel wanders onto the stage.

VIVA LA REVOLUTION

Johnny smiles goofily and saunters down to the ring.

Jimmy: Shrapnel doesn't really think much of this match, does he?
Fat Tony: Obviously not!
Gary Trudeau: And, his opponent… hailing from Mount Olympus, one-half of the Tag Team known as Havoc, weighing in at 300 pounds…

The primal, grinding guitar of the opening seconds of Here to Stay by Korn rips through the arena. The lights dim with it, and a series of rapid-fire images begin to flash by on the big screen: a woman in the throes of passion, a nuclear detonation, a riot somewhere in this impoverished world, a man being hideously beaten by a mob, a cobra lashing out to strike it's prey. Behind the series of images, blood red words herald the affiliation of the son of Ares.

When the deep, throbbing melody kicks in, a blue light shines from the entranceway amid the multiple, random bursts of flame that erupt from the stage. Interrupting the eerie blue light, the massive frame of Deimos stands, head bowed. At his side, the woman that broke Rick Venom's heart, Tiffani Andrews, caresses his muscular frame. The fans cast their concentrated hate at the monster.

This time taking it away
I've got a problem
With me getting in the way
My final sign
So I take my face and bash it into a mirror
I won't have to see the pain bleed bleed

With the lyrics, Deimos stalks toward the ring, sneering at the meaningless wretches that pack the arena. For the entirety of the long walk toward the battleground, a blue spotlight illuminates him with a surreal affect. Tiffani slinks alongside with her blond hair flowing freely, in tight black vinyl pants, a tight vinyl bra, and a riding crop sliding playfully in her hands.

This state is elevating
As the hurt turns into hating
Anticipating all the (...)ed up feelings again

The son of Ares enters the ring over the top rope. His eyes burn with a fury born of madness. A lunatic grin creeps across his face. Suddenly, the music stops and the blessed comfort of the house lights returns.

Jimmy: Well, there's one half of Havoc… where's the other?!
Fat Tony: Maybe he's sick?

Shrapnel seems ready to go as Deimos points behind him. Shrapnel looks over his shoulder and sees his wife and kids sitting in the front row behind him! He faces them, terrified and motions for them to leave, but Deimos comes up behind him, twirling him around like a child and planting him into the ground with a clothesline.

Jimmy: His family is here! Oh, god!
Fat Tony: Run away kids! This could scar you for life!

Deimos scoops Shrapnel up and slams him to the mat. With Shrapnel momentarily stunned, Deimos grabs both of his legs, and maneuvers him under the ring ropes. Placing Shrapnel's legs securely under his arms, Deimos falls back, catapulting Shrapnel's throat into the bottom rope with unnerving force.

Jimmy: Slingshot into the bottom rope.
Fat Tony: That'll slow him down.

Shrapnel rolls around, holding his throat in pain as Deimos lifts him up again. Deimos looks over at Shrapnel's family, gloating a bit, but he is quickly met with a toe-kick to the stomach. Shrapnel breaks free after kicking Deimos and runs to the ropes. He runs back and springs into a Superkick, but Deimos catches his leg. Shrapnel laughs in spite of his oncoming reversal and leaps into the air, twisting upside down and attempting to kick Deimos into a flip. He doesn't do very well landing on his back as Deimos shoves Johnny's leg upwards, landing him on his rear.

Jimmy: A great attempt at a move there, by Johnny Shrapnel.
Fat Tony: Attempt. Attempt.

Deimos lifts Shrapnel up into a standing fireman's carry. With a roar of brutal glee, he releases Shrapnel's legs, throwing them out to the side. As Shrapnel falls, Deimos holds Shrapnel's head and kneels down, driving his jaw onto Deimos' knee!

Jimmy: Fireman's Carry Face Breaker!
Fat Tony: Now we'll get to find out if Johnny Shrapnel could possibly get any uglier.

JS's family looks on in horror as Deimos whips him into a corner and begins to pummel him with both fists. Shrapnel's wife shakes her head, closing her eyes as she speaks with her children and they begin to leave. But all too soon, a man wearing a dark hat and sunglasses stands and blocks the family from leaving. He takes off his hat and glasses and it's…

Jimmy: Phobos!!! He's blocking Shrapnel's family from leaving!
Fat Tony: They'll have to watch!

Phobos points at the family and then at their seats, telling them to stay put as he stands there and smirks at the beating Shrapnel is taking at the hands of his brother.

Jimmy: This is just wrong!

Near the corner, Deimos plants a boot into the midsection of Shrapnel, doubling him over. Deimos steps back, scaling to the second rope before following up with a Guillotine Face Driver!

Fat Tony: Guillotine Face Driver from the second rope! Shrapnel is really in trouble!

Shrapnel starts to stand, but Deimos shoves him back down with his boot. Deimos laughs at his opponent's weakness as he repeatedly shoves him back into the mat with his foot.

Jimmy: This is just awful, all he's doing is showing everyone how big he is.
Fat Tony: And that's pretty damned big!

Deimos finally lets his guard down and Shrapnel thrustkicks Deimos in the knee. As Deimos is holding his leg, Shrapnel whips Deimos chest first into the corner. After acknowledging the crowd, Shrapnel charges in with a splash. At the last moment, Deimos moves aside, revealing that he has removed the turnbuckle pad, much to Shrapnel's regret as he splashes only the metal turnbuckle!

Jimmy: Oh, my god! This is just awful!
Fat Tony: You already said that!

Deimos storms over to Shrapnel and grabs him by the ears, dragging him to the other side of the ring, and then throwing him out. Deimos steps out of the ring and then drags Johnny back over to his family and then precedes to beat the life out of him. Shrapnel's family screams and huddles together as they hear the sound of fists striking flesh over and over again. The beating given to Shrapnel is relentless at this point.

Jimmy: This is the ultimate disgrace! Ref, do something!
Fat Tony: Finally! He's threatening to end the match!

Tiffani takes to the apron, leaning against the ropes. Not surprisingly, her slinky form catches the referee's attention. She smiles and waves. With an insecure little grin, the referee tentatively waves back.

Jimmy: What is he doing? He's supposed to be calling this match.
Fat Tony: Would you really rather watch two men get sweaty than flirt with Tiffani?
Jimmy: Uh, no I suppose not.

Unfortunately for the referee, Deimos whips Shrapnel to the ropes, crashing into the hapless ref on the way.

Jimmy: He did that on purpose! He should be disqualified for that.
Fat Tony: The ref didn't see it, Jimmy.

Arrogantly, Deimos lifts Shrapnel from the canvas, a disturbing grin etched in his face. He hefts Shrapnel overhead in a military press before tossing him over the top rope to the thin matting outside.

Jimmy: And Shrapnel gets tossed outside. This is really unnecessary.

Deimos follows after, rolling out under the bottom rope. Tiffani finds herself unable to resist her sinister urges, and begins stomping her stiletto heels into the battered Johnny Shrapnel.

Jimmy: Look at that evil vixen.
Fat Tony: I am, I am!

Deimos pulls back the ringside matting to reveal the cold, hard concrete beneath. Meanwhile, Tiffani steps back, applauding Deimos' course of action. Deimos collects Shrapnel and drags him to the exposed concrete. With Tiffani's urging, he lifts Shrapnel into a powerbomb position.

Jimmy: Panic Attack on the concrete! This is just brutal!
Fat Tony: This is great! The Veteranz never should have claimed to be the greatest!

Deimos lifts Shrapnel again, his eyes glazing over with maniacal glee. Blood smears Shrapnel's face, dripping onto the concrete, and painting Deimos' shoulder red.

Jimmy: Another Panic Attack on the concrete! Someone's got to stop this!
Fat Tony: Let them fight!
Jimmy: This is just sheer cruelty! Someone wake up that ref!

Suddenly, a man is seen running down to ringside…

Jimmy: It's Trapper! Here comes the cavalry!

Trapper is holding a long metal pipe that swings wildly with each swift step down to ringside. Deimos finally looks up as he is met face first with the pipe. Deimos stumbles back away from the bloody mess that is Johnny Shrapnel as Phobos steps over the barricade and begins to trade blows with Trapper. Deimos slowly regains his composure and rolls Shrapnel into the ring. He slaps the ref on the back of the head and goes for the pin.

1…
2…
3!!!

Trapper gains the upper hand on Phobos as the bell dings. He knocks the other half of Havoc down with a swift swing of his pipe and runs to ringside to retrieve his fallen friend. Deimos does nothing as Shrapnel is dragged out of the ring and up the ramp by his tag partner. Shrapnel's family flees to the backstage area, most likely to meet with Johnny when he gets to the locker rooms. Phobos and Deimos stand in the ring, smirking and staring after the departing Veteranz. Tiffani joins them, stepping between the ropes to a rousing series of catcalls. Phobos raises a microphone to his mouth.

Phobos: That's right, Veteranz. Run away. Run away and hide. In fact, just keep running, because if you show up at March Madness, the punishment that you have endured since you morons crossed our paths will seem to like child's play. You have not yet begun to suffer.

Not surprisingly, the assembled crowd roars with disdain.

Phobos: Tell your families, Veteranz. Tell them to be afraid, be very afraid.

Phobos tosses the microphone to the side amid the hate-filled jeers of the arena.

Jimmy: These men are just sick. Not only are they threatening the Veteranz, but now they're threatening the Veteranz' families. I am simply appalled.
Fat Tony: Havoc, and the rest of the House of Pain, are all about dominance, Jimmy. Get used to it!

Again we cut back to Warr's office

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Warr looks up from his desk and groans inwardly.

Warr: Dare I say this...Who's there?
Voice: Kash
Warr: Kash who?

The door opens and Kash poke his head around it

Kash: Erm.....just Kash
Warr: Thank god. Come in Mr...erm Kash. What can I do for you?
Kash: Simple really. I'm pretty pissed off at the events of last week. I beat Tense for the WWA World title. You saw it, the fans saw it, everyone in TV land saw it. But due to some swerve Thorne pulled earlier that night, I get screwed. Well sh*t with that Mr Warr. I want Tense at March Madness. I want my shot fair and square

Warr strokes his chin thoughfully. For many moments he does this, while Kash looks on, faking yawns and making snoring noises. Warr finally puts both palms on the desk and fixes stares with Kash

Warr: .......Request granted
Kash: Look, I don't wanna hear no. I deserve that shot, and I damn well...sorry. Did you say...GRANTED?
Warr: I did (Kash begins to speak but Warr waves him off) Granted is all you need to know. Now if you'll forgive me, I have a main event to fill.

Kash silently nods to Warr and leaves quietly. Warr sits back in his chair and muses to himself

Warr: And I know just how to fill that main event slot.....

Cut back to the announcers

Fat Tony: I've a feeling that Warr has something big in store. But how dumb is that guy. He just gave Thorne AND Kash a shot at Tense at March Madness
Jimmy: I'm sure he knows what he's doing fat man.

Commercial Break

Voice: Nicholls Cheeze Whizz' - Getting...... FUNKY!

Following the commercials, the scene fades back in on Jimmy and Fat Tony at the announcer's table.

Jimmy: ...never heard of anyone getting VD from their hand, but maybe you should see a doct-OH! We're on!
Fat Tony: What?!
Jimmy: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Meltdown, Live from the Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The next match of the night involves two of the top technical wrestlers in the WWA. In fact, they're probably two of the best in the world. I'm talking about Vik Ventressa and Denrol.
Fat Tony: WHOOOOOOOO! EH?
Jimmy: Last week, Denrol managed to get this match against Vik Ventressa. President Warr agreed that if Denrol can beat Vik, then Denrol gets a title shot on the Meltdown following March Madness.
Fat Tony: It's a free ride for Denrol. Vik Ventressa has never beaten him in a one on one confrontation, and tonight won't change that. Denrol's getting a title shot.

"Full Nelson" by Limp Bizkit plays as Denrol's entrance video plays. It shows scenes from throughout Denrol's career, mainly his title wins. As the song lyrics begin, Denrol steps out, dressed in a classic red Ric Flair-style robe, with gold designs. Denrol turns around, showing off the back of the robe, which says "Greatest Of All Earth Time". He turns back around and walks towards the ring.

Why is everybody always picking on me?
Does anybody really know a thing about me?
One of these days we'll be in the same place
In the same place punk, at the very same time
And when it takes place
And you wanna talk sh*t
Then step your ass up, and say it right to my face

You'll get knocked the f*ck out
Cause your mouth's writing checks that your ass can't cash
Knocked straight the f*ck out
Cause your mouth's writing checks that your ass can't cash

Denrol steps into the ring, glaring at some fans that try and touch him. He stands in the middle of the ring and bows mockingly to the crowd. He then removes his robe and hands it to a ring attendant. Underneath he is wearing his usual ring gear, namely a black wrestling singlet with triangle designs on the sides, black elbow and kneepads, and red tape around his wrist. He bounces off the ropes and waits for Ventressa to come out.

Fat Tony: Denrol is ready to go. What a great wrestler.
Jimmy: Denrol is also arrogant and obnoxious. The fans here in Minneapolis sure don't care for him.

All of a sudden, the lights die. The crowd noise reduces to a murmur as an ECG Heart Monitor takes over the JumboTron. A deep thudding of a heartbeat then fills the arena

THUD, THUD
THUD, THUD
THUD....

The heartbeat stops as the ECG Flatlines...

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

And the nu-metal sound of Linkin Park's "One Step Closer" begins the build up. By this point the crowd have let out a cheer as they know exactly who it is.

As the first chorus is heard, spotlights from the ceiling rotate around the crowd. They eventually spin around in a centrifugal pattern, and eventually focus on the center of the ring, as the slowly, in time with the music, work their way up the rampway.

By this point, a figure has emerged in the entranceway, his back to us: the spotlights make it up to the figure. We see a man in Shiny Red Trousers, and a black short-sleeved shirt. The wrists are taped white as the words are heard over the PA....

Just Like Before.....

And the strum of the course signals a huge

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

As the Pyro's erupt, The man jumps in the air, strums an air guitar and turns at the same time..... it's Vik Ventressa, and the crowd are loving it....

EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO ME!
takes me one step closer to the edge... and I'm about to break...
I NEED A LITTLE ROOM TO BREATHE
because I'm one step closer to the edge... and I'm about to break...

As the song continues in the instrumental version, Vik makes his way to down the rampway, smooth and suave, he slaps a couple of hands, and stops to sign an autograph. He gets half way down to the ring, before charging it, sliding under the bottom rope, then getting up, arms outstretched, and spins around in a Kurt Angle style. He then climbs the ring post, and the other three erupt as he throws his arms in the air.

Jimmy: Listen to these fans, they just love Vik Ventressa.
Fat Tony: Oh, please. They'd cheer a turd if they thought they were supposed to, and Ventressa's entrance is proof of that.
Jimmy: Vik Ventressa has a lot to prove in that ring tonight. If he beats Denrol, then he'll be able to walk away with his head held high.
Fat Tony: After his loss to Denrol at Independence Day Rumble 2001, I'm sure Ventressa's going to try to prove that he has what he takes.
Jimmy: That's right. He's got something to prove to the fans, to Denrol, and to himself.

All of a sudden the arena lights drop and the air is filled with the hideous wail of an air-raid siren. The crowd boo as three letters appear on the WWATron.

As the boos reach a crescendo, the screen is slashed from top to bottom with a bright red line. At the same moment, the air-raid siren cuts out and is replaced by Marilyn Manson's "The Fight Song".

Nothing suffocates you more than
The passing of everyday human events
Isolation is the oxygen mask you make
You children breathe in to

SUR-VIIIIIIVEEE!!!

At exactly the same moment, a huge wall of white pyro explodes along the front of the stage.

But I'm not a slave
To a god
That doesn't exist
I'm not a slave
To a world
That doesn't give a sh*t...

As Manson's thunderous paean to hate roars on, the six-foot ten three-time former WWA World Heavyweight Champion strides out from under the WWATron, his face contorted into a mask of hate, the huge scar across his face evidence of just how far he's willing to go to get the win. The WWATron fills with footage of him beating foe after foe senseless, and the crowd go into paroxysms of hate.

Jimmy: And here comes the Special Enforcer for this match, Jackson Kraven.
Fat Tony: The most dangerous and hated man in the WWA!
Jimmy: Both of these competitors have had their share of negative interactions with Kraven.
Fat Tony: Are you kidding me? All three of these guys absolutely despise each other. Chaos is gonna break loose tonight!

Kraven heads to the ring as the arena lights come back up, the twisted grimace of hate on his face made all the more horrible by that huge, hideous wound.

Jimmy: Nearly seven feet tall, weighing over 300 pounds, and with a thirst for destruction, Jackson Kraven is truly a monster.
Fat Tony: Kinda like your sister, huh?

Both Ventressa and Denrol watch Kraven warily. Hate passes between all three, but Kraven takes his place at ringside, crossing his powerful arms across his chest. The referee makes his last minute instructions to Denrol and Ventressa. Their eyes meet, locking into a battle of wills.

DING! DING!

Jimmy: There's the bell, and this match is officially underway.

They reach out, tangling in a collar and elbow. Rather than bother with the contest of strength and leverage, Denrol pulls Ventressa into a side headlock. In a heartbeat, Ventressa steps his foot around Denrol's, breaking his leverage. He grabs Denrol's wrist, and spins, locking Denrol's arm into an armbar. Denrol taps his shoulder once before rolling forward to release the pressure. With Vik's leverage gone, Denrol reverses the armbar. As Vik prepares to roll forward, Denrol pulls him back into the side headlock.

Jimmy: These two men definitely know their way around the ring.
Fat Tony: And Ventressa ended up back under Denrol's control in that side headlock. I love it.

This time, Ventressa takes another tack. He sets his balance low, hooks an arm under Denrol's leg and lifts. Denrol sails into the air overhead, flipping completely over to land on his feet behind Vik. Ventressa takes to the ropes, bouncing back toward Denrol. Denrol leapfrogs over him, allowing Ventressa to continue on to the ropes again. As Ventressa returns, Denrol drops to the canvas, forcing Ventressa to leap past him.

Jimmy: Quick action, off the ropes.

Ventressa rebounds a third time. Denrol sets himself and reaches out for a hiptoss. Ventressa stops his momentum, and sets his weight, blocking the hiptoss attempt. To Denrol's dismay, Ventressa reverses the hiptoss attempt into a hiptoss of his own, slamming Denrol down to the mat.

Jimmy: And Vik manages to get one up on Denrol.

Denrol rolls quickly to his feet, not allowing Ventressa a moment to capitalize. Both men stare at the other, intensity and pride burning in their eyes. The fans explode with appreciation.

Fat Tony: See, they're all cheering for Denrol.
Jimmy: I think they're cheering more for the technical skill of both men, rather than one or the other.
Fat Tony: Well, you're wrong.

Ventressa takes to the ropes again while Denrol waits for his return. As Ventressa rebounds, a huge paw swipes at his foot, tripping him to the canvas. Kraven walks away smiling.

Jimmy: Oh, come on. Kraven is supposed to be enforcing the rules, not interfering in the match.
Fat Tony: It's Jackson Kraven, he can do anything he wants, just like the rest of the House of Pain.

Denrol stares at Kraven. Kraven's only reaction is a rude finger gesture. Smirking, Denrol drags his index finger down his face, mimicking the scar that he gave the big man.

Jimmy: I'm not sure if it's such a good idea to be provoking Jackson Kraven like that.
Fat Tony: Kraven already hates everyone in that ring, why make matters worse?

Ventressa nips up to his feet, ready to continue. Without missing a beat, Denrol grabs Ventressa and slings him to the ropes. Denrol runs to the ropes, as well, careening toward the advancing Ventressa.

Jimmy: Like two speeding trains!

They both take to the air, in textbook quality dropkicks that miss each other completely. They both land on the mat, looking a little surprised.

Fat Tony: What was that? They missed!
Jimmy: They went for the same move, and sailed right past each other. It's amazing how much alike these two are.
Fat Tony: Don't insult Denrol like that.

Both men leap to their feet. Ventressa moves in a flash toward Denrol. Denrol reaches out, grabbing Ventressa's upper arms and falling back into a monkey flip. Ventressa lands on the canvas on the other side. Again, it's not enough to keep either man down as they both roll to their feet. Again, their eyes meet, locked in that same battle of wills. The fans react with shouts of glee.

Jimmy: Wow, we are really being treated to a display of technical skill tonight.

Ventressa is the first to react, again. He pulls Denrol's arm and sends him toward the far side ropes. Denrol stops his momentum however, and reverses the whip. To Denrol's surprise, Ventressa executes another reversal, slamming Denrol back first into the corner. Ventressa quickly mounts the ropes and begins laying carefully measured punches into Denrol's face.

Crowd: One...Two...Three...Four...Five...Six...Seven...Eight...Nine...

Ventressa stops and looks out at the fans. The referee admonishes him, commanding him to get down. Ventressa lays a kiss on his fist and raises it up. With the referee paying close attention so high up, he doesn't notice what happens below. Denrol raises his arm into Ventressa's crotch!

Jimmy: Low blow!
Fat Tony: Eeeep!
Jimmy: Denrol gave Ventressa a cheap shot right under the ref's nose, and the ref didn't see it.

Vik drops from the corner, still on his feet, but bent over clutching at the damaged merchandise. Denrol takes the opportunity to drape his leg over Ventressa's head and smash his head into the canvas with a Guillotine Face Driver!

Jimmy: Denrol capitalizes on the...ahem, weakened state of Vik Ventressa.
Fat Tony: Compared to Denrol, Ventressa is always in a weakened state.
Jimmy: I'll give credit where credit is due. Denrol is four inches shorter that Ventressa, but he makes up for that with skill and determination.
Fat Tony: And cheap shots!
Jimmy: You said it, not me. Nonetheless, Ventressa should not be underestimated either. He's a terrific competitor and has every ounce of skill that Denrol does.
Fat Tony: Then, why hasn't Ventressa ever beaten Denrol?
Jimmy: Just watch the match, Tony.

Denrol pulls Ventressa from the mat and tosses him to the corner. Once there, Denrol begins to stomp away at Vik, planting his boots into Viks' gut, chest, arms, head, anywhere that his boot can find a spot to connect. Ventressa sinks down in the corner until he sits on the canvas.

Jimmy: Denrol just viciously stomping Ventressa into the ground.
Fat Tony: Would you say that he's stomping a mud-
Jimmy: No! No, I wouldn't. You obviously have me confused with someone else in a lesser federation.

Denrol follows up by placing his shin against Ventressa's neck. He grabs the ropes and pulls, forcing his leg into Ventressa's neck. Ventressa flails on the ground, trying desperately to escape. The referee begins counting in an attempt to get Denrol to release Vik from the corner.

One...
Two...
Three...
Four...

Finally, Denrol lets go of the ropes and takes a few steps away. With a few choice words for the referee {the lip-readers out there will find that it is best that the microphones didn't pick up his words}, Denrol charges in, smashing his knee into Ventressa's tender neck.

Jimmy: Oh, that's gotta hurt!
Fat Tony: Denrol's softening him up for the Evil Killer.

Denrol pulls Ventressa back to his feet, still leaning against the corner. He rears back and chops Ventressa across the chest, leaving an ugly red welt.

SMACK!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOO! EH?

Denrol looks out at the crowd angrily.

Jimmy: Denrol looks offended that the fans would dare to use his catchphrase.

SMACK!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOO! EH?

Again, Denrol looks around angrily, mouthing unflattering epitaphs.

SMACK!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOO! EH?

This time, Denrol makes a rude finger gesture at the crowd.

SMACK!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOOO! EH?

Denrol stomps his foot in anger.

Jimmy: He's really upset about the fans doing that, isn't he?
Fat Tony: Of course, he is. These are Minnesota trash. If they lived a few miles north, across the border, they might have the right to use the "WHOOOOOOOO! EH?" But, they don't live in Canada, so they have no right. They just suck.

Denrol turns to strike Ventressa again, but finds the corner empty. He turns in time to see Ventressa come off of the opposite ropes. Vik plants a boot into Denrol's midsection, doubling him over. Ventressa pulls Denrol's head under his arm, in position for a DDT.

Jimmy: Here comes the Ventressicator!
Fat Tony: No!

Realizing the danger that he's in, Denrol pulls his head out from under Vik's arm and, in a heartbeat, smashes Ventressa's jaw into his shoulder with a Three-Quarter Facelock Bulldog!

Fat Tony: Denrol escaped the Ventressicator, and dropped Vik with a Stunner!
Jimmy: Quick thinking by Denrol.

Denrol stands, shaking off the feeling that he nearly suffered the Ventressicator. Ventressa lays on his stomach, still dazed by Denrol's attack. He stands over Vik, pulling one arm up and wrapping the other around Vik's neck in a Cobra Clutch.

Jimmy: Here comes the MEAT GRINDER!
Fat Tony: This will end it all right here!

Ventressa realizes his predicament and immediately thrashes against Denrol's grip. Denrol tries to lock his arms around Ventressa's neck, but Viks' efforts prove indomitable. Ventressa scrambles to the ropes, leaving Denrol unable to apply the deadly submission hold.

Jimmy: Ventressa got lucky there. That Cobra Clutch Choke Hold, coupled with the Body Scissors, is just plain lethal.
Fat Tony: He'll feel it soon enough. Ventressa is doomed.

Jackson Kraven stares on a with a smirk as Ventressa rolls from the ring.

Jimmy: Looks like Vik is taking a breather.
Fat Tony: More like he's a coward.

Ventressa leans back against the guardrail, keeping a careful eye on both Kraven and Denrol. Denrol leaps over the ropes suddenly, turning his body sideways. Ventressa moves quickly however, leaving Denrol to Cross Body Block the guardrail.

Jimmy: OH, my goodness. That high-risk move did not pay off for Denrol!

Ventressa moves in quickly, lifting Denrol from the mat. He shares a high-five with a fan, then DDTs Denrol to the thin ringside matting!

Jimmy: That matting offers no real protection from the hard concrete underneath.

Not missing a beat, Ventressa leaps onto the guardrail and pushes off into a short Moonsault, crashing onto the prone Denrol. The fans roar, appreciative of the brilliant display unfolding before them.

Jimmy: And a Moosault onto Denrol.

Ventressa immediately regains his feet, and looks for Kraven. He finds Kraven standing at the ring corner with his hands on hips, his blue eyes staring icy daggers at Ventressa from behind that hideous scar. Ventressa rolls Denrol into the ring, before giving Kraven the one-fingered salute, and rolling into the ring himself. Kraven bristles with anger, but bides his time.

Fat Tony: Ventressa's playing with fire by taunting Jackson Kraven like that.

Once inside the ring, Denrol begins to recollect his feet. Not wanting to give Denrol a moment to breathe, Vik charges forward, taking Denrol back down with a massive spear.

Jimmy: Vik Ventressa is well in control of this match, now.

Vik continues by pulling Denrol to a standing position, and snapping him overhead with a Fisherman's Suplex. With the speed of a man possessed, Ventressa drags Denrol from the canvas again, and whips him to the ropes. Denrol returns into a Back Body Drop. Still keeping a presence of mind about him, Denrol flips over onto his feet behind Ventressa.

Jimmy: Look out, Vik!

Ventressa smiles cockily for the fans. Denrol stands behind him, and casually taps him on the shoulder. Vik turns quickly to see Denrol's foot rising to meet his midsection. Perhaps by incredible speed and training, or perhaps by sheer luck, Ventressa catches the boot before it can connect.

Jimmy: Denrol nearly had him, but Ventressa caught the foot.

Their eyes meet, and Ventressa quickly tosses Denrol's leg out the side, spinning the Canadian around in a full circle. Unfortunately, the referee had moved in close, and takes a boot to the jaw!

Jimmy: The referee is down!
Fat Tony: Ventressa is a cheater! He just took out the ref!
Jimmy: It was an accident, Tony.

Denrol continues the turn to meet a boot to the midsection from Ventressa. With Denrol doubled over, Ventressa pulls him in and up into a devastating Implant DDT!

Jimmy: And Denrol goes down hard!
Fat Tony: No!

Ventressa steps back and stretches his arms out to his sides. With a big smile, he spins in place, prompting the riotous cheers of the fans.

Crowd: VIK! VIK! VIK! VIK!
Fat Tony: They shouldn't be calling him that. He's not really a d--.
Jimmy: Stop it!

Denrol slowly stirs as Ventressa celebrates, pulling himself up to a sitting position. Ventressa nears the ropes, but spies Kraven there and backs away warily.

Fat Tony: You know, both Denrol and Ventressa have avoided Kraven all night. I knew Vik was a pansy, but I didn't think Denrol was.
Jimmy: There's a big difference between cowardice and caution.

With a backward glance, Ventressa spots Denrol rising to his feet. He immediately runs to the perpendicular ropes and rebounds toward Denrol. Unfortunately for Ventressa, Denrol waits, measuring his opponent for the fateful kick to Ventressa's midsection. Ventressa's momentum stops and he doubles over.

Fat Tony: Denrol's not out of this match, yet!

He than hooks him up into a Suplex, but turns it midway into a piledriver.

Jimmy: EVIL KILLER! Denrol has it in the bag!

Denrol quickly covers Vik, but there's no count. The referee remains motionless on the canvas, several feet away. Denrol growls and yells at Kraven to get in and do his job. Kraven crosses his arms and laughs heartily.

Fat Tony: Come on Kraven, Denrol has him beat here.

Denrol gets off Vik and stands by the ropes, yelling at Kraven. As the two argue back and forth, trading insults, Vik rises. The crowd cheers loudly, catching Denrol's attention. He spins around to meet a boot to the midsection. Ventressa pulls Denrol's head under his arm, spins Denrol and himself around so that Denrol's head is under Vik's other arm, face up, his body behind Ventressa. Vik smiles down at Denrol, and drops.

Jimmy: The Ventressicator! Now Vik has it! But first, he has to revive the ref.

Vik manages to bring the ref around a little. Groggily, the hapless referee follows as Vik covers Denrol. Fighting through the fog in his head, the referee slowly counts.

One...

Fat Tony: Kick out Denny!

Two...

Jimmy: This will be close.

Just before three, Kraven reaches in and pulls Vik out of the ring by his legs.

Jimmy: What the hell!?
Fat Tony: I knew Kraven wouldn't let us down!

The two exchange fists while security personnel spill from the entryway. In the ring, the referee collapses, having exhausted himself with the effort. The swarm of security tries desperately to pull Kraven away from Ventressa.

Fat Tony: It's a Pier Six brawl outside the ring.
Jimmy: You have no shame.

Denrol slowly pulls himself up from the canvas. Looking out at the mass of people outside, he can't resist laughing. He waits in the ring, catching his breath while waiting for Vik.

Fat Tony: Denrol's a smart man. Let Kraven break Ventressa in half, then steal the victory.

The fans suddenly erupt into cheers. Hopping over the guardrail, Chance comes out of nowhere and slides into the ring. With amazing speed, he grabs Denrol and gives him a double-arm DDT, smashing Denrol's head into the canvas! In an instant, Chance runs up the turnbuckles, never missing a step, and sails high into the air for an amazing Moonsault, amid a blinding cacophony of flashbulbs!

Fat Tony: Dammit, Fortune's Fool!
Jimmy: Chance just hit the Fortune's Fool on Denrol!

Chance rolls out of the ring as the ref pulls himself up. The security personnel manage to separate Kraven from Ventressa. Ventressa slides into the ring, intending to return to the match at hand. He looks down at the prone Denrol. He looks out at the fans and shrugs.

Jimmy: Vik Ventressa has no idea what just happened! He was preoccupied with Jackson Kraven during that whole thing!
Fat Tony: Damn that Chance!

Ventressa capitalizes by dropping for the cover and hooking the leg.

One...

Two...

Three!!!

DING! DING! DING!

Gary Trudeau: The winner of the match... VIK VENTRESSA!

Vik's music barely starts to play as he leaps through the ropes at Kraven, knocking Kraven and the security personnel down.

Jimmy: Vik doesn't care that he just won, he wants a piece of Kraven right now.

Vik yanks Kraven up by the hair and the two exchange fists as they work their way up the aisle.

Fat Tony: Vik has a lot of guts now, but we'll see how much he does at March Madness.

The fans cheer as both men brawl their way into the back, followed by security. Chance gets back into the ring as Denrol gets up. Chance grabs him and gives him the Evil Killer. "Staring into the Sun" by Offspring start to play as Chance climbs the turnbuckles and celebrates.

Jimmy: Chance used Denrol's own finisher against him.

Chance rolls out and slaps some hands as the show goes to commercial.

The show returns from a commercial break back in the ring. Denrol is standing there, looking very pissed, so pissed he's pulled down the straps of his tights. He has a microphone in his hand. He glares at the crowd.

Denrol: I'm not going anywhere until Warr gets out here. I just got screwed tonight and I blame him for it.
Jimmy: Denrol says he isn't moving until the WWA President comes out here.

"In The End" by Linkin Park begins to play and Matthew Warr comes out. He is carrying a microphone of his own. He walks down to the ring and gets in via the ring steps. Warr walks right up to Denrol.

Warr: You better have a damn good reason for this.
Denrol: I got screwed Warr. You know it. I deserve a WWA World Title shot and Chance screwed me out of it. I want what is rightfully mine.
Warr: You lost Denrol. Thus, no shot.
Denrol: I lost because of Chance. What if I beat Chance at March Madness?
Warr: The answer is still no. Chance may be good, but he's not World Title caliber right now.
Denrol: I want my shot. I'll give anything or do anything for it.
Warr: Anything?

Denrol shakes his head.

Denrol: What's it going to take?
Warr: Your share of the WWA. I want your stock because I'm sick of you thinking you run this place.

Denrol turns around and paces around the ring.

Jimmy: Denrol with a tough choice. He wants a WWA World Title shot, but he's going to cost him his immunity.

Denrol stops and turns to Warr.

Denrol: No.
Warr: Then no title shot, it's that simple.
Denrol: What if we made a bet?
Warr: A bet?
Denrol: If I beat Chance, I get my title shot.
Warr: I already told you...
Denrol: If I lose, I'll give you all of my WWA stock.

Warr grins.

Warr: You got a deal.

Denrol smiles and offers his left hand. Warr smiles back and shakes the hand. Denrol grins wider and pulls Warr in to give him a devastating short arm clothesline. The crowd boos loudly.

Jimmy: That snake. Takes a lot of guts to attack a non-wrestler.

Denrol raises his hands up like it's a big victory. The crowd cheers as Chance slides into the ring. Chance steps up behind Denrol and looks like he's going to attack him, but instead he just pulls down Denrol's tights, revealing Denrol is wearing... a purple thong?!?!

Fat Tony: Hey, did he take that from my... I mean, OH MY GAWD!
Jimmy: Denrol has been pantsed!

Denrol turns to go after Chance, but he trips over his own outfit which is around his knees. Chance chuckles and rolls out of the ring and goes up the aisle.

Jimmy: I guess Denrol will say later he meant to do that.
Fat Tony: Are you saying something about the god-Like Showtime?
Jimmy: You're not on the clock: he's not in this match.

Amid a mix of cheers and laughter from the fans, Denrol pulls up his tights and runs after Chance. Warr, only now managing to pull himself to a sitting position, laughs uncontrollably.

We cut to see Kash is seen backstage getting some coffe and chatting with either himself or one of the local wrestlers. Thorne approaches him, showing the unknown wrestler out of the way to address Kash

Thorne: Suits you Kash, hanging backstage with the jabronis. Plans for March Madness?
Kash: As long as I'm not wrestling you, then I'm fine with whatever
Thorne: And whatever is what you'll get, because I have the shot against Mongo Tense at Madness
Kash: Bullsh*t Damian. I just had my shot granted by President Warr.
Thorne: Bullshit yourself f**ker! Warr just gave me the shot

The two continue to argue until shoving starts to ensue. Refs struggle to break it all up and finally manage, just as Mr Warr appears to get some coffee.

Warr: I heard all that was going on between you two. Quite frankly, it pisses me off that you act like a pair of girls, bitching at each other. Kash, I gotta say, Damian is right, he does have the shot at Madness. And Damian, I gotta say Kash is right. He does have a shot at Madness. But as there is only one champ, there can be only one contender. You two will settle this sh*t once and for all tonight. Main Event tonight? Kash v Thorne, number one contender's match, winner advances to March Madness. Now if you'll excuse me gents, I need to take a Denrol.
Fat Tony: Wha? Any more suprises tonight?
Jimmy: Blockbuster announcement. Thorne v Kash III...tonight. But it's all to play for tonight
Fat Tony: Poor Damian. Stripped of the US title, AND he now has to put his number one contendership on the line against Kash
Jimmy: AND IT'S AFTER THESE MESSAGES!

Shot of a group of fans in the crowd. They all yell out "WHOOOO! Eh?" except for one guy coughing up a storm.

Fan: WHOOO... *cough *cough* Eh? *cough *cough*.
Voice: Halls Cough Drops. The Best Cough Drops in Canada.

We return from commercial as we immediately hear a blast on the PA

You think you can Beat me?
You think you can see me?
You think you know me?
You gonna have to kill me!

Jimmy: Wait, isnt that…
Fat Tony: Please god, not the boy scout?
Jimmy: But he’s injured!

YOU MUST DIE, I ALONE AM BEST!!!

A series of pyro bursts explode around the rampway, and out of the sparks steps the figure of Kash, dressed in his usual tights, but with more of a shoot look to him, fingerless gloved hands and padded boots.

Jimmy: Looks like Kash is making a point to Ian Tense with this, the spirit of Wes Sanders in this match with him.
Fat Tony: You think that’s going to help him?

The opening of I Hope You Die fades away into the guitar chords of Respect The Wind, and Kash makes his way down the ramp, slapping hands with fans on either side.

Jimmy: Kash looks more focused today that we have ever seen him, his head seems to be screwed in straight.
Gary Trudeau: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is a Number One Contenders Match, with the winner going to March Madness for a shot at the World HeavyWeight Title. Introducing first, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 252lbs, he is a former US Champion, he.. is..KASH!!!

The crowd pop as Kash rolls into the ring under the bottom rope, looking around the crowd as he waits for Thorne to show himself.

Jimmy: I have a bad feeling about tonight, Kash can usually be counted on for at least a small semblance of restraint, but I don’t see that tonight.

The arena lights dim slowly until they go out. Nothing breaks this except the scene of a grey sky with rolling clouds appearing on the WWA-tron.

Jimmy: Why do I suddenly expect "iiisssss cookin" to come over the speakers?
Fat Tony: Oh great. Law suits here we come!

No music plays, but Damian Thorne's voice fills the arena, booming off the walls like some kind of demi-god.

Damian: Expect the unexpected Kash. I took one dream away from you, and I'll take this one too. Be on your guard Kash, because you never know when I'll be...BEHIND YOU

With that, the lights come up suddenly with a pyro explosion, revealing Damian stood behind Kash, primed. As Kash turns to see him, Thorne almost cuts his head off with an ultra stiff clothesline.

Fat Tony: WHOAA! Thorne getting the drop on Kash
Jimmy: It was, admittedly, very effective

Kash hits the ground hard, the back of his head hitting the mat.

Jimmy: And Kash landed right on his external occipital protuberance.
Fat Tony: *cough*geek*cough* That’s the back of his head for those of you who aren’t science club members.

Thorne immediately picks Kash pack up and without a moment wait, locks Kash in a headlock, snapping him down with a DDT, and holding onto the head, stands again.

Jimmy: Looks like Thorne is going on a roll here.

Swinging neckbreaker.

Fat Tony: And looks like Kash is going on one too.

Reverse neckbreaker.

Jimmy: And Thorne is showing Ian Tense that he isn’t the only one who can chain wrestle.

As Thorne rolls through, still clutching the head of Kash, he gets up and throws Kash over his shoulder.

Jimmy: Perhaps a tribute to Davey Boy Smith, who was a master of this move.

Thorne walks around the ring, supporting Kash over his shoulder before running and slamming Kash down, jamming Kash’s spine into the mat.

Fat Tony: That was a major show of power by Thorne, although I’m not surprised, Thorne is pound for pound the strongest man in the federation.
Jimmy: I have to agree with you there, but in this match, Kash has the speed and unpredictability edge.
Fat Tony: Pfffft, he doesn’t stand a chance in hell.

Thorne sits up, looking behind him at Kash, who is slowly rolling onto his stomach, recovering from this early onslaught. Thorne gets to his feet and drags Kash up by his hair, whipping him off the ropes and catching him on the return trip with a back body drop, only for Kash to roll off his back in a move more usually used by cruiserweights and runs off the far ropes, catching the now turning Thorne by the arm and whipping him to the opposite side.

Jimmy: And Kash is up and doing what he does best, catch-as-catch-can.

Thorne rebounds off the top strand and is caught by a half hiptoss, half judo throw by Kash, who follows up with a kick to the side of the head that staggers Thorne long enough for Kash to run off the ropes and land a flying lariat which send both men to the mat.

Fat Tony: Come on Thorne, this isn’t good.

Kash is the first to his feet, and seeing Thorne rising, catches him across the chest with a knife edge chop.

Crowd: WOOO! EH!

Kash glares into the crowd, a scowl on his face, obviously showing his disgust for the Denrol patented catchphrase.

Jimmy: And Kash didn’t like that.

Landing another chop across the broad chest of Thorne, Thorne retaliates, both men exchanging shops in the centre of the ring before Thorne breaks the exchange with a sublime rake of the eyes, then locks in a side headlock on Kash, grinding away on the ears and the head of the Wicca student. Kash struggles through and pushes Thorne back against the ropes, bouncing him off the far side.

Jimmy: And any time these two run at each other, it always ends up like a train wreck.

Dropping down with all his speed, Kash manages to catch the advancing Thorne with a drop toe hold, quickly floating over his back to lock in a side headlock of his own, keeping Thorne flat on the mat. Thorne powers up to his feet and grabs hold of Kash’s wrist, breaking the side headlock and using his power advantage to take Kash up into a top wrist lock.

Jimmy: When you factor in the strength of Thorne and the leverage of Kash, this could go on all night.
Fat Tony: I hope not, I want to see Thorne destroy Kash quickly.

Sensing the impending deadlock, Kash is the quicker of the two to act, by sweeping the legs of Thorne out from underneath him and locking in another side headlock.

Fat Tony: Enough of the showcase theatre, this isn’t an amateur match.

Again, Thorne powers to his feet and this time, locking his arm around the waist of Kash, sends the Canadian over his head with a bell to back suplex, but to frustrate Thorne, Kash holds on to the headlock and rolls with the suplex, keeping Thorne on the ground.

Jimmy: Good tenacity shown by Kash there.

Thorne gets back to his feet and battles against Kash, grabbing his wrist and forcing Kash back into a top wristlock again, this time managing to get behind Kash in a wristlock which Kash switches into a wristlock of his own, cranking up on the arm of Thorne before spinning him around and locking the Newcastle pitbull in a front face-lock, stretching out so Thorne cant break it easily.

Jimmy: And Kash showing his technical skills here, Thorne is getting countered in this exchange. Fat Tiny: Kash is lucky, just lucky.

Thorne manages to push Kash back against the ropes and lays in a series of hard shots to the stomach of Kash who breaks the hold. Thorne whips him off the ropes and catches Kash on the return in a DVD setup.

Jimmy: Union Jakked ALREADY!!

Apparently not, as Thorne launches Kash up and in front of him, ready for an F5, but Kash grabs Thorne head on the way out.

Jimmy: Tornado DDT by…NO!!
Fat Tony: HAHA

The reason for the commentators reactions? Kash’s attempt at a tornado was swiftly countered again by Thorne who swung the Canadian lion around back onto his shoulders and again, pushed him out, this time with a successful …

Jimmy: F5! F5!
Fat Tony: That’s one wind Kash should definitely respect.
Jimmy: Despite sounding like gibberish, that’s actually pretty clever.
Fat Tony: Hey, what have I been saying all these years, I do have a brain.

Kash hits the ground hard, his face slammed down with all the force Thorne could muster. Thorne rolls around, and after a brief shake of the head to shift the cobwebs, gets to his feet and turns around, waiting for a groggy Kash to get to his albeit shaky feet. Kash turns around and is met by Thorne with a thunderous …

Jimmy: Overhead belly to belly, and Kash flew there, major hang-time.
Fat Tony: Like a vulture, Thorne is just picking Kashs bones clean now.
Jimmy: That’s sick.
Fat Tony: Sorry, I was watching Discovery last night.

Kash rolls with the move and is quickly, well, fairly quickly, to his feet, only to be greeted by Thorne and a …

Jimmy: Release German suplex, and Kash was folded up hard there, that’s a good way to compress your vertebrae.
Fat Tony: Since when did you become Gorilla Monsoon?

Kash is a lot slower to his feet this time, but still aware, and as he sees Thorne coming and swings a wild punch, which Thorne easily dodges and retaliates by hooking Kash’s shoulder and sending him up and over with a …

Jimmy: SAMBO SUPLEX!! And Kash is in trouble now, this sort of sustained offence by Damian Thorne is very hazardous to your health.
Fat Tony: Yea, and I love it.

Keeping a hold of Kash, Thorne quickly gets back to his feet and locks Kash up, lifting him in the air and supporting his opponent in the air.

Jimmy: And a stalling vertical suplex by Thorne, and he is making Kash think about this.
Fat Tony: All the blood is rushing to Kash’s head, and maybe in Kash that’s a good thing?
Jimmy: Explain.
Fat Tony: More blood means more live brain cells, and Kash needs as many of them as he can.
Jimmy: … I’ll be sure to tell Kash that one.

Thorne holds Kash in the air for a good thirty seconds, supporting him weight with ease, before falling back and dropping Kash to the mat hard. Thorne rolls over and, keeping a grip on Kash, stands back up, signals the crowd and gives a WHOOP before popping his hips and snapping him over with a suplex, a snap suplex if you will.

Jimmy: And there’s a move reminiscent of the great Tommy Billington, aka the Dynamite Kid.
Fat Tony: Now it’s a move reminiscent of the great Damian Thorne, aka Mr Nasty.
Jimmy: …touché

Thorne gets to his feet and walks over to the nearest ringside camera.

Thorne: Are you watching Tense? Who’s the suplex machine now Mongo, who is it?
Jimmy: Thorne with his usual intensity here tonight.
Fat Tony: What do you expect from the leader of the HoP?

Walking back over to Kash, Thorne picks him up to wobbly feet, and locks in a bearhug, clamping his thick arms around the body of Kash and shaking him like a rag-doll. Kash tries to struggle out, but the strength of Thorne keeps him locked in tight, the pain wrenching through the lower back of Kash, the air being constricted out of him.

Jimmy: And Kash is going limp here, when you are as strong as Thorne, there aren’t many other holds to use that do this much damage.

Thorne keeps shaking the raggedy figure of Kash till he feels he has done his damage, then with another pop of the hips, launches Kash over his head, sending him spine first into the top turnbuckle. Kash hits hard and drops to the mat, folded in half.

Jimmy: Overhead belly to belly suplex by Damian Thorne, and I hate to say it, Kash looks in serious trouble.
Fat Tony: When is Kash not in trouble, eh?

Dragging Kash out into the centre of the ring, Thorne stands over him, then with a lightning quick movement, drops a Burning Elbow, his elbow hitting the heart of Kash, followed by another, then with a brief pause, another.

Jimmy: And Thorne taking a page from the playbook of another great there, Keiji Mutoh.
Fat Tony: Who?
Jimmy: Great Muta.
Fat Tony: Oh, so, who’s Keiji Mutoh?
Jimmy: Same person.
Fat Tony: Same person, two names.
Jimmy: Yes, he’s a legend in Japan. I’m surprised you haven’t heard of him.
Fat Tony: Nah, don’t pay attention to Japan.

Thorne looks down on Kash, a sadistic smile across his face, a knowledgeable smile that shows he is loving every second of this. Waiting for Kash to get to his feet, Thorne backs off, like a shark about to deliver a killer blow. As Kash gets to a sufficient height, Thorne runs at Kash, attempting a yakuza kick to the head of Kash, but the Canadian barely sees it coming and knocks the foot aside, catching Thorne off balance, then as Thorne spins around, Kash uses all his energy to spin and smash Thorne in the face with …

Jimmy: 180 Snap Forearm, and Kash always put all his strength into that move.
Fat Tony: And Thorne is dazed, both men are groggy on their knees.

Thorne is the first to his feet proper, and walks over to the still rising Kash, but underestimates the recuperative powers of Kash, who grabs the unsuspecting Thorne and drops him to the mat with a thunderous spinning spinebuster.

Jimmy: And another quick move by Kash, and that one had a good effect.
Fat Tony: Thorne was hurt, how is that a good effect?

Kash is on all fours next to the prone Thorne, and slaps the mat, getting the blood and adrenaline pumping through his body. Getting back to a vertical base, Kash quickly picks up Thorne and sends him off the far ropes, catching him on the way back with a vicious superkick to the throat.

Fat Tony: Hey, that’s illegal.
Jimmy: As illegal as a closed fist, not call for a DQ though.

As Thorne hits the ground clutching his throat, Kash acts quickly to follow up, grabbing Thorne around the throat and neck, hauling him off the mat and headbutting him on the bridge of the nose, then pushing the dazed Thorne into the ropes, locks him on the rebound around the arm and head, and throws him overhead with all his strength.

Jimmy: Should we called that a Head Arm Kashplex?
Fat Tony: I’d rather we didn’t.

Kash takes a quick breather after that exertion: then spins around onto one knee, looking down at Thorne.

Jimmy: What’s he planning now?
Fat Tony: Something stupid.
Jimmy: You don’t like Kash at all, do you.
Fat Tony: No I don’t, he’s worse than Ventressa.
Jimmy: What about Sanders?
Fat Tony: He isn’t that bad!

Picking Thorne up by the hair, Kash whips him into the far turnbuckles and backs off, giving a sarcastic howl into the crowd before running at Thorne and leaping from centre ring, flying through the air with a major high altitude avalanche, only for Thorne to react out of instinct and help Kash comfortably fly to the outside, sending him crashing onto the ring steps. Kash lets out a different howl, one of agony. Thorne drops down to the mat and rolls out of the ring, taking a breather as he looks down at the pained face of Kash.

Jimmy: And Kash could be seriously hurt here, his back slammed down onto those steps hard.
Fat Tony: Do it again, do it again.

Thorne walks around to the prone Kash and lands a series of stiff boots to the small of his back before rolling him back into the ring. As the referee tends to Kash, Thorne grabs a chair and places it in one of the corners, outside the ring so the referee cant do a thing about it.

Jimmy: And I think we know Thorne has some evil plans for that chair.
Fat Tony: Hehehe

Thorne rolls back into the ring and pulls Kash up by his hair. Whipping the wiccan into the ropes, Thorne attempts a clothesline, but Kash ducks and follows through off the far ropes. Thorne bounces himself off the far ropes and runs back at Kash. Seeing each other coming, both men fake to the side, but unfortunately, the same side, and they crack heads together in a blood chilling double gore.

Jimmy: That was a twisted accident, we saw Thornes head recoil from here, and now both men are down in the ring.

The ref checks on both men, and both start to move limbs, which is a very good sign. The ref starts a standing count, but both men are already on the up.

Jimmy: And both athletes are showing how tough they really are.
Fat Tony: They really are Tough Enough.
Jimmy: Ok, that’s lawsuit number two.

Thorne and Kash get to their feet, both groggy, both backing into a corner. Thorne is the first to react, charging Kash with another gore, but Kash steps aside, sending Thorne shoulder first into the ring post. Thorne lays there for a second, grabbing the chair he placed there earlier. As Kash goes to follow up, the ref stops him to check on Thorne, and this brief respite allows Thorne to spin around, the chair in his good arm.

Jimmy: This could be a DQ.

Before Thorne has a chance to even think about using the chair however, Kash catches him with a urunage and drops him to the mat with what could only be described as a sitout Rock…..

Jimmy: Bottom of the barrel move there by Kash, Joey K could get upset.

As Thorne lays on the ground stunned, Kash pulls him out further from the corner, and climbs up to the turnbuckle.

Jimmy: If this is what we saw last week, this could be bad news for Thorne.
Fat Tony: What, this Air Thorne rip-off?

Looking down at Thorne, and with a lungful of fresh breath, Kash takes to the air, launching himself up as high as his weary legs can carry him. As he flies towards his target, he sees Thorne move and throw the chair at Kash in mid-air.

Fat Tony: HA! Knock that freak out of the sky.

Well, that might be what Thorne what thinking, but its not what happens as Kash catches the chair and, placing it across his chest, lands down across Thorne with a very familiar move.

Jimmy: KASHCADE SPLASH!! Sublimely reminiscent of Air Thorne there.
Fat Tony: Why isn’t that a DQ?
Jimmy: The ref must have though since Thorne brought the weapon in, it balances out.

Kash rolls off Thorne, both men clutching their ribs.

Jimmy: And the ref starts to lay down a standing 10 count.

1..

2..

3..

4..

5..

Jimmy: And Kash is to his knees.

6..

Fat Tony: So is Thorne.

7..

8..

Jimmy: Both men are up.

Kash attempts a clothesline, but Thorne ducks under the attempt and grabs Kash in a waistlock, launching him overhead with a release german suplex, but Kash counters and rolls over the back of Thorne, locking his arms and head on the way down and pulling him onto the mat,

Jimmy: KASHMISSION!! KASH HAS IT LOCKED CENTRE RING!!
Fat Tony: Fight it Thorne, FIGHT!!

Thorne struggles against the hold, his free arm flailing, trying to free himself from the vice grip of Kash. Using the momentum he had from the suplex, Thorne manages to just get into his side, and stretch for the ropes. Kash wrenches back, but Thorne manages to graze the ropes with his hand, forcing the referee to break the hold.

Jimmy: And Thorne just barely got out of that one. He has tasted the Kashmission before and it is not pleasant.
Fat Tony: Come on Thorne, take the freak down.

Kash reluctantly releases the hold and turns to face Thorne, only to be met by the ring savvy of Thorne who lands a boot to the stomach of Kash. Thorne whips Kash into the turnbuckles and follows him in, only for Kash to duck aside and for Thorne to run chest first into the turnbuckles. Thorne staggers backwards and Kash scrambles to the top rope, but not quick enough as Thorne manages to scramble up the ropes on the inside and grab Kash into a DVD setup. As Kash shifts his weight to avoid being dropped, Thorne pushes off the top to the outside of the ring, spinning Kash in mid air as they drop to the concrete, grabbing his head and sitting out, resulting in a good god almighty …

Jimmy: UNION JAKKED!! OH DEAR GOD!! THORNE AND KASH WENT FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE CONCRETE AND THORNE HIT THE UNION JAKKED!! KASH COULD HAVE A BROKEN NECK!!
Fat Tony: …speechless

Both Thorne and Kash lay on the outside, Thorne clutching his back from the impact, Kash not even moving enough to clutch anything. The referee starts to count, although most of the fans in the front few rows don’t think Thorne and Kash can even move, let alone attempt to break a count.

1..

Jimmy: And the referee laying a count down.

2..

Fat Tony: I think Thorne can make it back in, I doubt Kash can.

3..

Jimmy: That was sheer insanity on Thornes part, he tried to cripple Kash to make sure he gets the title shot.

4..

We switch to a reply when we see Thorne again land the Union Jakked, but this time we see Kash’s head jar back as it is smashed over Thornes shoulder when they hit the ground, and we see Thorne cry in agony as his spine compacts on the floor.

5..

Jimmy: And Thorne is barely moving, but he is making his way towards the ring.

6..

Fat Tony: And I don’t believe it, Kash is moving as well.

7..

Jimmy: But too little too late, Thorne is almost up and on the ring apron.

8..

Fat Tony: Thornes going to win it all, Thorne is going to March Madness.

9..

Jimmy: Wait, there’s IAN TENSE!

CLUNKT!!

Jimmy: Ian Tense just levelled the referee in the head with the belt, just as he was counting to ten.

Tense is in the ring, standing like a man possessed over the body of the referee. He sees Thorne getting back into the ring, his head and shoulders through the ropes, and clocks Thorne around the back of the head with the belt, knocking Thorne into the ring, barely conscious. Picking the cadaver of Thorne off the mat, Tense butterflys the arms and lifts Thorne up in a piledriver, standing over the now dropped World Title belt.

Jimmy: NONONO!! NOT THIS!!
Fat Tony: Crash Course In Brain Surgery coming up, call for Dr Tense.

CRACK!!

The sound of Thornes skull hitting the metal reverbs through the arena and Thorne drops unconscious to the mat.

Jimmy: That was SICK!!
Fat Tony: And now Tense has Kash in his sights, oh, I am loving this.

Kash has managed to raise an arm up onto the apron and is attempting to pull himself in when Tense gets to him and pulls him in. Kash is in no condition to fight back as Tense locks his arms and waist and picks him up, perilously perched over the steel chair that was so positive for Kash earlier.

Jimmy: Dear lord no, not this, come on Ian, not THIS!!

Tense, a huge smile across his face and evil in his eyes, makes one step forward before sitting out and down.

CLANKT!!

Jimmy: IAN-TENSIFIER ON THE GODDAMN CHAIR!!
Fat Tony: Oh my god, oh my god, pleasure overload.
Jimmy: For once in your life, will you be serious, Tense just tried to permanently maim Thorne and Kash, and all you can do is make jokes.
Fat Tony: …stunned silence

The WWA logo appears on the bottom corner of our picture, as we see Tense standing over the carnage in the ring, his World Heavyweight Title aloft, an intense smile across his face.

Jimmy: Ladies and Gentleman, I have no idea how this leaves us for March Madness, but I can assure you, you will NOT want to miss it. See you in Buffalo for hell on earth. I’m Jimmy Rose, he’s Tony Valentino, good night everybody.

We fade out on an image of Ian Tense, standing proud in the centre of the ring, his belt up high, his carnage down below.