TV Title Match

Johny: Now it's time for our Television Title Match which pits defending champion "Pretty Boy" Troy Walcott against one half of The Dynamic Dudes, Super Kid Kool.
Terry: Wake me up when this is over!
Jimmy: Tonight Walcott will announce the purpose of his countdown, it will be interesting to find out what this is. Lets go to ring announcer Gary Trudeau.

Gary Trudeau: The next contest is set for a 20 minute time limit and is a one fall contest for the WWA TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! First, accompanied to the ring by The Radmeister and hailing from Sunset Beach, California, weighing in at 244 lbs. He is one half of The Dynamic Dudes....SUPER KID KOOL!!!!!!!

"CALIFORNIA LOVE" by 2Pac blares throughout the arena as Super Kid Kool and The Radmeister make their way to the ring with black masks and black long trunks.

Johny: This must be "the new attitude" that The Dynamic Dudes mentioned.
Terry: I like it! It's about time they got their heads out of the gutter. I hope Super Kid Kool kicks the crap outta Walcrock!!
Jimmy: Super Kid Kool is calling for the mic now, lets see what he has to say...

Super Kid Kool: Tonight, for all of you who have doubted us and have ridiculed us, the laughing will stop!

Jimmy: What happened to his California accent? He didn't say "dude" or "like"!
Terry: Will you be quiet while the man is trying to speak!

Super Kid Kool: So tonight, the first casualty for The NEW AND IMPROVED Dynamic Dudes is "Pretty Boy" Troy Walcott. Walcott, tonight, you and the entire worl....

The sound of a breeze is heard blowing over the p.a. system. The entire arena gets chilly...

Terry: It's freezzing in here! What the hell is going on? I don't like this part of the NEW AND IMPROVED Dynamic Dudes!

The Dynamic Dudes look around in confusion as the sound of the breeze continues...

V/O: ....AND YOU'RE STILL NOT FEELIN' MY BREEZE!!!!

The lights go out as "WATCH OUT NOW" by The Beatnuts blasts through the speakers as the crowd cheers. After a few seconds, a spotlight comes on and "Pretty Boy" Troy Walcott emerges from the curtains wearing sky blue long pants and matching elbowpads with green kneepads and matching vest and boots. Behind Walcott is The Executive with the TV Title in his left hand and his briefcase in his right hand. Walcott slaps a few hands as the capacity crowd cheers. Walcott enters the ring and asks for the microphone.

Walcott: Ladies and gentlemen, now that Phi Beta Theta has entered the ring, I will have you know, it is time for the PBT SHOW!! And when you're watching PB-Tv...YOU EITHER TAKE THE PLEDGE!!!!

Walcott drops to both knees and holds the mic over his head as Super Kid Kool nails him with a dropkick to the back of the head...

Terry: Wonderful!! I love these guys!
Johny: SKK now whips Walcott to the far side, flying back elbow drops Walcott like a ton of bricks.
Jimmy: SKK now picks up Walcott and irish whips him again into the turnbuckle. SKK quickly follows him in and OHHH, Walcott with a boot to the face leaves SKK staggering slowly backwards.
Johny: Walcott now to the second turnbuckle, and an awesome clothesline takes SKK off his feet. Walcott now, picks him up and a whip to the far side, no, reversal by SKK, but he puts his head down too quick and A SPINNING NECKBREAKER by Walcott.
Terry: Walcott with the advantage now sends him to the ropes and a beautiful spinebuster!
Jimmy: Terry, was that a compliment?
Terry: NO!! Walcott goes for the cover, just a two count.
Jimmy: There seems to be some commotion...here comes "The Crusader" Tommy Lazer?! Apparently, Lazer is going to join us for color commentary.
Terry (sarcastically): Wonderful... Walcott now sets up SKK and a nice standing dropkick sends SKK to the mat.
Johny: Welcome Mr. Lazer, nice of you to accompany us. To what do we owe the pleasure?
Tommy (pointing at Walcott): That man. I will defeat Troy Walcott. He is the most arrogant prick I have ever met, and I can't believe we were boys!

Terry: Yeah, why would you hang out with such a loser like Walcott?
Johny: Walcott picks up SKK and delivers a beautiful hanging vertial suplex. Walcott again sets him up and a nice german suplex into the bridge...1..2..3...no! SKK kicks out at the last second!
Terry: Walcott now diverting his attention over here and is spouting off at Lazer.
Jimmy: SKK now from behind, knee to the back sends Walcott to the outside, and the ref is restraining SKK. But look at The Radmeister putting the boots to Walcott. And now OH MY GOODNESS!! Did you see the impact of that whip into the steel stairs! Walcott is really hurt..
Terry: It ain't cheating if you don't get caught! Radmeister is helping Walcott back into the ring, what a gentleman!
Johny: SKK now setting Walcott in for the ride and excellent flying leg lariat nearly takes Walcott's neck off...a cover, a count...1..2..kickout!
Jimmy: I thought he had him there. SKK now picks up Walcott and delivers a nice pildriver. Smart strategy of working on the neck.
Tommy: Yes! Because if he doesn't break it, I will!
Johny: Sounds like a personal problem to me. What is the deal with you two anyways? This isn't some Fraternity joke is it?
Tommy: Does it look like I'm joking! I have a TV Title shot with Walcott, and when I face him, I am gonna embarrass him!
Terry: SKK now with a brainbuster and how much more can Walcott's neck take? A pin...1..2..3!!! He got him!! We have a new TV Champion!!
Johny: No wait, the ref is signalling a two count! Walcott rolls to the outside apron and now SKK comes over. Walcott to his feet and he just draped SKK's neck across the top cable!!
Jimmy: The ref counting Walcott out of the ring, and he's at 4 already. But look at those two crooks! The dudes are pulling the switch again...Tommy, are you gonna let them do that?
Tommy: Why should I stop them? This isn't my match!
Terry: Wow, you're cooler than I thought! Radmeister is laying down now playing possum. Walcott to the top rope and FLYING ELBOW SMASH!!!
Jimmy: But Radmeister moved out of the way and Walcott is hurt.
Terry: Walcott to his feet and OUH!!!...NICE Belly to back suplex by SKK.
Johny: You mean Radmeister...That's gotta be all! One...two...thr...NO...NO...Walcott just gets his right shoulder up.
Jimmy: I can't believe this guy. What intestinal fortitude...
Terry: Instetnichal what? Anyways, Radmeister complaining to the ref about the count and Walcott is up to his feet, but look at SKK, he's on the apron holding Walcott.
Jimmy: Radmeister goes for a clothesline AND MISSES!!! Walcott ducked and Radmeister just clocked SKK. Radmeister turns around...boot to the midsection, and THE PRETTY PLEX!!! 1...2...3!!! Troy Walcott retains the WWA TV Title!
Johny: Walcott is on his feet, but wait, where is Lazer going? Lazer with a chair, HE JUST NAILED THE EXECUTIVE in the back of the head!
Terry: The Executive is out cold, and now, Lazer slides into the ring with the chair, Walcott doesn't him, he's facing the Dynamic Dudes calling them on, and WHAM!!!
Johny: What a chair shot by Lazer. Walcott is out! Lazer drops the chair and leaves to a chorus of boos as The Dynamic Dudes stomp away at Walcott.
Jimmy: But here comes Kristopher Kasanova!!? Kasanova hits the ring and just nailed both Dudes with a pair of clotheslines.
Johny: Kas now with the chair and SMACK!!! He just leveled Super Kid Kool with the steel chair and BOOM!! the Radmeister gets his too!
Terry: What a coward, he has to use a chair!
Jimmy: Walcott now on his feet and he sees Kas with the chair. Walcott shoves Kasanova and BOOM!! Kas drops Walcott with another chair shot, and the fans are going nuts!!
Johny: The Executive pulls Walcott out of the ring and throws him over his shoulder as he heads up the ramp.

"The Prodigy" Shawn Sargent vs Rattlesnake Ryan

Gary Trudeau: This next match is schduled for on fall and a time limit of 10 minutes. Introducing first he hails from Sacremento California I give you... Rattlsnake Ryan!

"Rusty Cage" by Soundgarden begins and the crowd wails a bit. Rattlesnake Ryan enters the arena and begins to walk down the aisle. The fans place their hands on the Rattlesnake's body while he walks toward the ring with shear anticipation for the match. As he gets closer to the ring he jogs and slides through the bottom rope. He stands up and raises his arms. The crowd gives him one last cheer before the match starts.

Gary Trudeau: And his opponent weighing in at 242lbs and standing at 6'3" I give you the self proclamied Stunning One... "The Prodigy" Shawn Sargent.

"Cowboy" by Kid Rock begins over the PA. "The Prodigy" Shawn Sargent comes through the curtain with both arms raised in the air, knowing that the boos will certainly deafen the few cheers. Sargent is wearing his black "PRODIGY" leather jacket. Tonight, he's also wearing neon yellow tights with "SHAWN" down one leg and "SARGENT" down the other, both in black. One young fan tries to pat Sargent's back, and Sargent rears back, threatening to deck him. Sargent hops up onto the rign apron and somersaults over the top rope, landing him on his feet in the ring. Sargent raises his arms once again to more boos, and takes off his jacket. He looks at Rattlesnake Ryan and calls for the microphone. A ring attendant tosses him a mic.

Sargent: Ryan, Ryan. Listen to what I have say, pal. I know there have been a lot of bitter words, bad blood, whatever, between the two of us recently. Now, I was up real late last night thinking about this, and I've decided that I don't have anything against you. So, Ryan, how about this? How about you and I have a good, clean match here tonight, and the loser buys the first round afterword.

The corwd really pops in association probably with the beer. Sargent extends his hand to shake that of Rattlesnake Ryan's.

Sargent: What do you say, pal?

Sargent shakes Rattlesnake Ryan's hand and the crowd really pops. Then Sargent pulls Ryan toward him and delivers a short-arm clothesline with the other arm, sending Rattlesnake to the mat. Sargent climbs on him and begins delivering punches to Rattlesnake's face with the microphone. After a few shots, Sargent stands up, still bent over him.

Sargent: Of course I've got problems with you, you moron! You're the ugliest piece of trash I've seen in my entire life!

Sargent tosses the mic out of the ring, and continues his onslaught...

Terry: Ha Ha Ha... I love it he's kicking the back of the knees of Ryan and he falls.
Johny: Rattlesnake fighting to get up but in the early goings its all Prodigy as he locks a standing figure four on.
Jimmy: If he falls on the ground it might be all over. Look at Ryan... He makes it to the ropes and the ref making sure Sargent realeses the hold.
Terry: Ryan just nailed Sargent with a low blow and now is asking for a chair.
Johny: NO! THIS CANT HAPPEN!
Jimmy: Oh my god he just smacked Sargent with that chair right into the back of the skull and he is down on the ground and not moving that well.
Terry: I was starting to like Sargent too. Now Ryan lifts him up and a powerfull vertical suplex onto the mat.
Johny: A cover it's all over... 1,2 KICKOUT! I can't beilive he got his shoulder up on that one!
Jimmy: Either can I. But Ryan isn't done yet... he's got him up for a gorrilla press slam and...
Terry: HA! Sargent just raked the eyes of Ryan an he falls down hard to the ground.
Johny: Have you no self pride.
Jimmy: Sargent now lifting him up and what an Irish Whip into the corner, And a spear right to the crouch?
Terry: Look at Rattlesnake he is holding his nuts as if they where just kicked with steel toed boots.
Johny: Now Sargent has a chair and Ryan getting up... here it comes... NO! Ryan kicked the chair and it bounced back into Sargent's face.
Jimmy: But the two weak combantants still fall to the ground in a whole lot of pain.
Terry: The ref is utilizing his ten count and both men are up at 7. Sargent whips him into the ropes and a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!
Johny: Both are not moving from that impact.
Jimmy: The ref is counting 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, and they get up.
Terry: What is Ryan taking out of his tights?
Johny: I don't know but it doesn't seem legal.
Jimmy: He just swung at Sargent with those BRASS KNUCKS, but Sargent ducks under and... "Sixth Avenue Heartbreak"! Sargent hits the front-layout suplex and Ryan is out!
Terry: Decent! Sargent waves to the crowd and hooks the leg... 3!
Johny: The Prodigy pulls out the hard fought win...

Rookie Ring Match: Mystique vs "The Max" Maxwell Martin

Gary Trudeau: Ladies and Gentlemen... The next match of the eveing will be set for one fall and will have a 20 minute time limit. Introducing first, the challenger... He is Mystique!

"The Kids Aren't Alright" kicks in over the speakers as Mystique comes out during the guitar begining. He stops in front of a group of fans and high fives. He jogs around the ring some, striking some superheroish poses. Finally, he slides into the ring under the bottom rope.

Gary Trudeau: And his opponent... He is the reigning Rookie Champion! He is "The Max" Maxwell Martin!

"Superman" by REM blairs over the sound system as Maxwell Martin appears wearing his standard black tights and no shirt. He dances his way to the ring, pausing often to flex for the booing crowd.

Terry: This Max guy is pretty cool.
Jimmy: He is a suck up to the Outlaw!
Terry: There are worse people to suck up too!
Johny: There is the bell and we are underway... Mystique pops Martin in the back of the head, then ducks and weaves like a boxer would do.
Terry: More like a drunk boxer!
Jimmy: Martin stomps his feet and starts in on the ref. Crying about something... Mystique sneaks in from behind and with a quick roll-up... NO!
Terry: Whoa! Martin kicks out at... one? That was pretty slow count?!
Jimmy: Martin pops up as does Mystique.... OH! Martin completely levels Mystique with a jumping clothesline! Now Martin looks to the crowd and gives them a little pose!
Terry: They love him here! Hey... That ref... Who is that!?
Johny: Again... Terry mistakes boos for cheers... Ya know... That is the Outlaw with a REALLY REALLY bad make-up job! The Outlaw in the ref!
Jimmy: Martin Pushes the now rising Mystique back into the ropes and across ala irish whip... Tilt-a-whirl back breaker! Mystique hits hard and Martin quickly gets him up again.. Gutwrench backbreaker!
Johny: Martin clearly focusing on the back now....
Terry: Ya think.
Jimmy: People don't like you much do they! Martin hooks the leg and 2 count! Very close! The Outlaw with a brutally fast count! Martin simply smiles and gets Mystique up... Inverted atomic drop from Martin and Mystique gingerlly move to the ropes...
Johny: Martin charges and clothesline! Mystique out of the ring right in front of us here...
Terry: Hey! Who is that, that just rolled out from under the ring! It looks exactly like Mystique! He is rolling into the ring... Martin is talking with Outlaw in the ring.
Jimmy: This "other" Mystique is laying there playing possum! Martin sees him and comes over bring him to his feet... Oh! Right cross from the imposter Mystique... And another... He goes off the far ropes and crossbody block...
Terry: Ha! Again the Outlaw is slow making the count... 1 count before Martin powers out of it. Again Martin jumps up and nails the imposter to the mat! The imposter insn't moving...
Johny: It looks like the real Mystique has shaken off the damage as he is ready to get back into the ring.... Martin now grabs the imposter and tosses him out of the ring in front of us... The real Mystique jumps up and springboard hurrancanrana!
Terry: This is a travesty!
Jimmy: Mystique jumps up to his feet again... oh! Outlaw just laying him out with the Outlaw kick!
Terry: ha!
Johny: Martin gets up with a fake surprised look on his face... He puts his foot on Mystique and flexes for the crowd, who boo him... Outlaw drops and makes the 3 count!
Jimmy: That was disgusting!
Terry: Well... The score is tied now! Ha! Mystique one and Martin one!

Suneil Sangha vs "Superstar" Johnny Griggs

Gary Trudeau: Intorducing first weighing in at 313 lbs is Suneil Sangha....

The lights fade to black as "Vodoo Chile" by Jimmy Hendrix starts up over the P.A. system. The fans just start a mix between boos and cheers, when two red and white spotlights shoot down from the ceiling toward the JumboTron and the stage. Suneil steps out from behind the curtains, his long flowing traditional white and black ric flair robe drawn tight around his body. He walks slowly to the ring with cockiness and diginity that symbolfies Suneil Sangha. He climbs the steps into the ring nonchalantly and stands in the center. The red and white spotlights die to nothingness. In the ring, Suneil stands, his robe placed in his corner. He stretches out, waiting for his opponent.

Gary Trudeau: And his opponent representing The Fraternity Superstar Johnny Griggs....

"Ghetto Superstar" By Mya Featuring Pra$ & Old Dirtty Bastard kicks up over the P.A. system as "SUPERSTAR" Johnny Griggs makes his way down the aisle a little cocky. He is wearing a white vest that says "SUPERSTAR" on the back in gold lettering and he is wearing white pants that in air brush down the sides red lettering it says "SUPERSTAR". He does a Buff Bagwell dance half way down the ring and than he hops up on the apron and flips over the ropes. As he is in th ring he takes his vest off and runs from side to side and than jumps up and down a couple of times.

Jimmy: Well this looks to be a great match between two up and comers in the WWA.
Terry: Yeah, well I still think Randy Cross will get his hands on the Frat.
Johny: The Frat has their hands in alot of trouble right now.
Jimmy: That is the truth. Well here's the lock up and Sangha has just tossed Griggs back with ease. The power is in Sangha's hands but Griggs has quickness.
Terry: Oh joy another lock up.
Johny: Griggs follows up with a quick arm bar. Sangha counters with a short arm lariat sending Griggs to the mat. Sangha to the ropes and whoa knee to the back of Griggs... Sound strategy by Sangha to keep the smaller and quicker man slowed.
Jimmy: Griggs is up as Sangha drops a quick forearm to his lower back.
Terry: Sangha sends Griggs to the ropes and clothesline..no Griggs ducks. Griggs off the ropes with a flying clothesline which staggers the larger Sangha!
Johny: But Sangha doesn't go down, But hes stunned as Griggs with a dropkick to Sangha's knees and Sangha drops. Sangha is trying to regain his footing, getting up slowly.
Terry: Griggs is taunting the big man. I think that is a mistake!
Jimmy: Griggs grabs Sangha and whips him into the ropes... Griggs bends down looks like a back drop, No Sangha counters with a Powerbomb!
Terry: Griggs is dazed after that.
Jimmy: Nice observation Terry. Tito and Dudeman are up on the ring apron as Griggs regains his feet. Low blow from Griggs!
Johny: Sangha drops to his knees as Griggs hits him square on the chin with a boot. Griggs helps up Sangha and Frankensteiner!
Terry: That was interesting.
Jimmy: Griggs is helping Sangha back up again running to the corner up and Tornado DDT! Sangha is laying in the middle of the ring.
Johny: Griggs give the sign for the finish.. He is up on the top... SUPERSTAR!
Terry: NO!!! Sangha moves and is up to his feet quickly!
Jimmy: Sangha applies the Canadian Deathlock hes to close to the ropes. Griggs grabs the ropes and the ref is right there to ask for the break. Nice heads up and ring presence from the rookie there!
Johny: Griggs up and off the ropes flying clothesline... He again only staggers Sangha back to the ropes. Griggs with a clothesline and both men fall outside the ring!
Terry: Griggs gets up and holds Sangha who is dazed and signals to Tito. Tito with a chair swings and ..SANGHA ducks.
Johny: Tito tags Griggs who is sent sprawling to the arena floor.
Jimmy: Titos helping up Griggs and Sangha follows with a devastating double clothesline taking out both men.
Terry: The Refs Signaling for the bell... What is up with that?
Johny: I am being told that the time limit ran out?! Griggs, Sangha, Tito and Dudeman are all brawling on the floor here comes security.
Jimmy: Securtiy has gotten tough here in the WWA.

Chad Goodman vs Shaman

Camera fades to see a lady knocking on the Fraternity Locker Room and Tommy Lazer lets her in as she flirts with him and thumbs around through the locker room casually and then gets to Chad Goodman's locker and dumps a bottle of something into his gym bag and speaks with Lazer.

Lady: Hey baby you know you are a cute Frat member. Even better looking than Troy Walcott. Well I better be going don't want you to get into trouble with your boss Troy.

Lazer: He isn't my boss! Tommy Lazer does what he wants to do. And I am sick and tired of everyone mentioning Troy Walcott's name in the same sentence as mine! I'm gonna settle this once and for all!!

Lazer storms out of the locker room as the woman looks in confusion. Camera fades to a commercial as Walcott and Goodman walk past the woman into the locker room.

Goodman: Who left the door open?

Pause...

Johny: Our next match featured Shaman taking on Fraternity member Chad Goodman.
Jimmy: Shaman's had his share of trouble with the Frat House as of late and looks to extract revenge on the saint of The Frat House, Chad Goodman.
Terry: Saint...please.

Gary Trudeau: Ladies and gentlemen, the next contest is sheduled for one fall and is set for a 20 minute time limit!! First, representing The Fraternity...here is CHAD GOODMAN!!!

"Anyway You Want it" by Journey pumps over the P.A. and fans jump to their feet and rush the guardrail. After a few moments Chad Goodman emerges from the back to a huge ovation. He smiles as he playfully pumps his fists and give high fives to lucky ringside fans. He makes his way into the ring and runs the ropes real quick before asking for a mic.

Goodman (mocking): Duh duh duh... My name be Shaman. Imma gonna beat you doo doo doo.......(back to a normal) You know something Shaman, I've been getting real tired of your big retarded bum ass talking smack about me. You wanna call me a woman? Well, punk, you wouldn't even know what a woman is! No woman would ever want to be with you. For goodness sakes, look in the mirror. You're like an indian version of Frankentein.... So, Frank, let's do this! Bring It!!!

Goodman tosses the mic to Gary Trudeau as he twitches and scratches himself.

Gary Trudeau: And his opponent...here is Shaman!!!

Lights go dim as the sound of thunder is heard throughout the arena. Smoke fills the rampway and Shaman emerges from the curtain as "DEVIL MAN" by White Zombie blasts throughout the arena. Drums are heard in the distance and and white phospherous pyrotechnics emerge from the stage. Shaman slaps hands and then gets into the ring. As soon as he steps through the ropes, Marcus Helmut comes down the ramp.

Marcus Helmet: Whoa whoa whoa gentleman. It seems you, Goodman are uncomfortable. Thats because of liquid heat. Burns doesn't it. Well this is the lady that came out of the locker room and she is my fiance...

Melanie Childs steps forward and removes a wig and Shaman and Goodman are looking confused...

Marcus Helmet: Well Shaman I figured you needed help since you lost twice against Walcott and I figured you'd fair the...

Shaman grabs the mic from Trudeau and angrily interrupts Helmut.

Shaman: Marcus you have overstepped your bounds my friend!! I don't cheat to win, I eliminate obstacles such as wrestlers interfering or managers interfering. You want to stay ringside fine, but stay out of my business in the ring you were asked to do one thing only and you know what that is!!

Terry: I hate when everyone talks, just wrestle!!
Jimmy: Wait, Goodman climbing the top turnbuckle while Shaman is jawing at Helmut and BOOM!!! Beautiful missile dropkick right the the head of Shaman.
Johny: Nice strategy by Goodman. Goodman now setting Shaman up for an irish whip, no reversal by Shaman...
Jimmy: Goodman ducks one clothesline, and another and a beautiful spinning heel kick by Goodman drops Shaman flat on his back!
Johny: Goodman with the cover...just a 1 count. Goodman using his speed to work on Shaman. Goodman off the ropes now and OUCH!! Shaman just caught Goodman with an impressive tilt-a-whirl bakbreaker!
Terry: Nice move by Shaman. Shaman now setting him up and a superb short arm lariat sends Goodman bak to the mat.
Jimmy: Shaman now picking up Goodman and drills him with a nice side suplex. Shaman with a cover now...1..2..kickout by Goodman.
Johny: Shaman now, irish whip to the near side and sends Goodman to the mat with a sidewalk slam. Lateral press by Shaman, 1..2..thr no!! Goodman kicks out again!
Terry: Shaman picks him up, sets him up for a powerbomb, Goodman up for the ride and facebuster by Goodman!! What a counter...Shaman is staggering!
Jimmy: Goodman from behind, kick to the back and a nice reverse DDT, did you see the impact!?!
Johny: Goodman now off the ropes, somersault leg drop right into Shaman's throat...a mini version of The Flashback. Goodman grapevines the leg....1...2...kickout by Shaman
Terry: Shaman back on his feet...Goodman off the ropes, flying head sciss..NO!! Shaman with a great counter. Chad Goodman falls hard to the mat and rolls outside of the ring.
Jimmy: Shaman follows and is on the apron. Nice double axe-handle sends Goodman right back down. Shaman setting Goodman onto his shoulder and rams Goodman's back right into the steel post!
Johny: Shaman trying again but Goodman slips out and Shaman goes shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Helmut trying to revive Shaman as he struggles back to his feet. Goodman is back on his feet and is pumping his fists.
Terry: Goodman rolls back into the ring and breaks the count. What is he doing, Goodman off the far side SUCIDIE PLANCHA and Shaman and Goodman are both hurt.
Jimmy: What a move my Goodman, did you see how high he got? Goodman now slowly getting back up. Helmut trying to revive Shaman and WHAM!! A right hand by Goodman drops Helmut hard!

Goodman: How's that for liquid heat, huh?

Johny: The crowd is going crazy as Goodman rolls Shaman back into the ring. Shaman is out from the plancha. Goodman climbing to the top turnbuckle and a flying elbow drop connects.
Terry: Goodman with a cover...1...2...thr...no Shaman just gets that left shoulder up. What resiliency by the Native American!
Jimmy: Goodman now going back up to the top rope and Shaman slowly getting up...Goodman going for a flying body press and Shaman counters with a powerslam!!
Johny: Both of these superstars are out of it! But wait, here comes Dudeman and Tito with a table. And the crowd is going nuts.
Jimmy: RUSH is trying to set up the table on the outside, but apparently are having some trouble. Anyways, back inside the ring Goodman trying to go off the ropes but Helmut grabs his foot.
Terry: Look out, here comes Shaman, NO Goodman with a back body drop sends Shaman over the top! But Helmut breaks his fall. Now Shaman grabs Helmut...

Shaman: I told you I don't need your hel..

Jimmy: Look out!! Dudeman from behind. That blow didn't even phase Shaman. Shaman now sets Dudeman up for the ride...CHOKESLAM and Dudeman is motionless.
Terry: But hold on, here comes Rico, Shaman nails him with a big boot to the face. Shaman now pointing to the table and the ref is reprimanding Shaman.
Johny: Look out, here comes Tommy Lazer through the crowd, he's in the ring. Goodman turns around and FRATLINER!! Tommy Lazer just fratlined his own Fraternity brother!!
Jimmy: I don't believe this!! Look out Shaman just gorilla press slammed poor little Pablo through that table, and he and Dudeman are motionless!
Terry: But I love this Tommy Lazer guy, he's leaving through the crowd. Shaman back into the ring and Goodman slowly getting up. Shaman perches him up onto the top turnbuckle and THUNDERCLAP!!!
Jimmy: Shaman with the cover...and a 3 count!! What a travesty! Another good match spoiled because of outside interference.
Johny: I have a feeling that we haven't heard the last from Mr. Lazer. But my question is what has Chad Goodman done to him?
Terry: The question is what is Chad Goodman GONNA do to him!! Shaman now grabs Goodman and throws him over his shoulder and is headed up the rampway.
Jimmy: BUT LOOK!! Look at that. The Executive is standing in Shaman's way and the fans are going berzerk!! The Executive is motioning for Shaman to put him down and he does.
Johny: Look at this stare down...folks, stay with us, we'll be back after this commercial break!!

Tracer Bullet vs "Suicide" James Thornhill

Johny: Okay, this next matchup outta be a dandy folks!
Jimmy: That's right. Tonight, The HOP's personal private investigator puts his WWA United States Heavyweight Championship on the line against "Suicide" James Thornhill.
Terry: Who? He probably will commit suicide after how bad Tracer puts the beating on him!

Gary Trudeau: Ladies and gentlemen, the next bout is scheduled for a 20 minute tile limit and is for the World Wrestling Alliance United States Heavyweight Championship!!! First, the challenger, here is "SUICIDE" JAMES THORNHILL!!!

The crowd hushes as the opening notes of "Fuel My Fire" by Prodigy are heard over the PA system. "Suicide" James Thornhill appears at the top of the ramp to a chorus of cheers, just as the song turns into its heavy hitting sound. He is dressed in a pair of dark green skating pants and Adidas indoor soccer shoes. He proceeds to dance and thrash down the ramp. He stops on more than one occasion to slap a few hands and do a few back flips off of the guardrail. Thornhill finally reaches ringside as his theme song is coming to a close. He quickly heads up the ring stairs and sprints the length of the apron. In one deft leap he plants one foot on the top turnbuckle and completes a back flip into the ring.

Gary Trudeau: And his opponent... he is the reigning United States Champion and a member of the House of Pain...

Terry: Damn right!

Gary Trudeau: Tracer Bullet!

The lights go off and a single blue spotlight hits the top of the ramp while low bluesy saxophone chords are played. Suddenly, a gun is seen on the Jumbotron, which fires, cutting through the sleazy jazz music. The music is then replaced by Pearl Jam's "Jeremy," and a dark figure steps into the blue spotlight. On the Jumbotron, the bullet from the gun that was fired goes whizzing through various highlights of Tracer Bullet's career... mainly the two undefeated streaks he's ended and his US Title victory at Labor Day. The spotlight follows the dark figure down to the ring, and he is handed a house mic on his way into said ring. He pulls a gun out of his shoulder holster. He points it skyward, and as soon as the gun goes off the house lights return to normal. He puts his gun back in the holster and brings the microphone close enough to speak clearly into it.

TB: This has become a pretty much mandatory thing for me to do, you know. Before almost every match, I have to go through my microphone ritual, and this one is no different. After all, it IS a title defense, no matter who it's against. But seriously, James... I respect your willingness to come into this match which you will most likely lose, just to get yourself over. Myself, I got over by persona and mic skills, but... well, we know why YOU didn't. Let's get this match started... oh, and fans, don't blink, or you're liable to miss it.

Tracer hands the mic back to the ring attendant, then removes his trench coat and matching fedora, shoulder holster with gun, and tie. He also hands these items to the ring attendant, and gets ready for the bell.

Terry: Where's the rest of the HOP???
Jimmy: Word on the street is TB's been under the weather lately. And I have a feeling that The House of Pain will be keeping their distance tonight.
Terry: Tracer can beat this Thornfield guy with one arm tied behind his back!! HOP rules!!
Johny: Please don't start...regardless, the bell has sounded and they lok up. Collar and elbow tie up into a standing side headlock by James Thornhill.
Jimmy: Bullet now with a whip to the ropes and nice shoulderblock by Thornhill drops Bullet. Thornhill now, with momentum, off the ropes and plants a nice flying forearm into the cranium of the US Champ.
Terry: Thornbush is going for the cover...1...2..kickout!! My that was close. A bit too early though.
Johny: Have to agree with you there. Thornhill now setting up Bullet, irish whip and he just nailed Bullet with a beautiful dropkick. Lateral press...1...2..no, Bullet kicks out again.
Jimmy: Thornhill with an early advantage now whips Bullet into the ropes and nice swinging neckbreaker by Bullet. Thornhill put his head down too early!
Terry: I love it!
Johny: Bullet now places Thornhill's right leg on the bottom rope and OUCH!! He just jumped right onto Thornhills right leg...and again! And again!! The referee reprimanding Bullet.
Terry: Bullet now with off the rope and drives a knee into Thornhill's right leg. Now Bullet with a standing leglock and Thornkill is crying like a baby!
Jimmy: Thornhill reaches the ropes, Bullet back in control. Bullet with a cover. 1..2..no just a 2 count. Bullet now onto the second rope and double ax hand...no!
Terry: Thornhill fires a fist to the midsection and the champ is staggering.
Johny: Thornhill now levels him with a nice clothesline! Bullet back up to his feet and spinebuster by Thornhill...1...2...kickout!! What is it gonna take to keep Tracer Bullet down.
Terry: TB back to his feet and Suicide delivers a dropkick right to the back of the head and Bullet goes to the outside!
Jimmy: Thornhill not wasting anytime. He's climbing to the top turnbuckle and OH MY GOODNESS!!! Thornhill just nailed Bullet with a nice moonsault!
Terry: He's nuts! No wonder they all him "suicide"!! GET UP TRACER!!
Johny: The ref is counting and he's up to 3 now. Both men are bearly moving!
Terry: Wait, if it's a countout...doesn't Tracer keep the belt!!
Jimmy: Yes, that's correct...
Terry: STAY DOWN TRACER!!
Johny: Apparently he doesn't have much choice, the ref is at 8 and Thornhill just threw Tracer back into the ring. Thornhill now going up top. This is gonna be awesome!!
Jimmy: Thornhill with a nice splash!! And WHAM!!! His abdomen just got introduced to Tracer Bullet's knees!!
Johny: Bullet quickly up to his feet...perched Thornhill on the top turnbuckle...what's this? A superple...NO!!! Incredible!!
Jimmy: Did you see that! Bullet elevated Thornhill as if he was going to do a superplex then dropped Thornhill straight down on his head!!
Terry: What a DDT...there's no way he's getting up from that one!!
Jimmy: Tracer with an arrogant pin now...one...two...three!! That's it...he got him!! Tracer Bullet retai...
Johny: No...the ref is signalling that Thornhill got his foot on the rope!! What resiliency by this kid!
Jimmy: Tracer brings Thornhill back to his feet and sends him in for the ride...NO! Thornhill just planted his foot onto the turnbuckle and turned around in mid-air!!
Johny: Flying clothesline!! He just planted Tracer Bullet!! Thornhill now setting him up for a double underhook suple...no THAT'S THE BIZZBUSTE...I mean THE ADRENALINE RUSH!!
Jimmy: Yes, he and Walcott have similar finishers...the double underhook dominator powerbomb!! A devastating maneuver!
Terry: The what? Wait what is Thornhill doing?
Johny: I believe thats called a pin. 1...2...
Terry: TRACER!!!
Johny: THREE!!! We have a new United States Heavyweight Champion!!!!! James Thornhill just SHOCKED THE WORLD!
Jimmy: Wrestling Alliance! "Suicide" James Thornhill just beat House of Pain's Tracer Bullet!
Terry: Wha- Th-
Jimmy: Tracer is sitting in the ring in shock as Thornhill is holding the US Title up for the fans to see... The fans are diggin him... Thornhill is calling for a mic...

Thornhill: This has been probably been the best match that I have been involved in here in the WWA, and with a good cause, it was a US Title match.

Thornhill holds the belt up for the crowd again. Tracer is now standing there in the ring with Thornhill, as Thornhill is motioning for Tracer to stay.

Thornhill: Which I have just successfully won. But I have one problem with that. I am not here in this federation to win this belt, or any of them for that matter. I am here for one reason, to please these fans out here."

Again the fans pop as Thornhill pumps them up.

Thornhill: That is the biggest reward that I can get. I don't need this belt. I just want to hear the crowd during a great match, a match just like this one we just finished. So Tracer Bullet, I now give this belt back to you. These fans are all I need....

Terry: WHAT?!
Johny: Thornhill is giving the belt back to Tracer Bullet...

Tracer Bullet simply rolls out of the ring leaving Thornhill in the ring holding the belt...

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